The Legacy of Lucy Harte: A poignant, life-affirming novel that will make you laugh and cry. Emma Heatherington
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I say something wrong?’ I ask. He looks sad now. ‘God I’m talking too much. Sorry, I’m just so –’
‘No, you’re not, you’re not at all!’ he says, brightening up a bit. ‘It was more of a time to grieve than a holiday, that’s all, but anyhow…’
He goes quiet and the waiter thankfully breaks the brief silence by serving Simon’s beer, a Budweiser, by the bottle, like he asked for it. I stir my gin and tonic and feel butterflies in my tummy. Where on earth do we go from here? Food. Yes, food would the next stage, though I don’t know if I can actually stomach food right now.
‘You must be starving,’ I say, handing him a menu, which I realise I have two of. ‘I had a sneaky peek while I was waiting so I kind of know what I want. Though I am so nervous I don’t know if I can eat.’
‘I’m nervous too but I’m always hungry,’ he says. ‘My mum used to say…’
He trails off again and I notice him bite his lip.
‘Go on…’
‘Ah, it doesn’t matter,’ he says. ‘I won’t bore you with trips down memory lane just yet. Now, what do you recommend? I’m normally a steak-and-chips kinda guy.’
I glance over at Flo, who seems to have forgotten her detective mission and is wolfing down a humongous burger. Unlike me, she didn’t have small talk to go through before placing her order, so is well ahead with her grub. It’s just as well I’m not in any despair over here.
I realise that Simon is looking at me, waiting on my answer regarding the food.
‘Oh, sorry, do excuse me!’ I say. ‘I thought I recognised someone there but it’s an uncanny lookalike. Yes, recommendations. Well, I’m having salmon. I had steak here before and it was really good, so I’d say go with your usual.’
He flashes a smile at me and closes the menu. We are slowly beginning to relax now. It is a huge relief as my tummy starts to settle and my senses come back to me. I never felt nerves like that in my life, not even when I met Jeff’s fancy-pants-rich parents and, believe me, that was nerve-wrecking because they hated me and I knew it and that was way before my Britney Spears impression.
‘Steak and chips it is, then,’ he says. ‘Sorry if I’m staring. You’re shaking. Are you really that nervous?’
He keeps looking at me. Yes, staring, but I am doing the same back.
‘I’m something but I don’t know what it is,’ I confess. ‘I am nervous, yes, overwhelmed more so, but I am slowly starting to come around now, very slowly. You?’
‘Same,’ he says and his eyes smile. ‘I’m just in awe that this has finally happened. It’s like this was always meant to be. I just had to find you…’
He fidgets a bit and then continues.
‘Maggie, I hope I haven’t frightened you by landing so soon.’
‘No … God, no.’
‘I’m in deep grief once again in my life,’ he explains. ‘I am vulnerable at the minute and raw but I just needed to see you. I wanted to see that in some strange way, I still have part of my family alive. Does that make me sound like some freaky weirdo?’
I look at Flo. She is still attacking her burger. If she was Jessica Fletcher she would be sacked by now.
I look back at Simon. I look at the table. I look at my hands. And then I find my voice.
‘No, I don’t think you are some freaky weirdo,’ I tell him softly. ‘I have always wanted to meet you, or someone connected to Lucy, so that I could say thank you. I wanted to thank you, thank Lucy, for my life.’
He really looks like he could cry. If I am vulnerable, he is even more.
‘My wife thinks this is a bit crazy but I need to do this,’ he says. ‘I suppose that when my dad died, part of me died too and I just had to find something to hold on to. I’m making this all sound so desperate, but Lucy, well she was special to me and I wanted to see she… well, how she lives on. In you.’
I purse my lips and he puts his hands to his face in sorrow. Oh God, we should have met somewhere more private. This is all too much for a public bar. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know what to say.
‘Are you okay, Simon? Do you want to go somewhere else? We could go to the park? For a walk?’
‘No, no, of course not,’ he says, taking a deep breath. ‘I’m sorry. I kind of knew this would happen but… sorry, it’s just a big moment for me, that’s all. I’m very raw right now, Maggie.’
Of course he is. It all makes perfect sense. His little sister, to lose her so young must be the worst thing ever and now watching me, living, breathing, drinking, talking, sitting opposite him. This is a big moment for him, for sure. And for me.
‘I hope I’m doing a good job with her heart,’ I whisper, ‘but to be honest, it’s been broken quite badly lately and I really need to fix it.’
He looks up at me with tears in his eyes. I shouldn’t have said that.
‘Let’s eat first,’ he says as the waiter finally brings our food. ‘Look, I am going to make this meeting positive because it is positive and there’s no point us both sitting here blubbering over our food.’
He attempts a smile.
‘It would be a shame to put this to waste,’ I say, looking at the delicious steaming dishes that are set before us.’
‘It surely would. Bon appetit, Maggie,’ says Simon Harte. ‘I won’t bombard you with everything too soon, but I have something for you that might, just might, help fix your broken heart. Or at least point you in the right direction.’
After a fairly quiet but relaxed dinner, we decide to move on to somewhere new and as we walk through the evening sunshine I feel the warm fuzziness of the alcohol kicking in.
Before we left the bar, I gave Flo a discreet ‘thumbs-up’ when she finally had finished her burger followed by what looked like a chocolate sundae. She paid her bill and when Simon left the table to use the bathroom I sent her a text to tell her that he was very nice and very attached so that she could settle in the knowledge that I wasn’t about to jump his bones and then find myself embroiled in yet another messy relationship in which I try to sprint before I can even crawl.
She replied with a lecture on not drinking too much and not to divulge too much information on the first meeting, but I could tell she was much more content about me spending the evening with Simon, as was I. Plus she had just herself indulged in her mighty chocolate sundae so she was, indeed, very happy and content with her full belly, never mind my predicament.
If only Simon Harte knew how much I had allowed my errant husband to tramp all over Lucy’s precious heart and leave me in such a mess. If only he knew…
We walk past city hall and I do my best tourist-guide impression, pointing out different streets and hotels and interesting facts about Belfast. I tell Simon about Jeff and Saffron, about my job and how our break-up affected me, despite my denial at the time. I don’t mention my growing alcohol problem, of course. He doesn’t have to know everything.
‘Sorry but Jeff sounds like a right plonker,’ says Simon as we cross the street and head towards the Europa Hotel. I suggest the Europa because it’s less noisy and not as stuffy as any city centre pub and we can have a proper chat in civilised surroundings without a live band or jukebox ringing in our ears. Plus they have a pianist in the lounge which I think will complement the mood nicely.
‘That’s one word for him. A plonker,’ I joke back. ‘I can think