Skulduggery Pleasant: Books 7 - 9. Derek Landy
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with the lapse.”
“My name is Grim. I am the bodyguard to—”
“The point I am making, Mr Grim, is that since you know who we are, and since you know what our role is in this Sanctuary, then you are either impeding our progress because you have been ordered, specifically, to keep us out, or because you have taken it upon yourself to do so. Which is it?”
“You’re not—”
“Never mind, I don’t really care. Move aside.”
Grim puffed out his chest. “By order of the Supreme Council, no one gets by here without—”
“The Supreme Council has no jurisdiction in this country.”
“You’ll have to take that up with them. I just do what I’m told.”
“Oh, good,” Skulduggery said, “that’ll make this much easier. Move aside.”
He went to walk past and Grim moved directly into his path. “You’re not getting through.”
“I actually think we are.”
“I’m giving you this one and only warning.”
“How nice of you,” said Skulduggery. “By the way, the sparrow flies south for winter.”
Grim frowned, opened his mouth to form a question and Skulduggery swung his hand up, catching him in the side of the jaw with his palm. Grim went down like a sack of rocks.
“Do you think we’ll get into trouble for that?” Valkyrie asked.
“I might,” Skulduggery said, walking on. “You probably won’t, unless there’s a new accessory-to-slapping law that I don’t know about.”
“What are they doing acting as security men?”
“I don’t know, but I doubt Ravel approved this.”
There was a man talking to Tipstaff as they approached, and when he caught sight of them, he shook Tipstaff’s hand and walked over. Tipstaff, for his part, looked unimpressed.
“Mr Pleasant,” the man said in an American accent, hurrying over to shake Skulduggery’s hand. “I am such a huge – forgive me for saying this – a huge, huge admirer of yours. I’ve followed all of your cases, scoured the archives. Huge, huge admirer. Oh, heavens, sorry, my name. I’m Bernard Sult. I’m one of the Junior Administrators at the American Sanctuary. And Miss Cain, very lovely to meet you. We all owe you a gigantic debt of gratitude for the service you’ve done in a few short years. Thank you, Miss Cain. Thank you.”
Valkyrie shook his hand. “Sure,” she said. “No problem.”
“No problem!” Sult repeated, almost spluttering the words as he laughed. “No problem, she says! Defeating Serpine and Vengeous and the Diablerie, defeating gods, recapturing the Remnants...! No problem to Valkyrie Cain, maybe, but for the rest of us, it would have been a great big problem indeed!”
He laughed again, had to wipe his eyes he was laughing so hard. Valkyrie glanced at Skulduggery and he shrugged.
“You’re here with the Supreme Council, then,” Skulduggery said, walking on. Sult kept up with them. “We met one of your friends back there. He didn’t want to let us by.”
Sult looked horrified. “He tried to stop you?”
“He definitely tried. You might want to check on him when you have a spare minute.”
“Well,” said Sult, “I must apologise most profusely if he offended you in any way. Some of our people, they’re so eager to make a good impression that, well, sometimes they’re a little too stringent with the rules.”
“And what rules would they be, Bernard? As far as I’m aware, you and your associates have no duties whatsoever in this Sanctuary.”
“You’re absolutely right,” Sult said, nodding. “But we were just talking with your Cleaver commander about lending a hand if a hand was needed, all in a very unofficial capacity, you understand. Could I ask, was the gentleman who interrupted you from the English Sanctuary?”
“Indeed he was. A Mr Grim.”
“Ah, the bodyguard. That explains it. We had different briefings. I can assure you that such a misunderstanding will not happen again. You have my word. It’s all very embarrassing.”
Now that Sult was focusing on Skulduggery, Valkyrie gave him a quick once-over. Looked to be in his thirties. Dark hair, cut short and neat. Nice suit, tasteful tie. Shiny shoes. Gold wedding ring. Apart from that, there was nothing distinctive about him at all.
“Do you work closely with Bisahalani?” Skulduggery asked.
“With Grand Mage Bisahalani, indeed I do,” Sult said, nodding again. “Well, I say closely, but really I’m just one of his many aides. Still, I’m honoured that he chose me to represent him here.”
“I would say so. The Supreme Council and all that. It all sounds so very important.”
Sult laughed again. “It does, doesn’t it? To be honest, I wish they’d have chosen a less grand name but, well... what sorcerer doesn’t love a grand name, eh?”
“Very true,” chuckled Skulduggery. “I suppose that’s one crime we’re all guilty of. At least the Supreme Council is upfront about its intentions. It’d be so much worse to be stabbed in the back by something called the Nice and Friendly Council, wouldn’t it?”
“Stabbed in the back?” Sult laughed. “I’m afraid I don’t get it.”
Skulduggery and Valkyrie stopped walking. “Oh, come now, Bernard. The Supreme Council want nothing more than an excuse to come in here and take over, isn’t that right? What are they looking for? What excuse do they need before they’ll be happy?”
Sult’s smile wavered. “I... I don’t know what you—”
“A huge admirer, are you?” Skulduggery said, talking over him. “Is that why your mouth keeps turning down in contempt? Is that why you practically sneered when you said Valkyrie’s name?”
Sult stepped back. “I assure you, you’re mistaken. I’m—”
“Just because I don’t have a face to call my own does not mean I can’t read other people’s,” said Skulduggery. “You don’t like us, Bernard. In fact, you hate us. You despise us. You’re here to take this Sanctuary down. And as for this administrator thing, this unimportant aide to Grand Mage Bisahalani story, well, I think we can both agree that that’s not entirely true, can’t we? Who are you? You’re not one of his detectives – I’d know you. You don’t step into the light much. You prefer working in the shadows. Is that who you are, Bernard? Bisahalani’s invisible enforcer?”
Sult smiled, and for the first time Valkyrie believed the smile was genuine. Cold, unfriendly, but genuine.
“We’re not here to take over,” Sult said. “We’re just here to help. And I don’t dislike you, Detective. You’ve saved the world. Both of you have. The problem is, you’ve mainly saved the world from your own mistakes. Time and again, this Sanctuary and its Council of Elders have endangered the lives of the people it is supposed to protect. And in doing so, it endangers the lives of everyone else on the planet. And speaking for everyone else on the planet, that isn’t exactly fair.”
“And yet,” Skulduggery said, “by interfering, you’re breaking the international Sanctuary code. What’s next? We don’t solve the latest crisis in six days, and you take the decision out of our hands entirely? Purely for our own good, of course.”
“If we have to,” Sult said. “And it’s five days.”
“That’s what I thought,” said Skulduggery. He went to move off but Sult put a hand on his arm.
“Don’t act like we’re the villains,”