When Love Comes Home. Arlene James
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and as before a command from him shut off the awful cacophony.
“Howler!”
Subdued now, the dog’s pink tongue lolled out of its mouth as it waited eagerly for Vaughn to pet it. Instead, he stomped toward the house, leaving his mother to retrieve the bags that Grady pulled from the trunk of the car. Matthias came down the steps toward the boy, a smile—or at least what passed for a smile—on his craggy face.
“Don’t mind old Howler,” the old man said. “He’s all alarm and no guard.”
Ignoring Vaughn’s scowl, he stuck out a hand, but the kid twisted past him and all but ran into the house, slamming the door behind him. Matthias stood for a moment, gazing toward Paige, who sighed. She seemed tired and sad. Finally, the old man turned and made his painful way up the steps and back inside.
Paige turned to Grady. “I tried to prepare myself,” she said, and he heard the trembling uncertainty in her voice. “Knowing intellectually how difficult it might be and going through it are two different things, I guess.”
He wanted to tell her that time would heal all wounds, that the worst was past her, anything to make it better. But what did he know? As she’d pointed out earlier, he had no experience as a parent and no hope of it. She likely would not appreciate words from him, anyway, so he just hoisted the bags and muttered, “I’ll carry these in for you.”
“No,” she said, taking them from him, “you’ve done enough. Thank you. With all my heart, thank you.”
He shook his head, shocked by the urge to hug her. Instead he asked, “You going to be okay?”
She smiled tremulously. “Oh, yes. My son is home. He isn’t happy about it, but I knew he might not be, and I really have tried to prepare myself to deal with it.”
“I don’t know how anyone could prepare themselves for this.”
“I’ve been seeing a Christian psychologist for the past two years.”
“Didn’t know there was such a thing.”
“Oh, yes. Why wouldn’t there be?”
He shrugged. “Just never thought about it.”
“I wanted someone who shares my beliefs. My pastor recommended her.”
“Ah. Makes sense, I guess.”
“Dr. Evangeline’s been very helpful,” she said. “I’m really not surprised by Vaughn’s behavior.”
Just disappointed. Heartsick. Weary. She didn’t have to say it. Grady saw it in the droop of her slender shoulders, the tilt of her head, the dullness of her beautiful eyes.
Grady looked to the house, escaping the weight of her emotions by wondering what might be going on in there. “I guess.”
Her gaze followed his, and she whispered, “I can’t help wondering what Nolan’s told him about me, though. I mean, how did he explain taking him away from me?”
Grady hadn’t thought of that. “Well,” he said slowly, “any number of ways, I guess.”
“And none of them good,” she muttered, adding wistfully, “He was barely eight when they disappeared, just a little boy. He wouldn’t know what to believe or what not to.” She looked to the house again. “Now he’s almost a teenager, and I have to accept that there’s no making up for lost time. He has to learn how to have a mom again.”
It occurred to Grady that he and Vaughn had something in common: they’d both been denied their moms at very young ages. Suddenly Grady thought of the last time he’d seen his own mother.
No one could have guessed that day as she’d dropped him off at school that she would never make it back home. To his shame, he’d shrugged away the kiss that she’d pressed to his cheek as he’d gotten out of the car, and he hadn’t looked back or waved a farewell even though he’d known that she would watch him all the way through the door of the building.
He’d never seen her again. When his dad had shown up at the school later that morning with his brother sobbing at his side, Grady had known that something awful had happened, but he’d never expected to hear that his mom was gone forever. He hadn’t believed it. Sometimes he still didn’t believe it.
Grady didn’t tell any of that to Paige. He had never told it to anyone. It was just something that he lived with. Suddenly Vaughn didn’t seem like such a brat. No doubt the kid was terribly confused right now. Remembering what that was like, Grady hoped that the boy would soon come to see how lucky he was to get his mom back.
Clearing his throat, he said that Dan would probably be calling her in the next couple of days. She thanked him again, and then there was nothing left to do but get back into the car and head home alone.
He should have been relieved, and on one level he was. It had been a long, trying day. Still, he couldn’t help feeling that he was abandoning Paige.
His last sight of her was in his car’s left side mirror. Bathed in the rosy glow of his taillights, she stood there alone with a bag grasped in each hand, a small woman with a big job before her.
If he’d been a praying man, Grady would have said a prayer especially for her. As it was, he fixed his gaze forward and drove home, even more troubled than the last time he’d done so.
Chapter Four
Paige listened to the door slam and dropped down onto the sofa, sighing inwardly.
Nothing she’d done or said in the past month had made her son the least bit happy. He’d hated his room on sight. Too “babyish.”
She’d rearranged everything and bought new linens and window treatments, keeping her regret buried as she’d put away the boy he’d been, all the things she’d treasured to remind herself that he was real and belonged in this place. He hadn’t seemed particularly pleased once the changes had been made, but given how often he retreated to his room in a huff, he must have felt more comfortable with his personal surroundings than before.
Today’s huff had to do with his impending return to school. Or perhaps it was the gifts he’d received yesterday for Christmas. Or the “do nothing” environment of Nobb. It was all tied up together somehow.
She’d kept Christmas low-key, realizing that it might not be the celebration for him that it was for her. Recalling the dreary Christmases she’d spent without him, she tried not to dwell on the fact that this one hadn’t quite lived up to her expectations. He’d spent most of the day bemoaning the fact that he was missing out on a hunting trip his father had promised him.
Before noon on this first day after Christmas he’d declared the video games she’d bought him “boooring,” the radio-controlled car “junk,” the clothes “lame.” Then he’d complained that he didn’t have anyone to do anything with.
Realizing that she was not yet someone to him, she’d made the mistake of suggesting that they invite over a few of the kids from church. He’d rolled his eyes, already having made known his feelings about church, which according to his dad was for “weaklings and nut jobs.”
She wondered if Nolan had always thought that, even during the years that he’d attended with her, starting when they were dating in high school. After Vaughn’s birth Nolan’s church attendance had grown increasingly sporadic, until it finally ceased. Once that had happened, the divorce had quickly followed, but Vaughn didn’t need to know that.
Or did he? She wasn’t sure, and since she wasn’t certain, she kept her mouth shut. Everything she believed told her that it was wrong to point out Nolan’s faults to his son. Yet, she wanted him to understand the importance and value of regular worship. Reminding herself that if she was confused, then he must be even more so, she held on to her patience. And her convictions.
Because Vaughn had nixed inviting over any of the youth from church, she had wondered aloud if he might want to call some