Chapter Twelve

      Lucy rolled over, draping her arm across a bare, male chest. She smiled as she snuggled in closer and—

      Wait. A male chest?

      Her eyes flew open and everything came flooding back to her. She and Noah had… Yeah. Twice. Her body still tingled and she was sore in places she’d forgotten existed.

      The bright sunshine in the room flooded through the curtains. She was used to her bedroom with the blackout curtains. She was also used to sleeping alone.

      Lucy eased away from Noah and waited for the regret to settle in. There was no regret over what they’d done, but there was certainly a thin layer of guilt. That was to be expected, right? She’d studied grief for so long, had lived with it even longer, so she knew every emotion was normal, because everyone’s journey was different.

      Swinging her legs over the side of the bed, Lucy tried to figure out what she’d say to him when he woke. How did they move forward? Because even before she was ever married, sex wasn’t something she took lightly. She needed to have a deeper connection to someone before she went to bed with him. At this point, Lucy wasn’t sure how to act with Noah. They were coworkers; they had agreed to be friends.

      “I assume you’re analyzing everything and trying to figure out what’s next.”

      At the sound of his voice Lucy glanced back over her shoulder. Noah lay on his back, his hands beneath his head as he stared up at the ceiling.

      “Aren’t you?” she asked.

      His eyes darted her way. “No. We had sex.”

      “Twice.”

      “And now we’re going to be friends and go back to work.”

      His matter-of-fact tone sounded so cold. Why did he have to be so standoffish? That was not the man who’d touched her so lovingly hours ago.

      Suddenly feeling too exposed, Lucy jerked the comforter off the bed and wrapped it around herself before she came to her feet and turned to face him. The sheet lay across his waist, exposing his chiseled abs and chest. There was nothing about Noah that didn’t attract her…until now with this attitude.

      “I think you need to go.”

      Noah sat up and raked his hands through his hair. “Don’t try to get into my head, Lucy. We went into this knowing exactly what was going to happen.”

      True, but that didn’t mean she could control how she felt.

      Lucy wrapped the bulky blanket tighter around her and refused to allow that burn in her throat to turn to tears.

      “I need to get in the shower,” she told him. “You can lock the door behind you.”

      Lucy turned toward her bathroom, her heart in her throat. She just wanted to get in there before she burst into tears.

      “Give me time, Lucy.”

      Noah’s voice, full of agony, stopped her in the doorway. She gripped the frame with one hand while clutching the comforter between her breasts with the other.

      “I wasn’t expecting this,” he went on. “Wasn’t expecting you. I’m not ready.”

      Her heart clenched at the tortured tone of his voice. “I wasn’t ready, either,” she admitted. “But here we are.”

      Lucy shifted just enough to meet his gaze across the room. The hurt in his eyes seemed to match her own.

      “You came to me,” she reminded him. “You followed me home, all because you didn’t like the idea of me with someone else. That should tell you that you’re more ready than you thought.”

      Noah remained silent, his lips thinned.

      “I didn’t ask for you to come to my bed,” she went on. “I only wanted to see where this attraction led.”

      “I didn’t plan on being here,” he told her. “I admit I was jealous. So jealous that I had to face the fact that I wanted you.”

      Pain squeezed her chest like a vise. “And now? You’ve had me. Do you feel like you’ve claimed me or conquered the fear you had?”

      Noah jumped off the bed, crossed the room just as naked as you please, and gripped her shoulders. She twisted to try to get out of his hold, but he forced her to face him.

      “I didn’t claim you,” he demanded. “Why do you think I left that meeting the first night I was there?”

      Lucy quit struggling. “Because you didn’t want to face your grief.”

      “That’s only part of the reason,” he declared, his eyes darting to her lips. “I had an instant attraction to you and it scared the hell out of me. I had to get out. Then you followed me.”

      He gripped her tighter as he pulled her flush with his body. “Damn it, Lucy. I’m not sorry one bit that we slept together. I just wish like hell I knew how to treat you right now.”

      She wanted to be angry with him for being so cold to her, but she recognized his earlier words and actions as a defense mechanism. She could hardly blame him. They were both new to intimacy after such a tragic loss and he was standing here baring his soul to her.

      “Being honest is a good start,” she told him, reaching up to cup his cheek. “You don’t have to pretend with me. If you need space, take it, but don’t push me away and lie to me.”

      Noah closed his eyes and leaned his forehead against hers. “I want to leave so I can think about all of this and how fast we’re moving.”

      “But?”

      He nipped at her lips. “But I want to stay and touch you. I want to back you into that bathroom and take a shower with you.”

      Lucy’s entire body tingled because she knew exactly what he could do to pleasure her. She opened the comforter and dropped it to a puddle at her feet.

      “Follow me.”