CHAPTER ONE

      FIGHTING back tears, Sarah watched the tall figure below her limp awkwardly down the steps. John Erskine Dane. Jed. Her husband. There would be a look of determination on his face, a grim fierceness not to give in to the pain in his leg; the weakness. How far would he get today? To the crossroads?

      I love him, she thought. I love him so much it hurts—but loving him didn’t take away the pain of what had happened, the anguish. She didn’t blame him for the way he was behaving, of course she didn’t. None of it had been his fault. Tomorrow would be better, she promised herself. Tomorrow. Or the day after. And then everything would be all right.

      As he disappeared from view, she stared out over the lake. Loch, she mentally corrected. Rain pitted the pewter surface, dripping forlornly off the naked trees. Be patient, the doctor had said. But it was six weeks now, nearly seven, and still the tears kept coming. No warning, no control, just suddenly tears, and that tight ache in her chest. Perhaps they should have returned to Bavaria to be with their friends, but she had thought it would be so hard to weather the sympathy, the kindness. She knew no one here, and no one knew her, or what had happened. They knew Jed, of course. He’d spent part of his childhood here.

      ‘Will you be wanting anything else, Mrs Dane?’

      The soft Scottish burr took her by surprise, and Sarah gave a little start. Refusing to turn, she shook her head. ‘No, thank you, Mrs Reeves.’

      ‘I’ll be away, then.’

      ‘Yes.’

      Sarah heard the door close and then resumed her contemplation of the loch. No monsters in this one. All the monsters were in her head. And if she didn’t pull herself together soon…Mrs Reeves probably thought she was a pale, weepy little thing; and felt sorry for Jed for having such a wife. Sarah wanted to tell her that she wasn’t really like this, but words seemed to have gone the way of her wits.

      There would be other babies she tried to tell herself. Next time would be all right—but how could there be a next time when her husband slept in a separate room? How could there be a next time when he couldn’t seem to even bring himself to talk to her? Hold her? Kiss her? All the warmth and laughter seemed to belong to another life. And yet, she could remember how she had been. She could see herself so clearly: laughing, happy, confident. Young? Immature? she wondered. Perhaps, but for all her slenderness, her seeming fragility, she had always been so strong. Her light brown hair had curled enticingly round her small face, deep brown eyes always so full of mischief. She had always known what she wanted—and she had wanted Jed. Not in a dark, calculating sort of way. She hadn’t set out to woo him, trap him, but from the first moment she had seen him awareness had sprung between them, tension.

      With three months left of the year she had taken off after gaining her degree, she had visited all the places she had so long wanted to see. With the funds generously given by her grandmother, she’d visited North America, the Far East, China, Columbia, Australia, and then returned to Europe. With her brown hair lightened almost to fair by the Antipodean sun; her skin tanned to gold, she’d flown into Bavaria—and found Jed.

      ‘I’ve won a what?’

      ‘Balloon trip.’

      ‘Balloon trip?’

      ‘Mmm-hmm.’ The young man smiled at her, his blue eyes amused. ‘Ready?’

      ‘Ready?’ she echoed. ‘What, now?’

      ‘Certainly now.’

      ‘But I’ve only just arrived!’

      ‘I know.’ Taking her knapsack, he walked towards a blue Land Rover with the picture of a balloon on the side. A bemused Sarah slowly followed, and then burst out laughing. This was crazy!

      ‘Nervous?’ he asked as he helped her into the vehicle.

      ‘No,’ she denied. ‘Bewildered, astonished, flabbergasted…And how on earth do I know you’re who you say you are?’

      ‘Because in a moment you will see the field, and the balloon and all the people.’ He grinned, put the car in gear and drove off. Five minutes later he pulled into the field.

      ‘You can leave your kit in the car; it’s the support vehicle.’

      Meaning,