Polonius. Victor Cilinca
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POLONIUS
A POLITICAL FARCE
IN TWO ACTS
VICTOR CILINCĂ
Translated by Petru Iamandi & Richard Wright
First performed at Teatrul Dramatic,
Galaţi, Romania, on February 10, 1996
Copyright Information
Copyright © 1996 by Victor Cilincă
English language version Copyright © 2000 by Petru Iamandi
and Richard Wright
Published by Wildside Press LLC
www.wildsidebooks.com
DEDICATION
For My Mother
CAST OF CHARACTERS
POLONIUS, Chamberlain at the Court of Elsinore
FREEMAN, A man at a loose end, revolutionary by profession
DAISY, Chief housekeeper, Polonius’ right hand
YORICK II, Official fool
BOOGEYMAN, Actor and smuggler
QUEEN, Actor, former hairdresser
KING, Actor, former actor
GUARD, Member of the Elsinore militia, at Polonius’ beck and call
SCENERY
The main piece of scenery is a huge wooden staircase climbing up to a wooden platform on which the three actors (King, Queen, and Boogeyman) will play, with their backs to the audience, facing a spot which cannot be seen for the semi-darkness of the background (or for the blinding lime lights in the background). The platform, supported by thick square pillars, can provide the room for the duellists in the final scene. Halfway through the second act, the pillars in the background can make a guillotine or its shadow and, in the final scene, a flag slide along them.
From the platform, the staircase climbs on to the footbridge. A straight curtain, fastened with a bar, can fall in the middle of this segment of the staircase, giving the illusion of a stage. From somewhere under the platform, at a certain height, hang three cardboard crowns, different in model and size. At the end of the play, a huge door will descend from above right in front of Polonius. Its handle is so high that Polonius will have to draw to his full length to reach it.
In front of the staircase, through the first trap door, there is another staircase (only the end of its banisters can be seen) climbing down to the basement. A cellar trap door can be used instead of this staircase. At the beginning of the second act sheets and shirts hang from several lines.
Behind the staircase, there is a bare wall. Hanging from the wall there is a trough for washing; in front of it, there are several straw bales.
COSTUMES
Generally, in the refined style of the beginning of the twentieth century.
POLONIUS
When he climbs down, in a black swallow-tailed coat, a lackey’s yellow and black-striped vest, white shirt, black bowtie, a twentieth-century medal with a red ribbon. Informally, he wears a white, embroidered vest, white shirt and bowtie or black four-in-hand tie, fastened with a brooch. At his first appearance, he wears a long cloak with a Dracula collar.
FREEMAN
When he first enters he wears a visored conic Red Army cap, without the star, round Bakunin spectacles, a coat which covers his half naked body and is fastened with only one button, the others missing. His pants are rather short, with linen suspenders. Sandals, or Charlie Chaplin shoes. At the Court, during the second act, he wears the black uniform of the guards (baggy pants and jacket fastened by a belt), with an edging but without any marks, and no cap. A silk shirt, with a wide frill. At the end of the play, he wears Polonius’ swallow-tailed coat and under it the guard uniform, with a diagonal belt and the chamberlain’s medal. In the last scene, he wears his uniform.
DAISY
A soubrette’s costume, with a white apron and flounces on the shoulders. High-heeled, buttoned boots. A linen ribbon, black velvet dress, with soft, satin stripes. When in the servants’ company, she wears her black low-necked dress, a 1930 hat, long white gloves, a pearl necklace and a riding whip. In the second act, she decently gives up the pearls and the gloves for a long black knit shawl.
YORICK II
Fez with three tassels, straight jacket, flyer’s goggles.
KING
A cardboard crown, prisoner-striped leotard, cloak. When at Court, worker’s overalls. In the final scene, the guard uniform.
QUEEN
Striped leotard, crinoline frame, cardboard crown. Obviously artificial breasts and buttocks, brick-red, and fastened with suspenders and belts over the T-shirt. If possible, the actor should be bald and will greet the “audience” by taking off his wig.
BOOGEYMAN
Bowler hat, black leotard, two watches on each wrist, white leggings. Wide grotesque dark rings.
GUARD
Round cap, epaulettes, rather short tunic, belt with gun holster, diagonal belt. Baggy pants with wide edging; the uniform is brick-red or faded khaki.
ACT I
SCENE 1
KING, QUEEN and BOOGEYMAN face a background curtain. They start to act before an invisible audience heard only as a confused murmur.
BOOGEYMAN
We bow to Your Highnesses! (The three of them bow to the ground.) We’re here to show you a wonderful and terrible drama! We’re only telling you this from the very beginning so that you can get ready to cry properly. Our sad story is about three illustrious lives, dreadfully befallen by the same bleak misfortune. He (pointing to KING) is the King. A good king, for certain, like all leaders, as long as they are at the helm, sword in hand, with a sharp ear. Before death, any sovereign is good enough for his subjects to dedicate odes to. She (pointing to QUEEN) is the Queen—in our story! (Lewdly) A very good queen. Queens matter less, so long as kings are legitimate. I am Boogeyman. They needed an icon, a nemesis, an Evil one. Yet I, Boogeyman, am on very friendly terms with Their Highnesses. He is like a brother to me, and she is...well...close. These two are—everybody knows....
QUEEN
One soul!
KING
One life!
BOOGEYMAN
One bed....
KING
The King is brave, and the country civil. Have you seen, perchance, our latest oak gallows? The King and the Queen are sitting in the green garden.
BOOGEYMAN
They don’t give a damn!
QUEEN
She is hardworking, young, and faithful....
BOOGEYMAN
And the two of them have only one prince, who’s proud of everything. They are happy, sitting in the green garden.
KING
The subjects are content. Though taxes have increased, the first family in the kingdom has also increased in number and need. And they’re all sitting in the green garden.
BOOGEYMAN
Is that so! Does that mean that I, the Queen’s closest friend, like a brother to the King, should let the grass grow under my feet, watching them idle on the green lawn while their poor subjects toil? No, the demon of passion rules me! The Queen is still young, the country is rich, and the riches are waiting only to be collected. The country is wonderful—it has so many fine (looking at the Queen) shapes. The country would be more content to have