Ultimate, Pregnancy, Birth and Parenting Guide. Lilian Paramor
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Sister Lilian
Ultimate
Pregnancy,
Birth and
Parenting
Guide
Human & Rousseau
The layout in this digital edition of Ultimate Pregnancy, Birth and Parenting Guide may differ from that of the printed version, depending on the settings on your reader. The layout displays optimally if you use the default setting on your reader. Readers can experiment with the settings to have the text displayed differently.
While every attempt has been made to ensure the procedures and medications recommended in this book are reliable and safe, the author and publishers cannot accept any responsibility for any damage that may occur as a result of following the author’s advice. In addition, the recommendations are not intended to replace regular visits to healthcare professionals.
Introduction
A calm, confident mother makes a happy home.
One of my “mothering mantras” is that it’s ultra-important to let go of mental and emotional clutter so that you can be fully relaxed as you go through pregnancy, experience birth and raise your babies. The other is that simple steps have profoundly positive effects. You have the right to a good mothering experience, Mom (and Dad to a good fathering one).
This guide offers you what I believe to be the truly essential information, perspectives and tips to assist you along the way. You may think you need a massive manual, but in fact the knowledge and instincts are within you. I see my role as being the facilitator to help you unlock your innate abilities and intuition. The guide also includes the essence of pregnancy, birth and childrearing, because they are all vital, integral links of the chain we call parenting. There is a cascade effect between each phase, and for the best experience it’s good to start at the beginning.
Of course, every parent encounters challenges; some smaller, some huge. Parenting is the great leveller. Remember, though, every difficult day will pass and every moment of sunshine will live on in your family memory bank forever. Keep centred, trust Mother Nature, stay positive and take each and every mini moment as it comes.
Every mother, father, baby and child I have ever encountered on my life and career path lives in the pages of this guide, and I dedicate it to you all.
My very best wishes for your personal parenting journey!
Sister Lilian
SECTION 1: Pregnancy
CHAPTER 1: ARE YOU READY FOR PREGNANCY?
CHAPTER 2: YOUR BABY’S PRE-BIRTH DEVELOPMENT
CHAPTER 3: PREGNANCY PANTRY
CHAPTER 4: EXERCISE WHEN EXPECTING
CHAPTER 6: SKIN HEALTH, BEAUTY AND CONCERNS IN PREGNANCY
CHAPTER 7: EXPECTANT HEALTH
CHAPTER 8: THE SERIOUS SIDE
CHAPTER 9: PRACTICAL MATTERS
CHAPTER 10: PREGNANCY FROM A FATHER-TO-BE’S PERSPECTIVE
CHAPTER 11: A MEDLEY OF IMPORTANT AND INTERESTING PREGNANCY TOPICS
CHAPTER 1
Are you ready for pregnancy?
Increasingly women and their partners are realising that preparing for conception, pregnancy and parenthood is the very best form of preventative health and wellbeing.
THE PHYSICAL AND EMOTIONAL BASICS
In a nutshell, you shouldn’t take any chances when it comes to what you can control – after all, you’re growing a whole new life! For the best possible outcome, there are three basics to think of:
1.You need a healthy body
For the best pregnancy you ideally need to invest time and effort to attain glowing health before you conceive. A healthy, active lifestyle before, during and after pregnancy will make your whole experience better and easier. Nutrition is truly fundamental to wellbeing. It’s simply not good enough to continually compromise on what and how you eat in pregnancy, as you are now growing a baby. Your pregnancy wellbeing is also directly related to your diet. In addition, understanding the cause of niggles and discomforts and the best, natural ways to relieve them, will make your pregnancy so much easier.
2.You need a healthy mind
While you might find it easy to conceive, be mindful of your reasons for wanting a child and the responsibility awaiting you. Pregnancy is a special window of opportunity to develop your emotional resources, and the impact will be felt for generations to come. Optimism and consideration of people and the planet are just as important.
3.You need a healthy relationship
Babies don’t save marriages and life partnerships, yet it is amazing how often couples in an ailing relationship pin their hopes for family happiness on having a child. Yes, children can bring out the best in you but having a child will seldom heal a deep rift permanently. Before you embark on the road to parenthood, be honest with yourself – are any problems you and your partner are experiencing deep and longstanding, is there mutual respect, do you enjoy a wide variety of similar interests and friendships, and do you support each other in your personal ambitions?
IS AGE A FACTOR TO CONSIDER?
There are advantages and disadvantages to all possible ages and circumstances to consider when planning for a baby. It is a very personal decision but one worth investing time and energy in making. Here are some pointers to bear in mind:
•Emotionally one is more mature and able to deal more easily with the ups and downs of parenting at a slightly older age, though one is more young-at-heart and optimistic when younger.
•Patience, resolve and tenacity are virtues that are required for parenting and may be lacking in younger parents, though they may have the important ability to be playful.
•Financial concerns are often substantially less when older – it’s not that having a child has to cost so much, but rather the extra strain money worries bring to families. However, wealth does not guarantee a happy home.
•Older parents may have become so used to their independence that being on 24-hour call might be quite challenging, while younger parents might take this in their stride because they are often more flexible.
•While older parents have the benefit of having had a taste of the big, wide world, younger parents will still be able to enjoy this “selfish” phase when their children have flown the nest.
ARE YOU READY FOR BABY NUMBER TWO?
Deciding when to introduce a new baby to the family is a very personal decision, but here are three things you should take into consideration:
1.Age gaps
There’s no “correct” age gap between children – there are advantages and disadvantages to both small and large gaps. A large gap will mean that all the hard work that comes with having a small baby will start all over again, but it can be easier on Mom. A gap of less than two years brings with it a phase of intense work and you’ll need plenty of support, but then you get all the “baby stuff” over and done with fairly quickly.
2.Individual circumstances
Of course, you’ll need to assess whether you can afford another child and the time away from work. Also, if your firstborn has health or behaviour problems, the strain of having children close in age could be greater.
3. Practical issues
It’s generally easier to raise two children, as they’ll quite soon entertain each other, giving