The History of almost Everything. Practical guide of the eaters of Time. Lim Word

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The History of almost Everything. Practical guide of the eaters of Time - Lim Word


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the Crimean Khan, and began a siege. The famous «Azov Siege Seat» was distinguished by a remarkable balance of forces: 120,000 Ottomans and Tatars against 5,000 Cossacks. The besieged defended themselves with the greatest skill, destroying more than a third of the enemy’s troops, while losing three thousand. However, of course, they could not fight with all of Turkey and, in 1642, after the temporary withdrawal of the Turks, they left the fortress. The troops of the Don and Zaporozhye offered Azov under the rule of the Russian Tsar, but then, under Mikhail the First, the very beginning of the Romanov dynasty, Russia was not ready to accept such a dangerous gift.

      In the village of Preobrazhenskoye, on the banks of the Yauza River, not far from Moscow, all new large, transport and warships are being built in a wild hurry, being dismantled and transported to Voronezh, to the Don, where they meet again. The strength of the army reaches 70 thousand people. In May 1696 Azov was again besieged. In July, after massive shelling, the garrison surrenders, according to the pre-requisite, the Ottomans leave the city with families and movable property. Voevoda Shein becomes the first Russian generalissimo. According to the Constantinople Peace Treaty of 1700, Russia is officially released from paying tribute to the Crimean Khan, Azov and a number of adjacent territories are handed over to it. But, the main goal – access to the Black Sea, at least through the Kerch Strait, is still not achieved.

      In 1697, Peter, who a year ago became an autocratic king, for some informal communication presented as a «regent of the Preobrazhensky regiment,» travels to Europe. The goal of the «Grand Embassy» (about 60 people) is the acquisition of new allies in the struggle against Turkey, the purchase of tools, weapons, the hiring of masters. Often the king is ahead of the Embassy itself, in general, for this period of his rule there are many inconsistencies, as if Peter is at the same time in several places. At personal meetings with the English King Wilhelm the Third in Utrecht (Holland), the ruler of Austria Leopold the First, as well as with Newton, Leibniz, Leuvengueck, Halley (thus, in honor of which the comet was named), etc., «Secret». It comes to the point that some historians believe that Peter the Great at the Grand Embassy did not participate at all.

      Whatever it was, according to official history, it was not possible to reach an agreement with Austria and Holland about a sacred alliance against the Ottomans. Vienna even refused to recognize the transfer of Kerch and the corresponding strait to Russia, even if they were captured by it. General understanding and personal friendship of the young (25 years old) king are formed only with the king of the Polish-Lithuanian Commonwealth Augustus the Second, a contemporary, an ethnic Austrian – to elect his nominee for the Polish Sejm Peter at one time exerted certain efforts and resources.

      All kinds of herbariums, tools, ships, 15,000 small arms are purchased.

      In the summer of 1698, after the news of the rebellion of the streltsi, the tsar returns to Moscow. The rebellion had already been suppressed, the instigators were punished – the troops of Generalissimo Shein, almost one artillery was defeated by a squad of 2,200 people with archers. Tsarevna Sofya, the main reason for the rebellion, convinced that her brother was replaced, now becomes a full-fledged nun, and sent to the Novodevichy Convent, under guard. A few months before the windows of her cell are several executed archers. Manages reprisals, according to the definition of Prince B. Kurakin «… a kind of monster, the temper of an evil tyrant, the great unwillingness of good to anyone, drunk all the days,» the ruler of Russia in the absence of Peter, the prince-Caesar Fedor Romodanovsky (aka, the head of the Preobrazhensky search warrant). The Emperor, however, needs more sacrifices. Muscovites for the first time see the Russian Tsar in the guise of a cruel executioner. He not only personally kills the heads of the archers, but forces the boyars to do the same. Some insurgents lose their lives by the progressive «overseas» method – the wheel. A total of 2,000 people were executed, 600 minors were beaten with whips, branded and sent to Siberia. The Streltsy regiments who did not participate in the uprising were disbanded.

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      1. Fedor Yuryevich Romodanovsky (1640 – 1717), the prince-Caesar, the actual ruler of Russia during the foreign tour of Peter the Great. Rurikovich in the 23rd knee, according to the testimony of a completely independent contemporary: «the sight of a monster, drunk all the days, the greatest unwillingness of good to anyone.»

      2. Menshikov Alexander Danilovich (1673—1729) Count and even, by decree of Peter the Great, «Duke of Izhora». Origin – from the ruined Belarusian, or Lithuanian nobles. Batman, the right hand of the tsar, the actual ruler of Russia after the death of Peter the Great.

      3. Ivan Stepanovich Mazepa (1639—1709), hetman of the Zaporozhye Army on both sides of the Dnieper. Memorable, in particular, a love affair 65-year-old hetman and his 16-year-old godfather Matryona (Motry). The girl’s bloody father, Judge Kochubei, after this incident, begins sending allegations to Moscow. However, the unsuccessful bridegroom turns out this time the winner – for «slander» Peter the First Kochubei executes. The continuation of the novel and the fate of Motry is unknown.

      Moreover, historians are interested in the causes of Mazepa’s treason to the Russian Tsar. It all boils down to what Ivan Stepanovich himself utters; I will not swear an oath, «Until I see that the king’s majesty can not protect not only Ukraine, but all of its state from the Swedish potency.» In fact, Carl had by then disposed of Poland (the main offender of ethnic Ukraine), like a cook with potatoes, Peter in every possible way evaded an open battle. And, only Poltava put everything in its place.

      It should be noted that, up to a relatively recent time, in the broadest layers of the population of Ukraine, Mazepa meant an abusive word, a synonym for the word «traitor», «sly», etc.

      4. Carl the Twelfth (1682 – 1718). A fan of wars, but not alcohol and women, which, perhaps, determines his failure as a European politician. In 1713, under the pressure of the Ottomans, the king leaves the camp in Bendery and goes to Sweden, where, in general, no one is particularly waiting. Not wishing to appear in Stockholm with disgrace, the king joins his troops in Norway and, at the siege of one of the fortresses, receiving a crazy bullet in the temple, perishes.

      …Then a significant number of Russians decide that Peter the First (or the one who became of them) is «the beast that emerged from the abyss», the Antichrist himself and Miroed.

      There are doubts about the origin of Peter and, in fact, the line of the Romanovs, (so to say, cruelty of morals and unbalanced psyche), so to speak, originally. The height of Peter the Great is 203 cm, and this is in the century when the average male is considered to be 160 cm, the size of the shoe is 38, the figure is 48. These parameters do not even approximate any of the supposed royal ancestors.

      …Confirmation of this opinion are regularly convened on the island in the middle of the Yauza «All-Comprehensive Cathedrals», where the parodies of Catholic and Orthodox rites are parodied. The naming of church rites, rituals, are altered using profanity. The «pontifex» chosen by the cathedral floats in a ladle in the middle of a vat of alcohol, and the participants, naked men and women of the highest boyar surnames, drink this wine and sing out obscene songs on the motif of church hymns.

      Reforms occur in the field of time. Thus, 7208 from the creation of the world (the Russian-Byzantine calendar) becomes the year 1700 according to the Julian calendar, in addition, the New Year is celebrated now not on the day of the autumnal equinox, on September 22—23 according to the new style, but on the first of January.

      Russia is part of the Northern Union, created on the initiative of the rulers of Saxony and


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