SeVeNtHiRtY. TL Banks
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Thank you very fucking much Lee, Ed, Nathaniel, Andrew, Doug, Jason, Albert, Kerry, Jamelle, Chris, Geoff, David, Earnest, Khary, Steve, Kent, Tommy, Kevin and Logan.
At one time or another my 'crazy' was either born, raised, fed, ignored, loved, stalked, assaulted, hated and/or abandoned by each one of you.
Thank you all for your contributions to my skin tone, my stretch marks, my night terrors, my lust, my anger, my suicide attempts, my bankruptcy, my genius, my regret, my weight fluctuations, my shame, my irrational behavior, my black outs, my sex toy collection, my stint on anti-depressants, my longing, my fear, my pregnancy, my 72 hour psych ward hold, my sadness, my codependency and most importantly, my art and its by product, my strength and beautiful son.
Behind every great woman is the bastard that forced her to stand up for herself.
Your purpose has been served.
Sincerely,
Me
Other Books by TL Banks Pixie's Last Summer The Minx Drunk Talk Lascivious Musings It's Never Over Licking Wounds Feeling Zaffre Savage Lamentations * Whatever Happened to Pixie Prince?
For access to current blog posts, links to buy books, articles, story limbs, poetic musings and the like, visit me at:
Desperatelydespicabledrivel.com
tlbanks.weebly.com
https://www.thisismorpheus.com/author/tl-banks/ @queenrudenation
OCD- Chum Sector Solution 25mg
Delightful ribbons and lacy bows
cover the box where you belong
but you keep seeping onto the table
and taking my cleaning after all wrong
You’re fucking up the packaging
Making the carrier’s edges soft
I rush to repair and readily re-wrap
but you keep peeling your labels off
The more I that try to mend
The more your dumb ass tries to escape
so I say fuck the whole presentation
and throw your entire casket away…
Codependency-Arrested 30mg
With everyone else I think:
I’m so fucking tired of sending pictures to online strangers especially since nobody is fucking interesting at all. They just want to inspect every inch of your body like its a fucking modeling audition just to have a cup of coffee in public and meeting them is pointless, since no one has one intelligent or thoughtful comment to bring to a casual conversation. They are all disposable human beings, pathetic Polaroid pawns…. And then with him I think: A hundred and nineteen of his words later and I’m shaking. Each one, crafted with a chisel Each one, a poisonous pin prick- I’d do anything; for more I’d crawl for more I’d give all of my money I’d plead for more I’d cry and break glass whatever it could take or would to just get one more word from his lips one more’maybe’ I’m a child and a fool one more ‘no’… He doesn’t see me I’d do anything, I have no regrets But his absence- And yet A mere twelve hours of silence later and I’m shaking still, trapped. Each thought, self manipulation Each thought, his to control…
He may not even be that great, I know. But he has never asked me for a picture. He just took a chance that my mind had something worthwhile in it… and now, I’m addicted.
Melancholia- Tipp City Tourist 40mg
Just because a chopped down tree doesn’t scream bloody murder
Just because you can’t see the tears of the fish on the hook
Just because the dead leaves are beautiful in an autumnal yard fire
Just because a lobster’s skin is so bright after it’s boiled
Just because I’d rather write it down to get it out instead of tell you to your face
Doesn’t mean that you didn’t break the little heart that I had left.
Stockholm's- Alee 50mg
Normal Men
Rape one another.
They lie with malicious intent
They steal and castrate
while ravaging the entire earth
with no thought of remorse outside of
the rightness of revenge
Torture, demolition, hostility
Violence, retribution happen every second
of every day
in every corner of our world
Normal Men
Shoot and stab one another.
And because the frequency is common
It is normal Destruction, hatred, aggression are being committed by Oppressive Normal Men in shadows and in the light so often that no one is sensitive to it anymore And because the fervency with which Men destroy Men remains consistent It is as normal as birth Normal Men are the parents and children of Monsters in every generation of our existence. They manipulate for personal gain Normal Men murder one another. They judge with death and scoff at life They bring endless pain in a circular fashion and leave it rotating in their wake. So I am curious, As just another normal man- about what would it cost us and what we could become if we decided all at once and suddenly To be abruptly abnormal and live outside of our current averages and against our own total self destruction….
Avoidant- Release of Lien 55mg
Tell me that you hate me.
Tell me to get lost, tell me to scram, tell me to kick rocks.
Tell me that I completely suck as a human being.
Tell me that you never wanted me
that you never loved me
not even a little bit, even if you have to lie.
Tell me something devastatingly cruel
that you know that you can never recover from
so that I can begin to heal and forget all about you.
Make it easy on me, baby.
Break me hard.
Destroy me fast.
Lie.
Erotomania- The Losers 75mg
I wish that I was making this shit up because if it were fiction then I could be considered to be a brilliant writer. But all I am is a scribe, retelling actual events that I couldn’t invent if I tried to. It’s a story about love. But there is no one in love in the story.
I have a severe addiction to a boy.
He is the best worst thing that I have ever known.
A boy who has no intention, whatsoever, in reciprocating any emotional connection in any way that does not serve him. Its what I like the most about him.
He has been busy, living his life, doing what young people do, and I have done everything in my power in the past two months to get his attention. And finally, he was available. I was shook, I didn’t think he’d ever see me again so in order to make the experience