The Marked Men Series Books 1–6: Rule, Jet, Rome, Nash, Rowdy, Asa. Jay Crownover
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CHAPTER 9
Rule
“So you want to come clean and tell me why you’re acting like even more of an asshole this week than normal?” Rome was standing over me while I bench-pressed the weight up off my chest. He had asked me to go to the gym on Saturday because he was supposed to start rehabbing his shoulder. Even banged up my brother was cut, and working out with him put me to shame. I spent most of the workout trying not to flinch when I noticed how much more weight he was using than I normally did. Once the bar was locked in place I sat up and ran a towel over my sweaty face and newly shaved head. I hadn’t cut it all the way to the scalp like Nash wore his, but the Mohawk was gone and all I was left with was dark stubble all across my head. With my eyebrow rings and the tattoos that climbed up my neck I thought it made me look a little like an escaped prisoner.
“Not really.” I followed Rome as he moved over to the set of free weights and started hefting one back and forth with his bad arm. It still bothered him because he winced each time he retracted and extended but he didn’t complain and just kept up the reps. I should tell him I was all bent out of shape over Shaw; he would probably have really good advice to give me, since I was pretty sure I was on a path bound to screw up something that was turning out to be amazingly good. When he’d left Wednesday to take her to dinner it had taken everything I could do not to tackle him and demand to know if she had asked about me and if she was doing okay. Then I remembered I was purposely not answering her text messages or returning her calls and figured I would just leave it be.
His eyes met mine in the mirror as his face twisted into a tight grimace of pain. “It wouldn’t have anything to do with why Shaw looked like a freaking ghost on Wednesday when I saw her, would it?”
“Why would you think one thing had to do with the other?”
“Because I’m not stupid. She’s had a thing for you for a while and I figured it was only a matter of time before you got your head far enough out of your ass to see it. Plus, both of you have been staring at your phones for the last week like they hold all the answers to the universe and looking like kicked puppies when they don’t have on them whatever it was you’re looking for.”
I swore and worried my lip ring with my tongue. “You’re really gonna be cool if I tell you Shaw and I have been hooking up? Or are you going to hurt me?”
“As long as it’s more than hooking up I will be cool as hell. Shaw isn’t one of your one-night stands, and if you’re treating her like she is I’ll break both your legs.”
I scowled at him and flipped him off in the mirror. “What do you mean she’s been into me for a while? She got hammered one night and things got heated and I couldn’t stop it from happening, so I figured, why not roll with it? I like her. I mean I like spending time with her. She’s fun but she’s always so busy and this weekend she went back to Brookside with her weirdo ex because her mom told her to. I just don’t know if I can hang out with someone like that. She’s twenty years old, she should be living her own life, not bowing down to her parents’ every whim.”
“So let me guess: Instead of having a rational, reasonable conversation with her about it where you laid out your concerns, you probably just shut her out and refused to talk to her while you seethed and festered in your own anger.”
I shrugged a shoulder.
“Rule, Shaw has known you for a long time. Can you imagine what she’s thinking you’re out doing while you’re ignoring her? Come on, brother, use your head for one bloody second. Is it worth it to ruin it all before you even get it started? That girl sees you, I mean really sees you, and I think she has since the very beginning when everyone was always looking around you to see Remy. You need to stop being stubborn and make things right with her.”
“She went with her ex, Rome.”
“Yeah, and you went out last night and let some skank shove her tongue down your throat. Not everyone operates off the same script, Rule. Most people want to make their parents happy, want to have them approve of what they are doing with their lives. Not everyone can burn every bridge the way you do. Most people want a way back home.”
I cringed a little because his words hit right at the center of me. Had I been just a little drunker, just a little stupider, I probably would have made a mistake last night that there was no going back from. Luckily, the redhead had tasted like sticky sweet lip gloss and smelled like cheap floral perfume. She had none of the softness or perfectness of how it felt being lip-locked with Shaw, so I had sent her on her way and felt like shit for the rest of the night. I knew I was going to have to talk to Shaw. I couldn’t keep going on like this or I was going to end up sabotaging everything that was building between us.
“It freaks me out, Rome.”
“Why?”
“You know why. Once someone is in, it kills you when they leave.”
“Come on, Rule, the people who care enough to get in normally don’t want to leave. Just look around you: I’m still here, Nash hasn’t gone anywhere. Jet and Rowdy would kill for you, and if you took a minute to think about it, Shaw has been there just as long. You might have thought she was there for Remy because he always watched out for her and protected her, but I think you’re smart enough to realize now that maybe she was trying to take care of you for another reason altogether.”
He let the weights clatter to the rack with a thud and turned to look at me out of cool eyes.
“Grow up, Rule. Stop acting like a spoiled brat who can’t live outside his brother’s shadow. You have an amazing, successful career, a solid group of friends, a family that might be broken but loves you nonetheless, and you have a pretty spectacular girl just waiting for you to realize she’s yours for the taking.”
“Man, when you go big brother you go all out.”
He rolled his eyes at me as we made our way to the locker room. I shrugged back into my street clothes and shot a quick glance at my phone. My heart constricted in my chest when I saw the message she had sent. I could practically hear how sad she was in the words. I really was an asshole; I could have talked to her instead of sending her off with that jackass without a word. I was trying to think of something to text her back when Rome thunked me on the back of the head with his palm.
“Let’s go.”
“I have to be at work at noon anyway. Hey, Rome.” I waited until he turned and looked me in the eye. “What about Mom and Dad?”
“What about them?”
“Me and Shaw. If I get it figured out, if I manage not to screw it up royally, what am I supposed to do about them? They would never understand.”
“Who cares? You deserve to be happy and so does Shaw. Remy is gone and that’s just the way it is.”
I cleared my throat and ran my hand across the back of my neck. “Yeah, well, Shaw was never with Remy that way.”
His eyes got big and his mouth sort of dropped open. “Do I want to know how you know that?”
“Probably not, but let’s just say I know for a fact she and Remy didn’t have a relationship like that.”
“Well regardless, it isn’t any of Mom and Dad’s business.”
I sighed again. “Yeah, I guess.”
We parted ways and I made my way to the shop. I had a busy day with clients back to back and I was still committed to going to the show with the guys that night. Brent, the lead singer of the band, was a good client and I got a lot of good press out of having my work on him since Artifice had blown up over the last few years.
After work I went home and changed and got ready to roll out with the boys, but my mind was still on Shaw and the text she’d sent me this morning. She had hurt me and even though I was too hardheaded to admit it, that was the reason I had pulled away. I didn’t want her around