Fresh Joy. Heidi McLaughlin
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After all, the Bible clearly warns us, “Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows” (John 16:33 TLB). I’ve learned to view prayer as a way to develop a deep companion relationship with God rather than an opportunity to always ask for more. I know prayer is not a five-step formula to get me everything I want. I clearly remember praying, “God, you know I love Jack more than life itself. We’re doing your good work here on earth and trying to obey you in all things. Jack’s worked so hard to stay strong and healthy, and he’s too young to leave me. Why would you take him now?”
Because we’re human and fallible there are times when we do let bitterness creep into our soul. But as God-seeking women, we can’t allow unanswered prayer to compel us to hit the eject button and declare “I’m out of here; I don’t trust God anymore. Prayer doesn’t work. God doesn’t care, and I will live through the pain in my own strength.”
I chose to make a deliberate choice to open the window to heaven and get a glimpse into God’s “upper story.” This upper story is God’s big picture of our personal lives, from beginning to end, while we’re walking on this earth. It’s the redemptive meta-narrative of God’s plan for our lives from a heavenly perspective. In the upper story we find out what God is up to, how he is weaving our story into his unstoppable and unchangeable divine story. God, the author of our lives, is writing a grander blueprint of our lives that will unfold in clarity when we see him face to face. For reasons you and I will never know, God has to say “no” now and then.
I agree with Philip Yancey in his book Prayer: Does It Make Any Difference? as he looks at the blessing of unanswered prayer:
By answering every possible prayer, God would in effect abdicate, turning the world over to us to run. History shows how we have handled the limited power granted to us: we have fought wars, committed genocide, fouled the air and water, destroyed forests, established unjust political systems, concentrated pockets of superfluous wealth and grinding poverty. What if God gave us automatic access to supernatural power? What further havoc might we wreck?9
When I began my relationship with Jesus Christ in 1978, I wanted to sing like the people on the worship teams—the ones who ended up recording cassettes and albums and travelling around the country performing at concerts. I asked God to give me a perfect-pitch voice as inspiring and engaging as theirs. It never happened. God’s plan was to use my voice for prayer and encouragement and to bring the Good News of Jesus Christ to the nations. Thankfully God gave me a speaking and writing ministry, but over the past 25 years I’ve had to deal with the disappointment and rejection of many “nos.”
It gives me comfort and hope when I apply a heavenly perspective to stories in the Bible of the numerous people who also received a “no.”
• The prophet Jeremiah anguished and wept for Judah, for the temple, and for Jerusalem not to be destroyed. Jeremiah cried out, “My grief is beyond healing; my heart is broken. Listen to the weeping of my people; it can be heard all across the land ... I hurt with the hurt of my people. I mourn and am overcome with grief” (Jer. 8:18–19, 21 NLT). Jeremiah devoured God’s Word—it was a joy and delight to him. Jeremiah was faithful and obedient to the point of agreeing not to marry. Yet when he cried out for God to save Jerusalem, the answer was “no.”
• Elijah, the zealous prophet, was worn out and depressed after the showdown with the 450 prophets of Baal. He ran into the wilderness and sat under a solitary broom tree, praying that he might die. “‘I have had enough, Lord,’ he said. ‘Take my life; I am no better than my ancestors’” (1 Kings 19:4). Again, God’s answer was “no.”
• The apostle Paul pleaded three times for God to remove the thorn from his flesh. Not only was God’s answer “no,” but Paul was told, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness” (2 Cor. 12:9).
• Then there was Jonah, who did not want to go to Nineveh. Job, who wanted to die. Israelite armies who prayed for victory endured humiliating defeats. God answered all of them with a “no.”
Instant answers and immediate joy are expected in this present generation. Want to know how many more days until spring? Ask Siri. Want to learn how to make apple roses or to crochet? Find the right YouTube video. Want to know the distance from your house to the conference centre? Pull up Google Maps. With our present technology we feel entitled to get immediate answers for the things we need or want. But God is not our latest guru, Google, or Bible Gateway.
God is clothed in majesty and shrouded in mystery. He is far but yet so near. On the day I can create a flower or tree I will feel justified in questioning him. Until then I will subdue my soul by reflecting on these profound words: “Now we see things imperfectly, like puzzling reflections in a mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarity. All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as God now knows me completely” (1 Cor. 13:12 NLT).
Isn’t this wonderful news? No matter how hard we try, we can’t figure out God. Saturating ourselves in these truths compels us to let go of our questions and trust God for the day when we will understand everything.
Every intersection of crisis demands a choice. The worn-out cliché “It will either make you better or bitter” is annoying but true. Will we allow unanswered prayers to harden our hearts or use them to push deeper into God’s unfailing love, to grow wiser and experience a more profound sense of joy? Our God of the “upper story,” who orchestrates everything to fulfill our very best lives, longs for us to trust him in the good and bad things that come our way.
Trusting God through hardship doesn’t mean we suck it up and move on. There is a time for expressing honest grief and deep sorrow. David, the author of many of the psalms and a man after God’s own heart, was on the run for his life for 16 years. With honesty and pain he lamented and cried out over and over again:
• “I am exhausted from crying for help; my throat is parched. My eyes are swollen with weeping, waiting for my God to help me” (Ps. 69:3 NLT).
• “Hear my prayer, O Lord! Listen to my cries for help! Don’t ignore my tears” (Ps. 39:12 NLT).
• “I pray to you, O Lord, my rock. Do not turn a deaf ear to me. For if you are silent, I might as well give up and die” (Ps. 28:1 NLT).
David’s laments echo deep into my soul. But we cannot stop there. As we continue surveying David’s tumultuous “lower story,” the day-to-day events of his life, we get to see God’s heavenly perspective, “the upper story,” unfold. Finally, David is crowned king of Judah (2 Sam. 2:4). The “upper story” had always been for David to become king, but in the seemingly long wilderness, David had to trust God and stand strong for his daily victories.
Grow Your Joy
Sometimes unanswered prayers change our lives dramatically in ways we didn’t choose or ask for. I didn’t ask to be a widow a second time. The divorce was not in your agenda. The bankruptcy was never in the blueprint. Your child’s disability will never change. It’s hard to live with the fallout. The Bible says we are to pray and believe, and I’m sure that’s what most of you did. How do we move forward without becoming bitter? How do we gracefully move to joy?
1. Accept your lower story. As painful as it is, we have to accept our “lower story,” which is our daily struggle of joy and pain. When Jack died, I had to accept the unfair reality that I was a widow once again. This is our time to lament, cry, get angry, and allow the shock to settle in our soul. Accepting our reality and feelings is the first step to moving forward.
2. Seek goodness. While on the run for over 16 years, David, in the middle of his battles and hardships, chose to praise God and remind himself of God’s unfailing love:
• “Weeping may stay for the night, but rejoicing comes in the morning” (Ps. 30:5).
• “The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and he helps me. My heart leaps for joy, and with my song I praise him” (Ps. 28:7).
Elisabeth Elliot, who lost her husband on the mission field and faced multiple hardships, said this about our loving God: