Her Forgotten Cowboy. Deb Kastner
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the three of them stood in front of the house without speaking, watching Mackenzie play with the herd of goats.
Rebecca looked around wide-eyed, her expression filled with almost childlike wonder as she took in the scene—Mackenzie playing with the goats, and the chickens clucking in their coop, reminding Tanner that they hadn’t yet gotten their midday meal. Tanner’s small herd of horses milled about in a nearby pasture, and another small pasture on the other side of the ranch house contained Rebecca’s most beloved small herd of alpacas.
After visiting a wool festival and getting to meet live alpacas, she had gotten this crazy idea into her head that she wanted alpacas of her own. She’d done her research and then presented her idea to Tanner. He’d never been able to deny her anything, so before he knew it, they were proud owners of a half-dozen alpacas, which she’d carefully grown in numbers. Rebecca would gather their wool and spin it, often spending her evenings knitting by the fire in the winter and out on the front porch in the spring and on mild summer nights.
He watched her expression when her gaze landed on the alpacas, feeling as if his heart stopped beating as he waited and hoped for even the smallest sign of recognition. But to his surprise, her face tightened with strain. Her lips pressed together tightly and her brow furrowed over her nose. She brushed her hair back, only to have the locks fall forward again a moment later.
Peggy’s gaze met Tanner’s and she gave him a brief nod. She’d noticed Rebecca’s odd reaction, too.
“Let’s go inside and get comfortable, and then we can chat,” Peggy suggested airily, as if they had invited a good friend over—a guest, and not her daughter and his wife. “Rebecca, do you prefer coffee or tea?”
Coffee, Tanner thought. He used to tease her that she liked a little coffee with her cream and sugar.
Rebecca’s gaze shifted to Tanner and then back to Peggy.
“I—I don’t know.”
“Coffee it is, then,” Tanner said, jumping in to relieve Rebecca’s discomfiture. “Don’t worry. I know just how you like it.”
Rebecca nodded, her copper eyes turning glassy with tears.
Tanner’s chest tightened. What had he said that would make her start crying? They were talking about coffee, not their breakup. Her tears had always had a way of punching him right in the gut, and despite the time and distance that had been between them, that much hadn’t changed.
He was only trying to help, but he’d somehow made things worse.
Over coffee.
Peggy and Rebecca settled in the living room and Mackenzie dug into her toy box in the corner. She’d quickly warmed up to Rebecca and was now showing Auntie Rebecca this and that, chattering about her favorite toys while Tanner made coffee in the kitchen.
Rebecca dutifully exclaimed in delight as Mackenzie exhibited her very favorite doll.
The tension, which seemed to have eased somewhat when Tanner was watching from the kitchen, immediately rematerialized the moment Tanner entered the room.
“Here,” he said, offering a mug to Rebecca. “Taste it and see what you think.”
Rebecca sipped at the coffee, which was a light mocha color due to all the cream and sugar Tanner had dumped into it. Her expression relaxed.
“This is really good. Thank you.”
Tanner let out a breath he hadn’t even realized he’d been holding. Everything else in their lives had changed, and he hadn’t been positive that wouldn’t have included Rebecca’s taste in coffee, as well.
Did amnesia even work that way?
He really was clueless, and didn’t have the slightest idea where to start.
He looked around, wondering where to sit. Rebecca was seated at one end of the couch, while Peggy was in her usual spot in the only armchair. That left him with the choice of awkwardly sitting on the other side of the couch or choosing the rocking chair, which had been a favorite of Rebecca’s when she was knitting mittens and hats from alpaca wool. He’d only started using the rocker recently, when he needed to calm Mackenzie down from an anxiety attack or rock her to sleep.
He and Rebecca had bought that rocking chair when they’d first started trying for a family, certain they’d be using it to rock their newborn within the year. How young and naive they’d been back then. Tanner never would have guessed that the desire to start a family could also ruin one.
When month after month the negative pregnancy tests taunted them, Tanner had subconsciously grown to despise that piece of furniture as a constant reminder of what had never been. And then after the stillbirth—
But at the moment, it was either the rocker or the couch, and he knew he would never be comfortable sitting right next to Rebecca. He settled in the rocker and took a sip of his coffee, welcoming the scald of hot liquid as it burned down his throat.
All three of them were looking at each other, but no one spoke. The tension and uneasiness was so palpable he could have sliced it.
How did one even start a conversation like this?
“So, Rebecca,” Peggy said tentatively, relieving Tanner of having to be the first to speak. “Why don’t you tell us what you remember.”
* * *
What did she remember?
A big, fat nothing.
It was all she could do to remember what she’d had for breakfast this morning, although in the past month her short-term memory had made significant gains. It was impossible to describe how lost she felt. It was almost like someone coming out of a coma of many years and finding her life to be completely different than she recalled. She remembered her childhood up to a certain point and then there was nothing but a big, fat murky cloud shadowing her memories.
She’d returned to Serendipity in the hopes that seeing what ought to be familiar people and places would trigger her memory, but all she was getting was a throbbing headache for all her efforts.
She pulled out her cell phone and opened her notes.
“My friend Dawn helped me with this,” she explained. She didn’t miss the resentful look that passed between Tanner and her mother. Neither appeared happy with the knowledge that the notes she was consulting came from Dawn.
Why was that?
“Is that who you’ve been staying with? Dawn Kyzer?” Mama asked, with a surprising edge to her tone that hadn’t been there before.
Rebecca was startled by their negative reaction and responded a little defensively. Dawn had been her best friend all her life. She remembered that. Which meant her mother would have known that, as well. And though she didn’t know the reasons behind the choices she’d made, she’d clearly gone to live with Dawn after her breakup with Tanner.
“I was driving, but Dawn was in the car with me when the accident happened. Thankfully, she only received a few bumps and bruises. She stayed by my side in the hospital and has cared for me ever since.”
“Then we owe her for that,” her mother acknowledged begrudgingly. “Although she should have called us and let us know what had happened.”
Tanner didn’t respond, but it was clear he didn’t like Dawn. Rebecca searched her mind for why that might be, but no explanation came to her.
She was an amnesiac, but that didn’t mean she was stupid. Dawn had obviously refused to come with her to Serendipity today, and now Rebecca could see why. There was some kind of rift between her husband and best friend, and she suspected she was the root cause of it. And her mother was right—Dawn should have reached out and let them know Rebecca had been in an accident instead of telling the hospital she was the only person Rebecca had.
Rebecca watched as Mackenzie carefully and methodically set up an entire ranch scene of stuffed animals,