Skulduggery Pleasant: Books 7 - 9. Derek Landy

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Skulduggery Pleasant: Books 7 - 9 - Derek Landy


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200 years.

      “Please,” Skulduggery said, “don’t make a fuss.”

      Predictably, Shudder didn’t even crack a smile. “Why are you back?” he asked.

      “We need to talk to China.”

      Shudder didn’t respond.

      “We want to get into the City,” Skulduggery continued. “We thought she might know a way. Or maybe you do, and you could tell us, and we wouldn’t have to disturb her. I think that’d be best for everyone, actually.”

      “I do nothing without Miss Sorrows’ permission.”

      “What a fulfilling life you must lead.”

      “My reflection,” Valkyrie said. “Is it here?”

      Shudder turned his eyes to her. “Your reflection was taken along with thirteen of our people. Nine others were killed last night, and four more have died since then of their injuries.”

      “Can we talk to her? China said it herself, she’s in my debt. If it wasn’t for me, you guys would never have got that Teleporter.”

      “The Teleporter they tracked from the dungeon,” said Shudder. “The Teleporter who led them straight to us.”

      “None of that is my fault.”

      “Tell China we have a proposition for her,” said Skulduggery.

      “I am her bodyguard,” said Shudder, “not her liaison. If you want to tell Miss Sorrows something, then do it yourself.” He walked past them, heading across the square to the large building.

      “I think that was his way of saying follow me,” Healy told them, smiling.

      Valkyrie handed him back his shotgun and joined Skulduggery. They followed Shudder through the door, and a section of the flooring opened up, revealing steps leading down. At the bottom of the steps Cleavers stood, clad in grey, with those visored helmets that used to creep Valkyrie out so much. Now they comforted her. She much preferred the grey-suited Cleavers to the crimson-suited Redhoods.

      Shudder pushed open the door. A man was sitting in a chair. His chest was bare and he had a black disc the size of a drinks coaster attached to his forearm. China Sorrows was carving a sigil into his chest with a scalpel.

      She stopped work for a moment and looked up, her startling blue eyes fixed on Skulduggery. “Who are you?”

      Valkyrie frowned. “You don’t recognise him?”

      China went back to work on the man in the chair, who didn’t seem to notice the pain. “One skeleton looks the same as another,” she said. Of course, I’ve only known one to actually walk...”

      “Hello, China,” Skulduggery said.

      It may have been the light, but Valkyrie could have sworn she saw China take a sharp breath. She straightened up.

      “It is you,” she said. “Where were you? Where have you been? Everyone... everyone thought you were dead.”

      Skulduggery took his hat off. “Do I look dead?”

      “I refuse to answer ridiculous questions.”

      “China Sorrows... such a past we share. It’s practically unfathomable, isn’t it? The influence we’ve had on each other’s lives? You helped make me the man I am today.”

      China didn’t respond. Instead, she glanced at the man in the chair. “We’ll finish this later.” He nodded, removed the black disc from his arm and winced, then walked out.

      “And I,” Skulduggery said as China began cleaning the scalpel, “I’m sure I’ve affected your growth as a person in equally memorable ways. The years we spent as enemies, hunting and fighting and warring... From a spoiled little disciple of the Faceless Ones to leader of the Diablerie and now look at you. The leader of the Resistance. You’ve changed.”

      “I’d hope so. Where have you been all this time?”

      “That doesn’t really matter.”

      “It matters to me.” China placed the scalpel in a slim case, and closed the lid. “First we have Valkyrie Cain and her reflection appearing out of nowhere, and now we witness the return of the living skeleton after, what, one hundred and fifty years? And they’re friends, no less. So I have questions. Where have you been, what are you doing back, and who are you?”

      “You know who I am,” said Skulduggery.

      “I know who you were,” said China. “And I’ve asked a lot of people about you, Valkyrie, and no one seems to know who you are or where you came from, either. This is all very mysterious. I don’t like mysteries. They unsettle me.”

      Valkyrie suddenly became aware of how vulnerable they were, with Shudder and a handful of Cleavers standing behind them.

      “We’re not from here,” Skulduggery said.

      China’s gaze flickered to him. “Explain.”

      “A Dimensional Shunter sent us here,” Skulduggery said. “We don’t belong in this world.”

      “And you expect me to believe that you’re from a parallel universe, then? Is that it? Tell me, does your universe have a China Sorrows?”

      “It does.”

      “And is she stupid?”

      “She is not.”

      “Then why would you think I would believe you?”

      “We could prove it, if you’d like. Maybe tell you something, something the version of me from this reality probably never knew. For instance, that you delivered my wife and child to Serpine so that he could murder them in front of me. Something like that, perhaps.”

      China was silent for a moment. “How long have you known?”

      “This last year, but that’s in a whole other reality.”

      “And your version of me... did you kill her quickly or did you make it last?”

      “Neither. She still lives.”

      “I don’t understand.”

      “I’m a lot of things, but I’m no hypocrite.”

      “I had a hand in killing your family, in killing you and turning you into what you are now... and you don’t want to kill me for it?”

      “Of course I want to kill you,” said Skulduggery. “I want to kill most people. But then where would I be? In a field of dead people with no one to talk to.”

      “You are different from the Skulduggery I knew.”

      “Maybe. Maybe not.”

      “What do you need? A way home?”

      “That should take care of itself. No, we need to get into Mevolent’s Palace.”

      “Why?”

      “They’re holding my reflection,” said Valkyrie.

      “Let them keep it,” China said. “It’s a reflection. No, there’s something else.”

      “There is,” said Skulduggery, “and we need to retrieve it. It’s very valuable to us.”

      “Tell me what it is, maybe I have one to spare.”

      “I doubt it.”

      “You’ll tell me eventually, because I won’t help you otherwise. You could lie to me, of course, but I’d know.”

      “Our world is in danger,” said Skulduggery. “We need a weapon powerful enough to kill a god.”

      China laughed. “You want the Sceptre? Impossible. Mevolent keeps it in his throne room where it is protected by an Arietti Sigil, and when he leaves the Palace,


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