The Difficult Mother-Daughter Relationship Journal. Karen C.L. Anderson

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The Difficult Mother-Daughter Relationship Journal - Karen C.L. Anderson


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      Copyright © 2020 Karen C.L. Anderson

      Published by Mango Publishing Group, a division of Mango Media Inc.

      All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form without permission in writing from the author. Reviewers may quote brief passages in reviews.

      Cover Design: Elina Diaz

      Layout & Design: Elina Diaz

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      Disclaimer: The author is not a licensed professional. This book details the author’s personal experience and opinions. Among other things, it includes the author’s reactions and memories. The author acknowledges others may remember or have experienced certain situations she recounts in this book differently than she does.

      For permission requests, please contact the publisher at:

      Mango Publishing Group

      2850 S Douglas Road, 2nd Floor

      Coral Gables, FL 33134 USA

      [email protected]

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      The Difficult Mother-Daughter Relationship Journal: A Guide For Revealing & Healing Toxic Generational Patterns

      Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication number: 2019948632

      ISBN: (print) 9781642501308, (ebook) 978-1-64250-131-5

      BISAC category code: FAM033000—FAMILY & RELATIONSHIPS / Parenting / Parent & Adult Child

      Printed in the United States of America

      This book is dedicated to women in all their glorious forms and to painful generational patterns that want to be healed.

      It is dedicated to all the women who have come before us, who sacrificed their spirits and their dreams because the world didn’t value them as they were and as they wished to be.

      It is dedicated to the fierce, wild, liberated women who will come after us.

      “All the eggs a woman will ever carry form in her ovaries while she is a four-month-old fetus in the womb of her mother. This means our cellular life as an egg begins in the womb of our grandmother. Each of us spent five months in our grandmother’s womb, and she in turn formed in the womb of her grandmother. We vibrate to the rhythm of our mother’s blood before she herself is born, and this pulse is the thread of blood that runs all the way back through the grandmothers to the first mother.”

      —Layne Redmond, When the Drummers Were Women

      Table of Contents

      Preface

      Introduction

      Answers

      Guidelines

      Intend

      Reveal

      Awareness

      Notice

      Feel

      Tend

      Retell

      Betray

      Delve

      Separate

      Limit

      The Anatomy of a Healthy Boundary

      Break

      Need

      Heal

      Reconnect (or Not)

      Revisit

      Practice

      Recommended Reading & Other Resources

      Acknowledgments

      About the Author

      Thank You

      Christmas Day, 2018

      On a day that would normally be filled with busyness and family, my husband was in bed with what we thought was the flu (it wasn’t…and he’s fine) and I was zoning out on Facebook.

      A message request came through from a woman who wrote, “Have you ever thought of writing a book called Great Mothers, Difficult Adult Daughters? I feel there is just far too much mother blaming and mother shaming in this world today.”

      (She was reacting to the title of my previous book, Difficult Mothers, Adult Daughters: A Guide For Separation, Liberation & Inspiration.)

      She had a few other choice words and an accusation: “You are preying on vulnerable adult daughters who aren’t taking responsibility for their appalling behavior to their mothers who love them unconditionally, who gave their all for their beloved daughters.”

      I noticed feelings arise in me. Defensiveness, anger…fear, even. A weight on my solar plexus. I also rolled my eyes.

      I took a deep breath and responded. Kindly but honestly. I expressed that my work isn’t about blame or fault for mothers or daughters. It’s about taking responsibility for oneself.

      She had more accusations.

      I responded with a recommendation: Dr. Joshua Coleman is an expert on family estrangement and is the author of When Parents Hurt.

      “He’s


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