I Found You. Jane Lark
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just shrugged and looked ahead again like she didn’t care.
God, if Lindy got grabbed she’d be in a steaming fit of anger all night, she’d never let a guy do that to her. She’d slap anyone who tried it.
When we got to the bar I found myself standing half to one side and half behind Rach, to shield her from the crush.
It was her turn to pay. She held out a note and looked up and down the busy bar. The girls working ignored her, but the guy clocked her in a second and turned to her even though probably at least ten people near us had been waiting longer.
“A beer and a rum and cola.”
Of course the reason I’d never been to a bar like this was probably because Lindy would’ve hated it and I’d been with Lindy since long before the legal age we could drink. Lindy’s way of doing things had been a habit of mine for a very long time.
“You’re going all guardian-angel on me again,” Rach said as she handed me my beer.
“Better that than let you get accosted by some scum.”
Her eyes looked deep into mine for a moment. Then she said in a much lower voice, “You’re way too nice, Jason.”
I was happy with nice though. “What’s wrong with nice?”
Her lips pursed for an instant. “Nothing.” Then she looked away from me, down at her drink.
Anyway, I didn’t think Lindy would think me very nice tomorrow when I called everything off between us. But that’s what I was going to do. It’s what I had to do. It was for the best in the long run.
I sipped my beer, feeling the weight of the decision rest on my shoulders. It wasn’t going to be easy to do.
Some woman started singing Beyoncé’s, Single Ladies (Put a Ring on It,) and I glanced up and saw her looking down from the small stage at the crowd, clearly hinting at some guy among them.
Rach gripped my forearm. “Come on, let’s get closer to the microphone, I wanna sing.” Her fingers slid lower to catch a hold of my hand as she began moving to lead the way through the crush. I gripped her long slender fingers in return, smiling again as my other hand held my beer and I watched her assertively cut us a path through the crowd of people.
She was so different to the woman I’d met on the bridge. The two of them were unrecognizable as the same, and Rach was so different to Lindy, a breath of fresh air in my life.
Rach sang Katy Perry’s Firework like she sang it to herself for inspiration, for encouragement… She glanced at me a couple of times smiling as she sang and as the crowd sang along, and I caught the words, and well… Rachel had been travelling a journey the last couple of weeks and she’d found hope somewhere inside herself, when she must have been seriously knocked down by life. I wanted to hold her suddenly, but I stood a couple of feet back in the crowd still gripping my beer. There felt like an ocean between us, but then she looked down at me, properly, as she sang the chorus, and our eyes caught. Those unusual green eyes I’d kept just wanting to stare at all week to try and work out the color. There wasn’t an ocean between us anymore, it was just us in the room and she was right inside me.
Her gaze tore away and spun over the crowd. It was more than lust I was feeling for Rachel.
“You’ve gotta sing too,” she urged when she’d finished.
“Really, I’m seriously bad. You don’t want to hear me sing.”
“But this is your reckless night, you’ve gotta sing.”
“Honest Rach, I’m not just being modest.”
“Well, I’ll sing with you then. Come on, let’s pick a song.”
My heart was not in it, I couldn’t decide, so making an excuse to escape I fought my way back to the bar to get us another drink for more courage and left Rach to make the choice.
“We’re third up!” she yelled over the noise of the crowd when I returned. “We’re singing Snow Patrol’s, Chasing Cars!”
“Don’t expect anything great from me!”
“It’s fun, it’s not a contest, relax!”
“Relax… Easy for you to say, you can sing!”
“Well now you’re gonna sing!”
“Yeah, right.”
“Seriously, Jason, you need to chill, you shoulda bought another shot! Courage!”
I smiled at her, an open smile. I was trying not to, but I felt like I was spoiling her night.
When I raised my bottle to my mouth she tipped the bottom up so my mouth flooded with beer.
I coughed and sputtered while she laughed. I gave her a wry smile afterwards.
I didn’t know how anyone could stay in a bad mood around her. I leaned forward, my hand resting on her waist to steady myself in the crowd and whispered near her ear, “I’m cheering up. I’ll give it my best shot.”
“You do that, Jason Macinlay, or you’ll have me to answer to!”
I grinned at her and carried on drinking my beer, as the crowd about us started singing along with the guy on the microphone, to Ne-Yo’s, Let Me Love You. The words hit me, just as the words of Firework had.
I doubted Rach loved herself, despite all her bravado.
The words of the Ne-Yo song kept on reverberating as though they were in my chest, and distracting my thoughts, or perhaps it was the alcohol, that distracted my thoughts, or the hot woman next to me, in a tight red dress, whose hip kept brushing mine.
“We’re up!” She grasped my hand and pulled.
“Already?” I was moving but I suddenly felt a cold sweat of fear. This wasn’t me…
“Yep, already!” She shouted down from the stage, smiling at me and trying to tug me after her.
I stepped up. My heart was hammering. Then I looked at all the people. The room was full. Rach shoved a microphone into my chest. I took it without thought.
The guy managing the sound system reached out and grabbed my beer. Perhaps he realized I might well freak and spill it all over the electrics. Rach was still gripping her drink.
The music began and my heart was in my throat. Shit, Rachel, why the hell are you making me do this?
She started singing, in a perfect key, her eyes wide and urging me to pick it up.
If I didn’t, I’d let her down, I wasn’t going to let her down. I opened my mouth and sound came out, it didn’t sound great but her perfect pitch carried it. I carried on trying to match my tone to hers and our voices blended and it didn’t sound too bad at all. It gave me confidence and I forgot the people in the room completely and just looked at her, her green eyes were shining, staring into mine, smiling, like she laughed even as she sang, and I sang with her.
I found myself enjoying it, truly enjoying it, as we sang to each other what was basically a love song while the crowd around us sang along so loud they probably never even heard my voice.
It was possibly the most empowering experience of my life, and my racing heart became enthused by the buzz of adrenaline from the fear. God, I wanted to kiss Rach, just once, right now.
I didn’t, and then the song ended and I realized I’d forgotten everything going on around me. It was over too soon. When we climbed down, I gripped Rach’s hand. “I want to do it again.”
Her gaze spun to me, “Really?”
“Yeah, I enjoyed it.”
She laughed, her arms coming up about my neck at the same time.
Her hug was firm, short and sharp, but