Preface

      Soul mates. Even the words conjure up images of romance, candlelit evenings, laughter, moonlit walks, passionate embraces, unconditional love, and coming together as one. Such a relationship has often been perceived as one’s “other half” who longs only to cling to oneself. It has been described as divine love made manifest in the earth. It is an individual’s twin, a physical embodiment of one’s spiritual complement. A soul mate relationship is the ultimate connection with another human being. It is the ideal union, portrayed to us by our peers, our parents, our teachers, our hopes, our stories, and our legends. It is a bond in which dreams are realized and one’s selfhood is encouraged to blossom and grow—cultivated by the one we call “soul mate.”

      Who doesn’t desire such a relationship?

      For some, a soul mate relationship is one in which there are no challenges, no conflicts, no strife, only the opportunity to explore one another as equals, sharing joys, consoling sorrows, and being indivisible when united as one. Others, perhaps more realistic, see such a relationship not so much as an immediate reality but rather as a goal toward which they can grow. Regardless of whether it is seen as something created or something destined from birth, most individuals perceive a soul mate relationship as being preferable to “just a relationship.” It is somehow superior to what others have settled for—oftentimes, even better than the kind of relationship in which an individual may currently be involved. After all, if more people had truly found their soul mates, wouldn’t far less than half of all marriages end in divorce?

      Just what is a soul mate? Where did the idea originate and why are we so fascinated by the topic? Although I had heard of the concept of soul mates previously, the first real discussion I had about the subject was nearly twenty years ago. At the time, a dear friend of mine surprised me with the news that she was divorcing her husband because she had found her “true soul mate.” A beautiful woman, wife, and mother of two children, she confided to me that she didn’t feel complete with her husband. For years, she had felt as if a piece of herself were missing. She was convinced that, at last, she had found her other half. Although not wanting to appear cynical, I couldn’t help but think she had once felt the very same way about her husband, whom she was now divorcing. Maybe there was more going on in her situation than either of us was aware.

      I remember wondering aloud whether or not there couldn’t be more than one soul mate for each individual? If so, couldn’t her husband be one of these, as well? If each of us only had one soul partner, what were the odds of ever finding one another in the first place? In the face of such an enormous planetary population, the prospect didn’t appear very promising.

      In the end, my friend followed through on her desire to leave her husband. The attraction she had toward this “soul mate” was overpowering. She divorced her husband, began the new relationship, and eventually moved to another state. Unfortunately, her “other half” relationship was not long in duration. In spite of the undeniable attraction between the two, troubles began almost immediately and her soul mate relationship came to an end within six months.

      Since that time, the idea of every person possessing at least one soul mate somewhere in the world has grown in Western culture. Bestselling books by many individuals including Jess Stearn, Brian Weiss, Shirley MacLaine, Richard Bach, and Thomas Moore have gained widespread attention. Perhaps the notion of soul mates is inextricably linked to the concept of reincarnation,