Skulduggery Pleasant: Books 7 - 9. Derek Landy
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“There are people out there you can trust,” said Skulduggery. “Starting with us.”
Lament looked at him, looked at them both, and didn’t respond.
They spent the evening in the living room. Lenka explained that they had gone through phases of calling it the common room and the social area, before deciding that living room just sounded more comfortable. There were sofas and armchairs and tables and pictures on the walls and a massive screen down one end.
“How do you pass the time here?” Valkyrie asked when Lenka had finished explaining everything.
Vernon Plight laughed. “It can get quite boring at times,” he admitted. “We watch television and we play music, but mostly we’ve found ways to amuse ourselves.”
“Really?” Valkyrie asked. “Like what?”
Plight’s smile faded. “Like human sacrifice.”
He grabbed one arm and Lenka grabbed the other and Valkyrie cried out.
Then they both let go, laughing.
“Naw,” Plight said, “we just play board games.”
Lenka doubled up with laughter. “Your face!” she squealed. “Your face when you thought we were going to kill you!”
Valkyrie glared at them. “That,” she said, “is not funny.”
“It’s a little funny,” Lament said, passing the door.
“It’s not funny at all,” Valkyrie insisted. “Skulduggery, tell them.”
“I wish I’d had a camera,” he said, shaking his head.
“I hate all of you. Every single one of you.”
Kalvin Accord came in.
“She fell for it!” gasped Lenka. “She fell for the human sacrifice bit!”
Kalvin chortled, he actually chortled, and turned around and walked out again.
“I hate you all,” Valkyrie said miserably.
It may have been the mountain air, but Valkyrie awoke refreshed the next morning, full of energy, thinking good thoughts and feeling positive. She showered, dressed, and met Lenka for breakfast. They had freshly picked fruit and freshly squeezed orange juice.
“And now,” said Lenka, rubbing her stomach, “we have freshly slaughtered pig.”
Valkyrie made a face. “You kill your own animals?”
“It’s not like we can pop out to the nearest supermarket,” Lenka said, laughing. “Pig. Pork chops. Bacon. Oh my God, bacon...”
She closed her eyes and smiled. Valkyrie frowned.
Then Lenka sighed, and looked up. “We don’t have pig,” she said sadly. “We have the animals and the birds in the Arboretum but we don’t touch them. We can’t. Those monkeys are too cute.”
“So why didn’t you bring some pigs? When you started, I mean.”
“Oh, we did. But they escaped. They’re loose somewhere in this mountain and every year, their numbers grow. Sometimes at night you can hear them, calling to each other. It’s quite spooky, in an oinky sort of way.”
“I… don’t know whether to believe you or not.”
“Probably wise. But then we all decided it would just be easier to become vegetarians, so we did. Do you eat meat?”
“Yes.”
Lenka sat forward, eyes sparkling. “What was the last piece of meat you ate?”
“Uh,” said Valkyrie, “I don’t know, it was... It was before I got on the plane. I brought a sandwich with me. Chicken and stuffing.”
“Chicken!” Lenka exclaimed. “How was it? How did it taste?”
“It was OK. It tasted fine. Like chicken.”
“Wow,” said Lenka. “It tasted like chicken. I envy you so much, being able to eat chicken and being able to do… things. I’d love to spend a day in the world. Just walking around. Going into shops. Going to a concert. Sitting in an office.”
“An office?”
“Oh, yeah. And everyone’s wearing shirts and ties and arguing about annual reports and the photocopier not working... That’d be heaven.”
“Are you sure?”
“The hum that phosphorescent lights make – is it as comforting as I remember?”
“Uh...”
“I miss that sound so much.” She looked away, and after a moment Valkyrie became aware of a very low hum that was coming from Lenka’s direction.
Valkyrie cleared her throat. “Can I ask you something?”
Lenka stopped humming. “Sure.”
“Why did you come here? I mean, I can’t imagine making that decision, to leave everything behind just to watch over one person that you don’t even know.”
Lenka smiled. “Tyren asked. How could I refuse? I’d just started working for the Sanctuary, and I was full of ideals and pure thoughts. Once you start working there, you give yourself over to a higher duty, don’t you? You become a protector. You’re ready to give your life to ensure the safety of others.”
“That’s a very dramatic way of looking at things.”
“I’m a very dramatic person. But I’m sure you’re the same.”
“Dramatic?”
“Willing to give your life for the safety of others.”
“Eh, I don’t think so. Have you met those others? Most of them are idiots.”
“So there is no one you would die for?”
Valkyrie went quiet for a moment. “I’d die for my parents and my sister.”
“See?” Lenka said. “Out there, in the world, there are people I would die for. They are the reason I’m here. They are the reason I’ve sacrificed a normal life. I do this to keep them safe.”
“I hope they appreciate it.”
“Sadly, they will never know. They think I just disappeared one day. I couldn’t even leave them a note.”
“My God. That’s the most... selfless thing I’ve ever heard.”
“Then you should talk to the others,” Lenka said with a little laugh. “They’ve all sacrificed just as much as me, if not more. But we do what we do to make the world a safer place. When it gets cold here, really cold, that thought keeps me warm.”
“I... I want to hug you.”
“Hugging also keeps me warm.”
Valkyrie hugged her and Lenka laughed again.
“When you’re quite finished,” Skulduggery said, walking by.
Valkyrie got up. “See you around?” she said to Lenka.
Lenka held up her hands. “It’s kind of inevitable.”
Valkyrie