‘… and that’s when it fell off in my hand.’. Louise Rennison
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First published in Great Britain in hardback by HarperCollins Children’s Books in 2004 First published in Great Britain in paperback by HarperCollins Children’s Books in 2005
HarperCollins Children’s Books A division of HarperCollinsPublishers Ltd, 1 London Bridge Street, London SE1 9GF
Find out more about Georgia at www.georgianicolson.com
Copyright © Louise Rennison 2004
The author asserts the moral right to be identified as the author of the work.
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Source ISBN: 9780007183203
Ebook Edition © OCTOBER 2010 ISBN: 9780007402731
Version: 2015-01-27
A Note from Georgia
Dear Chumettes,
Bonsoir!!! I am writing to you from my “imagination den” (or my bed as some people call it), just to say how much I hope you like “…and that’s when it fell off in my hand.” Interestingly, the Hamburger-a-gogo types (who I suspect may be a button short of a cardigan) called my book “Away Laughing on a Fast Camel”. They said that “…and that’s when it fell off in my hand.” sounds too rude.
They are indeed weird, but what you have to take into account is that they don’t really speak English as such. For instance “fag” only means homosexualist in their land. It doesn’t mean cigarette. So when I wrote that “Alison Bummer lit up a fag”, they said they thought that was “kind of cruel” because they thought she was setting fire to a gay person. I think that illustrates what I am up against.
Anyway, my little chums, I have spent many happy minutes… er… hours writing this and there were a lot of other things I could have been doing, believe me. Juan and Carlos - my imaginary maidservants - could have spent time amusing me, but I said (in my mind), “No, Juan and Carlos! Put down your guitars! Stop plucking! I must write another book for my lovely fans.”
That is how much I love you all.
A LOT.
I do.
I am not exaggerating.
I LOVE YOU ALL.
Georgia, XXXXXXX
p.s. But I am not on the turn.
Contents
Alone, all aloney, on my owney
Son of Angus, otherwise known as Cross-eyed Gordy
“…and that’s when it fell off in my hand.”
Once more into the oven of love
‘…then he ate my boy entrancers.’ Sample Chapter
The Confessions of Georgia Nicolson Series
Alone, all aloney, on my owney
Saturday March 5th 11:00 a.m. as the crow flies
Grey skies, grey cluds, grey knickers.
I can’t believe my knickers are grey, but it is typico of my life. My mutti put my white lacy knickers in the wash with Vati’s voluminous black shorts and now they are grey.
If there was a medal for craposity in the mutti department, she would win it hands down.
I am once again wandering lonely as a clud through this Vale of Tears.
I wish there was someone I could duff up but I have no one to blame. Except God, and although He is everywhere at once, He is also invisible. (Also, the last person who tried to duff God up was Satan, and he ended up standing on his head in poo with hot swords up his bum-oley.)
11:20 a.m.
This is my fabulous life: the Sex God left for Whakatane last month and he has taken my heart with him.
11:25 a.m.
Not literally, of course, otherwise there would be a big hole in my nunga-nungas.
11:28 a.m.
And also I would be dead. Which quite frankly would be a blessing in disguise.
12:00 p.m.