Copyright © 2016 by Eric Rosswood

      All rights reserved. No portion of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form whatsoever, including electronic, mechanical or any information storage or retrieval system, except as may be expressly permitted in the 1976 Copyright Act or in writing from the publisher.

      Requests for permission should be addressed to:

      New Horizon Press

      P. O. Box 669

      Far Hills, NJ 07931

      Eric Rosswood

      Journey to Same-Sex Parenthood:

      Firsthand Advice, Tips and Stories from Lesbian and Gay Couples

      Cover design: Samantha LemMon

      Interior design: Scribe Inc.

      Author photo: Beki Dawn Photography

      Library of Congress Control Number: 2015913633

      ISBN-13 (eBook): 978–0-88282–515–1

      New Horizon Press

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      What People Are Saying About

       Journey to Same-Sex Parenthood

      “Journey to Same-Sex Parenthood will lead you through moments of both laugh-out-loud humor and immense heartache. This book is informative, emotionally compelling and a must-read for LGBTQ people considering parenthood.”

      — Zach Wahls

      Author of the national bestseller

       My Two Moms: Lessons of Love, Strength, and What Makes a Family

      “Like many other LGBT people, I was desperate to be a parent. I wish Journey to Same-Sex Parenthood had been available when I began my own process. It’s a fantastic read, filled with beautiful firsthand experiences of becoming families and, to my mind, the ultimate resource for any LGBT person wanting to be a parent.”

      — Charlie Condou

      Actor, Writer, Father and Activist

      “This book is an eye-opener for what same-sex couples really go through when trying to start a family. In my work as a legislator advocating on behalf of our community, I’ve seen the stumbling blocks many couples face on the path to becoming parents—both in law and in society—and this book is a great resource for couples considering this often difficult process.”

      — NY State Assembly Member Daniel J. O’Donnell

      Sponsor of New York’s Marriage Equality Act and the state’s groundbreaking anti-bullying legislation, the Dignity for All Students Act.

      “The resources available to same-sex couples wanting to have children are limited, but Journey to Same-Sex Parenthood helps fill that void. The couples in this book have sacrificed their privacy and personal lives to make this road less traveled easier and brighter for future families. This is a must-read for anyone considering adoption.”

      — Tania Bradkin

      Commissioner of Social Services for the City of Santa Monica

      “Raising a child is one of the most rewarding experiences we can have, but for same-sex couples, the countless possibilities for starting a family can be overwhelming. Journey to Same-Sex Parenthood does a great job when it comes to breaking everything down, comparing all the options and helping readers figure out which path is right for them. I’m so happy a resource like this is available!”

      —Judy Appel

      Executive Director, Our Family Coalition

       Table of Contents

Foreword by Melissa Gilbert

Introduction by Charlie Condou

Preface

Part 1: Open Adoption

Mat and Eric Rosswood

Chris and Novia Rowzee

Matthew Smith and Trey Darnell

       Manuel and Dale

       Part 2: Foster Parenting and Adopting from Foster Care

       Cori Ferguson and Casey Garrison

       Duke and Steve Nelson

       Diana Buchbinder

       Rob Watson

       Thomas Whaley and Carl Leichthammer

       Lisa Blake and Kerry Booth

       Part 3: Surrogacy

       David and Josh

       Kevin Wakelin

       Part 4: Assisted Reproduction

       Elaine Boyd and Cathy Smith

       Sarah Ann Gilbert

       Rudene and Anna-Marie du Preez

       Lois D’Imperio and Holly Robinson

       Jenn and Michele Margiotta-Watz

       Part 5: Co-Parenting

       Paul and Dustin

       George Tennant

      Epilogue by Gabriel Blau

      Words of Advice

      Wrapping Things Up

      Acknowledgments

      Appendix A: Legal Considerations

      Appendix B: Reasons Why and Challenges

      Appendix C: Questions to Ask

       DEDICATION

      To my parents, Doyle and Bonnie Ross, for putting up with five boys and showing us what family is really about; my husband, Mat, for the love and support you’ve given me throughout this adventure; Stephanie and Josh for helping us start a family of our own and our son, Connor, for giving me inspiration and motivation in life.

      Also, I want to thank everyone who shared their personal stories, experiences and advice with me. Without all of you, this book would not have been possible.

       Foreword

       by Melissa Gilbert

      New York Times best-selling author, wife, mother, actor and activist

      Several years ago, I found myself reliving key moments of my life as I started to piece together stories for my memoir. As with most people in the world, my life has been filled with plenty of ups and downs. Through it all, the one thing that stood out to me was the reoccurring theme of family. And when I say family, I don’t just mean the nuclear type with a mom, a dad, two-and-a-half kids and a white picket fence. I mean the kind of family built on love, where people are there for each other through thick and thin no matter what happens in life.

      This theme dates back to my father, who was an only child and lived with his parents in Philadelphia before being sent away when he was about eight or nine years old. He went to live with a family of circus performers and learned how to be an aerialist like his mother. After both of his parents died when he was just a teenager, he wound up traveling in a circus with his surrogate family.

      As for me, I was adopted when I was just a few days old and