Short Cruises. William Wymark Jacobs
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“Don’t he?” said Mr. Stokes. “Why, he always seems quiet enough to me. Too quiet, I should say. Why, I never knew a quieter man. I chaff ‘im about it sometimes.”
“That’s his artfulness,” said Mrs. Henshaw.
“Always in a hurry to get ‘ome,” pursued the benevolent Mr. Stokes.
“He may say so to you to get away from you,” said Mrs. Henshaw, thoughtfully. “He does say you’re hard to shake off sometimes.”
Mr. Stokes sat stiffly upright and threw a fierce glance in the direction of Mr. Henshaw.
“Pity he didn’t tell me,” he said bitterly. “I ain’t one to force my company where it ain’t wanted.”
“I’ve said to him sometimes,” continued Mrs. Henshaw, “‘Why don’t you tell Ted Stokes plain that you don’t like his company?’ but he won’t. That ain’t his way. He’d sooner talk of you behind your back.”
“What does he say?” inquired Mr. Stokes, coldly ignoring a frantic headshake on the part of his friend.
“Promise me you won’t tell him if I tell you,” said Mrs. Henshaw.
Mr. Stokes promised.
“I don’t know that I ought to tell you,” said Mrs. Henshaw, reluctantly, “but I get so sick and tired of him coming home and grumbling about you.”
“Go on,” said the waiting Stokes.
Mrs. Henshaw stole a glance at him. “He says you act as if you thought yourself everybody,” she said, softly, “and your everlasting clack, clack, clack, worries him to death.”
“Go on,” said the listener, grimly.
“And he says it’s so much trouble to get you to pay for your share of the drinks that he’d sooner pay himself and have done with it.”
Mr. Stokes sprang from his chair and, with clenched fists, stood angrily regarding the horrified Mr. Bell. He composed himself by an effort and resumed his seat.
“Anything else?” he inquired.
“Heaps and heaps of things,” said Mrs. Henshaw; “but I don’t want to make bad blood between you.”
“Don’t mind me,” said Mr. Stokes, glancing bale-fully over at his agitated friend. “P’raps I’ll tell you some things about him some day.”
“It would be only fair,” said Mrs. Henshaw, quickly. “Tell me now; I don’t mind Mr. Bell hearing; not a bit.”
Mr. Bell spoke up for himself. “I don’t want to hear family secrets,” he whispered, with an imploring glance at the vindictive Mr. Stokes. “It wouldn’t be right.”
“Well, I don’t want to say things behind a man’s back,” said the latter, recovering himself. “Let’s wait till George comes in, and I’ll say ‘em before his face.”
Mrs. Henshaw, biting her lip with annoyance, argued with him, but in vain. Mr. Stokes was firm, and, with a glance at the clock, said that George would be in soon and he would wait till he came.
Conversation flagged despite the efforts of Mrs. Henshaw to draw Mr. Bell out on the subject of Ireland. At an early stage of the catechism he lost his voice entirely, and thereafter sat silent while Mrs. Henshaw discussed the most intimate affairs of her husband’s family with Mr. Stokes. She was in the middle of an anecdote about her mother-in-law when Mr. Bell rose and, with some difficulty, intimated his desire to depart.
“What, without seeing George?” said Mrs. Henshaw. “He can’t be long now, and I should like to see you together.”
“P’r’aps we shall meet him,” said Mr. Stokes, who was getting rather tired of the affair. “Good night.”
He led the way to the door and, followed by the eager Mr. Bell, passed out into the street. The knowledge that Mrs. Henshaw was watching him from the door kept him silent until they had turned the corner, and then, turning fiercely on Mr. Henshaw, he demanded to know what he meant by it.
“I’ve done with you,” he said, waving aside the other’s denials. “I’ve got you out of this mess, and now I’ve done with you. It’s no good talking, because I don’t want to hear it.”
“Good-by, then,” said Mr. Henshaw, with unexpected hauteur, as he came to a standstill.
“I’ll ‘ave my trousers first, though,” said Mr. Stokes, coldly, “and then you can go, and welcome.”
“It’s my opinion she recognized me, and said all that just to try us,” said the other, gloomily.
Mr. Stokes scorned to reply, and reaching his lodging stood by in silence while the other changed his clothes. He refused Mr. Henshaw’s hand with a gesture he had once seen on the stage, and, showing him downstairs, closed the door behind him with a bang.
Left to himself, the small remnants of Mr. Henshaw’s courage disappeared. He wandered forlornly up and down the streets until past ten o’clock, and then, cold and dispirited, set off in the direction of home. At the corner of the street he pulled himself together by a great effort, and walking rapidly to his house put the key in the lock and turned it.
The door was fast and the lights were out. He knocked, at first lightly, but gradually increasing in loudness. At the fourth knock a light appeared in the room above, the window was raised, and Mrs. Henshaw leaned out.
“Mr. Bell!” she said, in tones of severe surprise.
“Bell?” said her husband, in a more surprised voice still. “It’s me, Polly.”
“Go away at once, sir!” said Mrs. Henshaw, indignantly. “How dare you call me by my Christian name? I’m surprised at you!”
“It’s me, I tell you—George!” said her husband, desperately. “What do you mean by calling me Bell?”
“If you’re Mr. Bell, as I suppose, you know well enough,” said Mrs. Henshaw, leaning out and regarding him fixedly; “and if you’re George you don’t.”
“I’m George,” said Mr. Henshaw, hastily.
“I’m sure I don’t know what to make of it,” said Mrs. Henshaw, with a bewildered air. “Ted Stokes brought round a man named Bell this afternoon so like you that I can’t tell the difference. I don’t know what to do, but I do know this—I don’t let you in until I have seen you both together, so that I can tell which is which.”
“Both together!” exclaimed the startled Mr. Henshaw. “Here—look here!”
He struck a match and, holding it before his face, looked up at the window. Mrs. Henshaw scrutinized him gravely.
“It’s no good,” she said, despairingly. “I can’t tell. I must see you both together.”
Mr. Henshaw ground his teeth. “But where is he?” he inquired.
“He went off with Ted Stokes,” said his wife. “If you’re George you’d better go and ask him.”
She prepared to close the window, but Mr. Henshaw’s voice arrested her.
“And suppose he is not there?” he said.
Mrs. Henshaw reflected. “If he is not there bring Ted Stokes back with you,” she said at last, “and if he says you’re George, I’ll let you in.”
The window closed and the light disappeared. Mr. Henshaw waited for some time, but in vain, and, with a very clear idea of the reception he would meet with at the hands of Mr. Stokes, set off to his lodging.
If anything, he had underestimated his friend’s powers. Mr. Stokes, rudely disturbed just as he had got into bed, was the incarnation of wrath. He was violent, bitter, and insulting in a breath, but Mr. Henshaw was desperate, and Mr. Stokes, after vowing over and over again that nothing should induce him to accompany him back to his house, was at last so moved by his entreaties that he went upstairs and equipped himself for the journey.
“And,