Ship's Company, the Entire Collection. William Wymark Jacobs
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dear!’ she ses. ‘And I thought it would be in plenty of time. Well, I must go on the ship and wait for ‘im, I suppose.’
“If I ‘ad only let ‘er go I should ha’ saved myself a lot o’ trouble, and the man wot deserved it would ha’ got it. Instead o’ that I told ‘er about the music-’all, and arter carrying on like a silly gal o’ seventeen and saying she couldn’t think of it, she gave way and said she’d go with me to find ‘im. I was all right so far as clothes went as it happened. Mrs. Plimmer said once that I got more and more dressy every time she saw me, and my missis ‘ad said the same thing only in a different way. I just took a peep through the wicket and saw that Joe ‘ad taken up my dooty, and then we set off.
“I said I wasn’t quite sure which one he’d gone to, but we’d try the Pagoda Music-’all fust, and we went there on a bus from Aldgate. It was the fust evening out I ‘ad ‘ad for years, and I should ‘ave enjoyed it if it ‘adn’t been for Miss Lamb. Wotever Cap’n Tarbell could ha’ seen in ‘er, I can’t think.
“She was quiet, and stupid, and bad-tempered. When the bus-conductor came round for the fares she ‘adn’t got any change; and when we got to the hall she did such eggsterrordinary things trying to find ‘er pocket that I tried to look as if she didn’t belong to me. When she left off she smiled and said she was farther off than ever, and arter three or four wot was standing there ‘ad begged ‘er to have another try, I ‘ad to pay for the two.
“The ‘ouse was pretty full when we got in, but she didn’t take no notice of that. Her idea was that she could walk about all over the place looking for Cap’n Tarbell, and it took three men in buttons and a policeman to persuade ‘er different. We were pushed into a couple o’ seats at last, and then she started finding fault with me.
“‘Where is Cap’n Tarbell?’ she ses. ‘Why don’t you find him?’
“‘I’ll go and look for ‘im in the bar presently,’ I ses. ‘He’s sure to be there, arter a turn or two.’
“I managed to keep ‘er quiet for ‘arf an hour—with the ‘elp of the people wot sat near us—and then I ‘ad to go. I ‘ad a glass o’ beer to pass the time away, and, while I was drinking it, who should come up but the cook and one of the hands from the Lizzie and Annie.
“‘We saw you,’ ses the cook, winking; ‘didn’t we Bob?’
“‘Yes,’ ses Bob, shaking his silly ‘ead; ‘but it wasn’t no surprise to me. I’ve ‘ad my eye on ‘im for a long time past.’
“‘I thought ‘e was married,’ ses the cook.
“‘So he is,’ ses Bob, ‘and to the best wife in London. I know where she lives. Mine’s a bottle o’ Bass,’ he ses, turning to me.
“‘So’s mine,’ ses the cook.
“I paid for two bottles for ‘em, and arter that they said that they’d ‘ave a whisky and soda apiece just to show as there was no ill-feeling.
“‘It’s very good,’ ses Bob, sipping his, ‘but it wants a sixpenny cigar to go with it. It’s been the dream o’ my life to smoke a sixpenny cigar.’
“‘So it ‘as mine,’ ses the cook, ‘but I don’t suppose I ever shall.’
“They both coughed arter that, and like a goodnatured fool I stood ‘em a sixpenny cigar apiece, and I ‘ad just turned to go back to my seat when up come two more hands from the Lizzie and Annie.
“‘Halloa, watchman!’ ses one of ‘em. ‘Why, I thought you was a-taking care of the wharf.’
“‘He’s got something better than the wharf to take care of,’ ses Bob, grinning.
“‘I know; we see ‘im,’ ses the other chap. ‘We’ve been watching ‘is goings-on for the last ‘arf-hour; better than a play it was.’
“I stopped their mouths with a glass o’ bitter each, and went back to my seat while they was drinking it. I told Miss Lamb in whispers that ‘e wasn’t there, but I’d ‘ave another look for him by and by. If she’d ha’ whispered back it would ha’ been all right, but she wouldn’t, and, arter a most unpleasant scene, she walked out with her ‘ead in the air follered by me with two men in buttons and a policeman.
“O’ course, nothing would do but she must go back to the wharf and wait for Cap’n Tarbell, and all the way there I was wondering wot would ‘appen if she went on board and found ‘im there with Mrs. Plimmer. However, when we got there I persuaded ‘er to go into the office while I went aboard to see if I could find out where he was, and three minutes arterwards he was standing with me behind the galley, trembling all over and patting me on the back.
“‘Keep ‘er in the office a little longer,’ he ses, in a whisper. ‘The other’s going soon. Keep ‘er there as long as you can.’
“‘And suppose she sees you and Mrs. Plimmer passing the window?’ I ses.
“‘That’ll be all right; I’m going to take ‘er to the stairs in the ship’s boat,’ he ses. ‘It’s more romantic.’
“He gave me a little punch in the ribs, playfullike, and, arter telling me I was worth my weight in gold-dust, went back to the cabin agin.
“I told Miss Lamb that the cabin was locked up, but that Cap’n Tarbell was expected back in about ‘arf-an-hour’s time. Then I found ‘er an old newspaper and a comfortable chair and sat down to wait. I couldn’t go on the wharf for fear she’d want to come with me, and I sat there as patient as I could, till a little clicking noise made us both start up and look at each other.
“‘Wot’s that?’ she ses, listening.
“‘It sounded,’ I ses ‘it sounded like somebody locking the door.’
“I went to the door to try it just as somebody dashed past the window with their ‘ead down. It was locked fast, and arter I had ‘ad a try at it and Miss Lamb had ‘ad a try at it, we stood and looked at each other in surprise.
“‘Somebody’s playing a joke on us,’ I ses.
“‘Joke!’ ses Miss Lamb. ‘Open that door at once. If you don’t open it I’ll call for the police.’
“She looked at the windows, but the iron bars wot was strong enough to keep the vans outside was strong enough to keep ‘er in, and then she gave way to such a fit o’ temper that I couldn’t do nothing with ‘er.
“‘Cap’n Tarbell can’t be long now,’ I ses, as soon as I could get a word in. ‘We shall get out as soon as e comes.’
“She flung ‘erself down in the chair agin with ‘er back to me, and for nearly three-quarters of an hour we sat there without a word. Then, to our joy, we ‘eard footsteps turn in at the gate. Quick footsteps they was. Somebody turned the handle of the door, and then a face looked in at the window that made me nearly jump out of my boots in surprise. A face that was as white as chalk with temper, and a bonnet cocked over one eye with walking fast. She shook ‘er fist at me, and then she shook it at Miss Lamb.
“‘Who’s that?’ ses Miss Lamb.
“‘My missis,’ I ses, in a loud voice. ‘Thank goodness she’s come.’
“‘Open the door!’ ses my missis, with a screech.
“‘OPEN THE DOOR!’
“‘I can’t,’ I ses. ‘Somebody’s locked it. This is Cap’n Tarbell’s young lady.’
“‘I’ll Cap’n Tarbell ‘er when I get in!’ ses my wife. ‘You too. I’ll music-’all you! I’ll learn you to go gallivanting about! Open the door!’
“She walked up and down the alley-way in front of the window waiting for me just like a lion walking up and down its cage waiting for its dinner, and I made up my mind then and there that I should ‘ave to make a clean