The History of almost Everything. Practical guide of the eaters of Time. Lim Word

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The History of almost Everything. Practical guide of the eaters of Time - Lim Word


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Reflected the invasion of the Crimean Khan Mehmet Giray First. Confidential, almost friendly, diplomatic and trade relations are established with the powerful Crimean Khanate. The wars with the Grand Duchy of Lithuania (in which, for their part, as the allies of Russia, the omnivorous Crimean Tatars are taking part) are bursting and extinguishing, there will be marches on Smolensk (then – the Lithuanian principality), Novgorod, Kazan and Pskov. Son, Basil the Third in the contract with the Holy Roman Emperor, perhaps with the support of his mother, Sophia from the Byzantine dynasty of Paleologes, is for the first time called Caesar (king). In a marriage with Elena Glinskaya, daughter of the Lithuanian prince (who leads the genus from Mamaia’s temnik), Yuri and Ivan, the future Grozny, are born.

      A week after the death of Basil the Great, the boyars kill Yuri, the main pretender to the throne. Five years later, possibly from the Shuisky poison, the mother who has taken over the reins dies. Another eleven years of board of trusteeship council, and Ivan the Fourth (1530—1584) is crowned on the kingdom in the Assumption Cathedral. The era of princes, equal in the European table of ranks only to princes and dukes, as a whole is completed. The title is recognized by England and the Holy Roman Emperor, but is rejected by the Vatican, who in the thirteenth century appropriated the title «Rex Russiae» to the prince of the lands of Southern Rus Daniil Galitsky, with the condition of spreading Catholicism. The dynasty in the South is not developed. Relations with the Pope are broken.

      Further events:

      …Taking Kazan, the destruction of the capital of the Golden Horde, located eighty kilometers from Astrakhan, Saray-Berke. The beginning of the mental degradation of the king, perhaps under the influence of doses of mercury, oprichnina and terror, over the course of forty years eight thousand people were killed (comparatively little for that epoch, according to European standards).

      The second half of the sixteenth century. Invasion of the troops of the Crimean Khan Devlet Giray. Before that, in alliance with the Turkish sultan, the Tatars conquer the Genoese colony, the Feodoro mountain principality on the western coast of the peninsula, populated by 200,000 Christians, and now the khanate is ready for long-range raids. Burning suburbs and the capital, except for the Kremlin and China-city. A year later, the second campaign, the Battle of Molody, a hundred and fifty kilometers south of Moscow – a catastrophic frontal attack on the Russian «Gulyai-city» («Walking city») made up of wagons reinforced with wooden shields. The extermination of the 120,000-strong Turkish-Tatar army leads to the fact that the Crimean Khanate loses most of the male population, for a while becomes relatively peaceful. However, the Russian state still has to pay him a «wake», a tribute, that is, after all, probably a tribute, until the era of Peter the Great.

      Destruction of the oprichnina, which was not justified in its struggle against external enemies. The capture of Isker, the capital of the Siberian Khanate, in alliance with Ermak, the entry of the remains of the ulus Juchi into Rus. The capture of Polotsk and (before that of Smolensk), while it goes without saying that life under the rule of an unbalanced tsar as a whole does not become better, creates a threat to the Lithuanian Grand Duchy, determines not very convenient consequences: the practical creation of a union state – Polish-Lithuanian (partially – ethnically Ukrainian) of Rzeczpospolita.

      The King of Poland, the prince of Lithuania, formally the vassal of the Ottoman Empire, Stefan Batory reclaims Polotsk, moves swiftly into the depths of Moscow Rus, but gets stuck in the siege of Pskov (1581—1582). About 16,000 defenders of the fortress are confronted by 50,000 besiegers. There is a fierce struggle – in the course of huge mobile tours, large-caliber artillery, digging and mines galleries. In the end, the Polish-Lithuanian-Swedish army loses 20 – 24 000 people, and removes the siege of the city (the Yam-Zapol Peace Treaty is signed).

      The last six years of life the king is not able to walk independently because of illness and moves on stretchers. Presumably, Ivan the Fourth «corrupted one thousand virgins and killed as many of his children» (from the words of the English ambassador Jerome Gorsay, with whom the king allegedly communicates) is treated for syphilis usual for the Middle Ages and the beginning of our days, with mercury ointments.

      By the way, the recipe is this. Mercury is mixed with animal fat, sulfur and rubbed into the legs. As an option, general mercury is carried out, placing the patient in a closed room, with a cup of heated mercury. If a person does not die (in 80% of cases) a positive result is shown. Mercury is an antiseptic, and the causative agent of the disease, treptoneema, is very sensitive to it.

      Historians do not recognize the «New Chronology» shamelessly shortening the dynasty, sometimes to a single ruler, bringing historical dates closer to the present, so that the building of the Moscow Kremlin is attributed almost to Stalin. But, you can notice an extraordinary similarity in the reign of Ivan the Third and his grandson. The campaign to Novgorod, Pskov, clashes with the troops of the khan and even the most patronymic, ideally coincide.

      People travel through the points of view of spiritual ancestors, the psychological Machine of Time acquires an unusual popularity, one should be prepared for such unexpected turns of the Chronology.

      Ivan the Terrible suddenly dies, on the throne, according to the decision of the Zemsky Sobor his middle son Fyodor, «a fast and silent, a saint on the throne», rises. He reigns for 14 years, establishes a great peace in the Russian land with his endless prayers, while his guardian, Boris Godunov, in fact is in charge. At forty years (1598), the king is represented, leaving no heirs (the only daughter dies in infancy) and, referring to the will of God, at least of any written will. Seven years earlier, as a result of an accident, the youngest son of Grozny died from a seventh marriage, not consecrated by the church, in fact, illegitimate, and not having rights to the throne, Prince Dmitry. Would he be a good king, turn a knife in his hands, during an epileptic attack otherwise? Unknown. According to the testimony of a foreign traveler D. Fletcher, he liked to beat a gob of geese and chickens until they were exhausted, he found pleasure in watching how cattle were slaughtered. However, anyway, Dmitry Ioannovich canonized by the ROC (the patient who touched the sarcophagus died, since then access to the relics has been discontinued). The dynasty of the main, Moscow branch of the Rurik, is interrupted. The wife of Tsar Feodor, Irina – Godunov’s sister, a week after the death of her husband announces the desire to get a haircut in a monastery and, indeed, leaves for Novodevichy, freeing the way to the throne to his brother. The beginning of the reign of Godunov is quite successful, however, the prayers of his predecessor seem to be lacking; in 1601—1603, after a lot of rains and early frosts that destroyed crops, a strong famine begins. The cost of grain grows a hundred times, but many household gentlemen, as well as monasteries, keep it in barns, expecting further price increases, and the tsar does not dare to order bread for sale. Dying to half a million people.

      In 1604, with a small detachment of Cossacks and Poles (about 14,000 people) begins a campaign from Poland to Moscow, False Dmitry First. The government army under the leadership of Vasily Shuisky, incl. three hundred guns with literate artillerymen, trained by alternating shooting archers, smash the army of the impostor. All is well, but next year, after a plentiful meal, the last time having examined Moscow from the tower, Godunov feels «faint», and «losing his tongue» dies. The king becomes a sixteen-year-old son Fyodor (Second), with the regency of his mother, Maria Godunova (Skuratova), by the way, the daughter of the attorney of Ivan the Fourth Grozny in all matters, Malyuta Skuratov. The Tsar does not have time to get married to the kingdom, part of the army takes the oath of allegiance to False Dmitry.

      The «elected tsar», ie, Godunov, and his successors, in the opinion of the Russian people, is not equal to the tsar «hereditary, ruler of God’s will, and not human will.» For this reason, as well as the fact that the tsarist troops unleashed cruel reprisals against the impostor’s supporters on the ground, Muscovites, in their mass, are opposed to a new, at least reasonable and kind ruler. After spending a month and a half Fyodor and Maria Godunova, they perish at the hands of traitors («the people are silent»). Patriarch Job, an ally of the failed dynasty, loses his rank,


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