Love Me Or Leave Me. Claudia Carroll
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Acknowledgements
Chloe.
‘Shh, shh, shh,’ I can hear my best friend Gemma saying, as she hands me a fistful of Kleenex and purposely avoids hugging me, so as not to crumple the wedding dress. Even though it makes shag-all difference now. My perfect wedding dress too; the one I spent long months trawling just about every bridal shop the length and breadth of the country to find.
‘It’s all right, sweetheart. Just try to tell me what happened.’
Right then, I think, staring dully back at her. You asked for it. So here it is; here’s what I can remember from just minutes ago, before the skin got ripped off the surface of my life, exposing nothing but raw flesh underneath.
The killer is, I’m just a nice, ordinary, normal girl. This isn’t the kind of thing that’s supposed to happen to nice, ordinary, normal girls, now is it?
So I took a deep breath and began. Gemma says nothing, just nods silently and waits till I’ve finished.
‘You’ll be okay, you know.’
‘Will I?’
She paused for a beat and I was so grateful to her for at least answering me honestly. But then, Gemma is one of those people who physically gets heartburn when required to lie.
‘I only wish I could say yes.’
* * *
‘And two hearts will beat as one.’
Dawn Madden and Kirk Lennox-Coyningham
Would love you, as one of their dearest friends,
To celebrate their fusion
At Mount Druid,
On the feast of Midsummer, June 21st.
Blessing in the unconsecrated chapel
At two o’clock.
Feasting at The Old Gazebo,
Followed by a tree dedication ceremony on the grounds.
Please don’t RSVP by post, as we believe all paper is wasteful. And know that vegetarians, vegans and all on a gluten-free or lactose intolerance diet will be well catered for.
Organic and unfermented wine freely available.
No gifts please. Donations only, if necessary, to the National Forestry Society.
Accommodation isn’t a problem at Mount Druid. But please let us know if you’d prefer a Mongolian yurt, a shepherd’s hut or a self-catering cottage (running water available here. And eco-loo facilities).
(This invitation has been printed on 100% recycled organic paper and no trees were harmed in its manufacture.)
* * *
Jo and Dave
Cordially invite you
To celebrate their marriage
On fifteenth of February
ST MARY’S CHURCH, 2.45pm sharp, for a prompt 3pm start.
Dress code: strictly black tie, floor length dresses for ladies. Absolutely no cocktail dresses please.
Reception to follow at the Radisson Blu hotel punctually at 7pm.
Full wedding list available at Brown Thomas (no off-list gifting permitted).
Kindly note:
1 Coaches will be on hand at the church to transport guests to the hotel. Please clearly tick the box below if you require transportation.
2 All coaches will leave the church punctually at 4.30pm. This is essential in order to facilitate an on-time arrival at the hotel.
3 Kindly RSVP before December 31st if you have any dietary requirements. Please note, this is essential.
4 Seating plan will be available to view at www.It’sJo’s_Big_Day!.com, from January 1st.
5 No confetti or rice to be thrown at any stage.
6 Guests requiring overnight accommodation, see attached list, which is arranged in order of comfort and budget, from five star standard, downwards.
7 All queries concerning the day should be addressed directly to Jo Hargreaves at Jo_Marketing_Director @digitech.com
Thank you for your prompt reply and looking forward to seeing you on our special day!
* * *
Lucy and Andrew
Are getting married!!!
And they request the pleasure of your company,
At the mother of all parties to celebrate
On New Year’s Eve,
Pichet Restaurant, Trinity St., Dublin.
Sorry, but the actual wedding ceremony will take place privately, on the Twenty Fourth of December, at the Moon Palace Hotel, Cancun, Mexico.
With apologies and please don’t kill us!
No gifts please. We have everything we could possibly need in each other …
London
Chloe.
Last night, the old nightmare came back to haunt me.
I don’t actually know if it’s day or night. All I know is that it’s still my wedding day – or rather the day I was supposed to get married – and I somehow allowed myself to be led out of the bathroom where I’d locked myself, and laid down on top of the fluffy hotel bed. Still in my confection of a wedding dress, crumpled to bits now, like some kind of latter-day Miss Havisham. And they must have given me a sedative the equivalent of a horse tranquillizer, because instead of the heartache that’s to come, all I feel is groggy and sluggish, like I’ve been out cold for hours.
The curtains are drawn and it’s semi-darkness in here, but suddenly I’m aware of someone breathing and a big blurry silhouette perched on the bed beside me. Frank? Could that by some miracle actually be him? For one wonderful, fleeting moment, hope overrides everything my sane mind is trying to tell me. By some miracle, was today just some kind of hallucination and this is actually my wedding night? But I poke round at the slumbering figure a bit and realize that it’s not Frank at all; it’s my best friend Gemma, now out of the gakky bridesmaid’s dress, the one that I practically bullied her into wearing and back into her normal, standard issue jeans with a swingy, summery top.
Still