Josephine Cox Sunday Times Bestsellers Collection. Josephine Cox
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Unbeknownst to anyone, Barney had a drastic plan, and though it would shatter his life, Barney believed in his heart that it was the best option for his family. ‘Think about it,’ he urged. ‘I have the most wonderful wife a man could ever hope for, a daughter who already has ambitions, and two fine sons with farming in their blood, but what is there here for them?’
‘The same as what there’s allus been.’ Adam was a simple man with simple means. It didn’t take much to make him happy; a good friend, a day’s honest work, his own little place to come home to, and a warm smile from Lucy … though there wasn’t a waking minute, when he didn’t wish it could be more.
Unlike Barney, he had no family to rely on him, and so he did not have the same responsibilities, whereas Barney’s family was his entire world. There was no doubt in anyone’s mind but that he would lay down his life for them.
‘It’s a hard cruel world out there,’ Barney replied. ‘England is beautiful. It’s our home and we love it, we always will. But everybody knows the bigger opportunities are out there in America.’ Barney’s instincts told him that his children would make it big in America.
He smiled, a painful, wistful smile that betrayed his own regret at not being able to share in his beloved family’s once-in-a-lifetime adventure. ‘I can see it all now,’ he murmured. ‘My two boys, riding across their own land … with my Vicky watching from the house …’ He looked up, the pride alive in his face. ‘Oh, Adam! I know they can do it. Given the opportunity, I just know they’ll grasp it with both hands.’ His excitement heightened. ‘I can see it! I can feel it in my bones!’
‘I know you want the best for them, Barney, and so you should …’ Adam had a gut feeling there was something going on in Barney’s mind, something other than what he was telling. ‘But, don’t you think it’s a big step to take? Uprooting yourselves to sail away to a strange land when there’s always a chance they might make it good here?’
Barney slowly shook his head. ‘I’ve worked hard all my life,’ he answered sombrely. ‘I’ve brought scrubland back to life, I’ve toiled every godsent hour until my hands bled and my knuckles were raw. I’ve sown the seeds and reaped the harvest, but nothing was mine. I did everything a man could be asked, but I never made enough money to buy even a square foot of land to call my own … to look out across the fields and say this is mine, this is what I’ve given my life for.’
He paused, his mind going back over the years. ‘It’s allus been the man in the big house who’s been able to do that.’
He gave a long heartfelt sigh. ‘Nothing’s changed. There’s no magic formula that says my boys will do any better than me, even though they’ll work the same hours and give the same blood and sweat.’
‘But, Barney, don’t you think they’ll be content just to work the land alongside their dad?’
Even though he could see Barney’s reasoning for going away to make a new life, he so much wanted him to stay. But that was selfish, and he felt ashamed.
Barney tried to explain. ‘You might well be right, old friend,’ he conceded. ‘They are content to be working alongside me, but for how long, eh? There’ll come a day when they’ll need to strike out on their own. That’s when they’ll realise like me, that nothing is for nothing. All they have is the wages I pay them, and Lord knows that’s poor enough. What chance have they got of owning their own farm? The way things are, they’ll be old and grey and still working somebody else’s land. What kind of a future is that for two strapping lads who have it in them to do better?’
In the face of Barney’s explanation, Adam was convinced but saddened. ‘All I can see is the way the three of you work … a well-balanced team, strong together, all pulling the same way, and all the while seeming to know what the other is thinking.’ He nodded his head. ‘Happen I don’t see the true picture after all.’
Barney corrected him. ‘NO! You do see the true picture, and it’s a wonderful way of life. But can’t you hear what I’m telling you? None of it belongs to us and it never will … not the land nor the cattle, not even the roof over our heads. There have been many times when I’ve dreamed of going to America … who hasn’t? And now, we’ve been given an opportunity that may never come again.’
He went on quietly, ‘I have little money … certainly not enough to buy my own land. So if we stayed, I’d be forever a tenant farmer, with no chance of ever owning my own farm, and that being the case there will be nothing for my sons to build on. Oh, yes, I accept that they might move on and somehow, sometime in the far distant future they just might get as far as owning something or another. But I can never be certain of that, and neither can they. As for Susie, if she’s ever to fulfil her ambitions, she’ll need all the help she can get because sometimes talent and skill isn’t enough. She needs opportunities to show what she can do; money to put her through the right kind of college, and then the means to ease her into her own little business.’
He paused, thinking of Vicky and their children, and his heart swelled with pride. ‘I want them to have every chance,’ he murmured. ‘I want them to see something of this beautiful world we live in. I want them to have every opportunity to make a wonderful life, and because of the generosity of one man, they’ve been offered the best chance they’ll ever have … a new life, a bigger sky, new horizons and the way forward to make something of themselves.’ His eyes shone with love. ‘They’re so excited. They want the challenge.’ His voice dropped to a whisper. ‘Who am I to deny them that?’
Adam’s tone changed to one of admiration. ‘You’re right, old friend, but it’s a big step for anybody to be taking, and I’ll tell you this … I’ll miss you all like the very devil, but I do envy you. You’re a brave man, Barney, I’ll say that. There’s many of us who would love the same challenge, but some of us are forever dreamers while others, like yourself, have the courage to give it a go.’ He saw the sadness in Barney’s eyes. ‘All the same, it’s worrying you, isn’t it?’
Barney shook his head. ‘No, Adam.’ He took a sip of his tea. ‘It’s not that that’s been worrying me, well, not for the reasons you might think anyway.’
‘Hmh! If’s not that, what is it then?’
Barney paused, his expression serious as he caught Adam’s curious glance. ‘What I’m about to tell you now, Adam … you’re not to repeat it to a living soul, d’you understand?’
Concerned, Adam replaced his biscuit onto the plate. ‘I’ve never been one to spread folks’ business,’ he chided, ‘especially when it’s an old friend confiding in me. You should know that by now, Barney.’
Barney was mortified. ‘I’m sorry, Adam. It’s just that, I’ve not told anybody else, and I won’t. When I leave here, I’m seeing the doctor. I’ve not told Vicky, and I don’t want her to know … whatever the outcome.’
Now, as Adam began to grasp the seriousness of the situation, he gulped so hard, his Adam’s apple felt like a brick in his throat. ‘I think you’d best explain what you mean by that,’ he said.
Barney felt such relief that he had been able to confide in someone, and as it was Adam, he knew his secret would go no further. ‘I’m sorry to put you in this situation,’ he said, ‘only I had to talk to somebody.’
Deeply worried, the other man brushed aside his apology. ‘What is it, Barney old mate? What’s wrong?’
Barney didn’t want to frighten Adam unnecessarily, but on the other hand, should anything untoward come of his visit to the doctor, he needed someone outside the family to be in full possession of the facts. ‘I reckon as how there’s summat wrong wi’ me,’ he began quietly. ‘Summat the doctors can’t put right.’
Adam was visibly shocked. ‘God Almighty, Barney, whatever makes you say a thing like that?’
Barney explained. ‘For some months now, I’ve been getting these crippling pains in my chest. Sometimes I can hardly breathe,