Table of Contents

       Cover Page

       Title Page

Introduction

Toy Story

Zip It

The Heroic Potato

The Speculators

The Grieving Process

The Fablus Flautist

The Ear Complaint

Yorkshire Watter

You can’t cheat yer Nan

Year Zero

The Dry-Cleaner

The Crunch

Would You?

The Communication Age

The School Trip

The Comedic Properties of Fruit

Winsor

The Chocolate Teapot

Why?

Reclassifying the Kids

The Art of Luvvy

Wolves

Telegraph Road

Stranger in Town

‘Spolicy

The Man Who Has Everything

Snappy Shopper

The Washing-line of Hope

Scusting

Memorable Elephants

The Endless Queue

Two Birds Having It Off

Multicultural, innit?

The Hot Date

S&M in the High Street

Romance

Rice

Taking Stock

Public Inconvenience

Controversy

       Potty

       Parenthood

       Over-inflated

       Not the Done Thing

       Nah, Mate!

       Mothers

       The Celebrity and the Portaloo

       Tourist Information

       Jimmy Scumbag’s Report

       Man’s Best Friend

       Tea? Coffee?

       Innocence

       Maltesers

       History Repeating Itself