How to Speak So People Really Listen. Paul McGee
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to sit up, take notice and listen.
Here’s the deal:
Your ability to influence others, build your career, and achieve your personal goals is dependent on how effectively you communicate and engage with people.
Recently a colleague of mine was asked to sit on a panel that was responsible for awarding a £90,000 research grant spread over three years. All applicants were asked to present their case for why they should be awarded the grant. Ultimately, the £90,000 was given not to the best applicant on paper, but to the person who made the most persuasive presentation. Think about that for a moment.
Ninety thousand pounds.
That’s a lot of money to lose out on because you weren’t effective at communicating your message.
Trust me, this stuff really does matter. And it matters to you and your future success.
So make sure you never forget the following:
“Knowing the words to a song doesn’t make you a great singer. Neither does having expertise in a subject make you a great speaker.”
And here’s both a harsh and sad fact. Some people have values and views many would find offensive. But they get heard. They get noticed. Not simply because of what they believe, but because of how well they communicate their message. Criminals and politicians can manipulate minds because they’ve developed the skills of knowing how to persuade others. Yes, other factors and skills do come into play, but if they’re unable to communicate effectively their influence is weakened. Their voice is less likely to be heard.
Well, potentially you miss out on promotion, or the new job, or fail to secure some new business, and you do so not because the other person is better or more knowledgeable than you.
You lose out because they’ve mastered the ability to communicate more effectively and persuasively than you. They’ve learnt to sell themselves or their services in a better way than you have.
That’s the reality folks.
That’s why I believe developing your skill as a communicator is crucial. Master this skill and it will help get you noticed, get along better with others and get ahead in life. Fact.
You see, the harsh reality is that life isn’t fair. We don’t all start on a level playing field. But there is some good news. Where we finish can be influenced by a range of factors. And one of those factors is simply this:
Here’s the deal:
“Good people with a great message are not guaranteed a captive audience.”
Your ability to communicate effectively with others.
Thousands of people know this. That’s why so many politicians and leaders from all sectors want to develop their skills in this area, and are prepared to invest a considerable amount of time and effort to do so. I guess you’ve decided to do the same.
You’ve been prompted, for whatever reason, to read this book. Great. But make sure this is not a passive perusal through the following pages.
I want you to involve yourself as we explore a whole host of ideas and insights. How? Well, think of specific situations where you want to raise your game as a communicator. Perhaps it’s with a customer, a colleague or even one of your kids. It could be speaking to a large audience, leading a meeting or simply a conversation with one other person. Whatever the context, whatever the size of the audience, look for ideas and insights that will take your communication to a new level, and in doing so increase your influence and impact.
Oh, and here’s something to be aware of. The issue is not whether you’ve come across some of these ideas before. Neither is it a case of labelling what you read as ‘just common sense’. The question is: ‘so what are you doing with it?’ If you’re reading this book simply to acquire more knowledge, fine. I wish you well. People who accumulate lots of knowledge might do well in pub quizzes. They can sound impressive among their friends. But I hope you want to gain so much more. I hope you want to improve as a person, fulfil your potential and look back on your life with a sense of satisfaction and not regret. Trust me, the ideas in this book will help you – yes, even the simple ‘common sense’ ones.
However, here’s a point that’s worth remembering:
Everything is obvious in hindsight. But it will only seem obvious once you’ve read it.
And here’s another thing. Please don’t see this book as aimed purely at stimulating your intellect and helping you stock up on a range of academic theories. If that’s your only aim with reading this book, then trust me, you’ll be disappointed. You see, that’s not my style. Check out the subtitle on the cover.
The straight-talking guide
That’s what this will be. A guide to help you get better as a communicator, however experienced or inexperienced you currently are.
Here’s why I know this stuff works and am confident it will make a difference to you. If you use it, that is.
Let me take you back to April 1989. Yes, I know it’s possible you might not even have been born then.
Me? I was on invalidity benefit (now known as incapacity benefit).
When I could walk I had to use a walking stick. But the majority of the time I was housebound. I’d lost a high-flying graduate job with a large multinational organization. The cause of all this? An illness commonly known as Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, or ME (Myalgic Encephalomyelitis).
At the time, eight out of ten doctors didn’t believe it was a genuine illness. Some still don’t. My own doctor was one of them. His response to my so-called illness? He sent me to see a psychiatrist in Liverpool. If I’m honest, I found it a challenging and humbling experience.
I was ill for nearly three years, but I got to a position where I felt well enough to work part time. However, my next big challenge was this.
No one would hire me.
Why?
I couldn’t pass a medical.
So here’s what I did. I hired myself.
I was awesome at the interview. Stand out candidate, in fact.
I think the technical term to describe my employment status was self-employed. My international headquarters doubled as a bedroom in a small house on the outskirts of Warrington. In my first year of business I earned the princely sum of £2,300. That’s over a whole year. My tax bill was fairly small that year. In fact, it was non-existent.
My accountant dumped me as I was wasting his time.
But despite that rather less than auspicious start, things did gradually improve. My training and development business grew. Over time, my business evolved into speaking at conferences and team events. People started calling me a motivational speaker. (Some also said I had a passing resemblance to Dustin Hoffman – in his younger days, I hope.)
But there was a challenge. I’m not a celebrity (except in my mum’s eyes). I’ve never climbed Everest, sailed round the world singlehandedly, walked to the North Pole, overcome cancer, lost a limb or won a gold medal.
I’m just Mr Ordinary – yet I had to compete as a speaker, not only with celebrities from all fields, but with doctors and professors and multimillionaire business people. Whereas I’m just that slightly below average height guy from Manchester who bizarrely supports Bradford City and Wigan Athletic (it’s a long story) and wrote a book called SUMO (Shut Up, Move On).
But despite that I’ve done OK. I’ve spoken around the world. From Bolton to Bali, Rochdale to Reykjavik, and Todmorden to Tehran, I’ve spoken to over a quarter of a million people in forty countries to date. Some have willingly paid to hear me speak. Others were sent by their boss and clearly wanted to be somewhere else.
So how have I managed to develop a successful speaking career with such a rather ordinary, unspectacular background
Clearly,