Under a Tuscan Sky. Karen Aldous
Читать онлайн книгу.
She scooped up the front of her walnut-coloured hair and declared, ‘I’ve dumped Will.’
‘No! Oh, God, I didn’t ring you back.’
Olivia bent her knees as she wriggled in front of Chiara. ‘It’s fine. I finally admitted to myself Will is a waste of space, that I’m not love material, I’m never going to fall in love, nor do I think I’m capable, so I told him and now I’m single.’
Her friend since their first day at school, Chiara stared at her horrified, her large brown eyes wide. ‘Will. You’ve dumped Will? Oh my God, Liv. I thought you two were sound, and wasn’t there talk of marriage, babies?’
Olivia gave a shudder. ‘Yes, I know but realistically, it would never have worked. Chiara, I don’t love him. We’ll never have what you and Liam have.’ She clapped her hands as she watched her friend’s eyes widen further.
‘But I don’t believe it; you’ve never done anything so impulsive. I can’t believe you finished with Will. Are you sure?’
Olivia clenched her teeth, gazing at her friend. ‘Oh, Chiara, I’ve gone mad haven’t I?’
‘No, not at all. I’m surprised, just totally surprised.’
‘Oh, I don’t know now. I’ve had a somewhat strange but liberating weekend, that’s all. And I didn’t want to disturb you and Liam. If you really want to know, it started on Friday night when I got out my passport and stuff to organize my next trip. I was going to phone Will for the hundredth time to try and get an answer about our flight to Italy, but I found some photos my mum gave me of Nonna and Nonno, and her and dad. God, it now seems so … what’s the word, fatalistic, something along those lines. I’m not sure what affected me exactly but their photo captivated me.’
Olivia bit her lip, looking serious. ‘Their eyes always seemed to lock together rather than at the person taking the picture or the camera, which is sweet and so suggestive of their own little world entwined in love. It made me think of the story you told me when you and Liam went to stay at Nonna’s farm in May, you know, when she told you they used to hide under the vines to make out. Seriously, it’s haunting.’
‘Oh, you sound as though you have given this lots of thought.’
‘You could say that. I did lots of mulling over at the weekend. Well, I’ve naturally been doing lots since Nonna’s death, but seeing those photos made me take a good look at myself, a bit of soul-searching if you like, and …’ Clicking her fingers and lifting her chin, Olivia burst into a loud song, ‘I’m “gonna make dat change.”’
She waited for Chiara’s response, but her friend didn’t speak. ‘Do you think I’ve lost it? I’ve been dreaming, no I’ve been deluding myself I was in love with Will. But it’s not love. There was never any magic. And, if I’m honest, I don’t think he really loved me.’
Chiara stared, hands on hips. ‘Whoa! Sounds deep and … so sudden. Liv, you haven’t lost it. But, what have you done? Poor Will, I expect he’s hurt? And, well …’
Olivia scrunched her face and shook her head as she impulsively continued to dance. Chiara was probably as confused as Will had been. This change of heart had come out of the blue. She had never acted so impulsively before and she knew why Chiara found it difficult to comprehend.
‘His pride maybe hurt, but he didn’t seem too bothered when I told him. Although he may have been half asleep when I rang. I think he was tanked up with alcohol. He’ll get over it. I’m being true to myself for once in my life, and what’s more I’m going to Italy on my own.’
‘Look, I’m with your decision – I’m just not sure where my friend, the overly cautious Olivia is and, well, the other factor. I don’t know, perhaps grief has the answer. You must be upset, stressed.’
Raising her nose in the air, Olivia tittered. ‘Maybe, but it’s actually quite refreshing as well as liberating. But really, do I need need a man in tow?’ Olivia picked up her coffee and boogied into her office, proud of her commitment to herself.
Darling Chiara, her pseudo-sister, her rock as always. Since school from four years old, their relationship was solid since they’d both discovered they had Italian families. Olivia heard their younger voices chattering inside her head. Chiara had started the friendship. ‘My daddy is in a country called Italy. He’s staying with his mummy and daddy because he’s there for work. He is going for …’ Chiara counted with four fingers ‘… four days. He comes home on a aeroplane on the Friday.’
‘So is my daddy. He lives in the Italy but I don’t think he wants to come home … ever or ever. Mummy had to go to find him and then …’
‘No you can’t have both your daddy and mummy in Italy – you’ll be all on your own.’
‘Well I do,’ four-year-old Olivia told her matter-of-factly.
‘So, I’ll have to look after you then.’ Chiara was like a lioness to her cub, and so generously had made time for her ever since those early days. They had become like sisters.
As she strolled into her office, her mind leapt back to the present, and she squinted as the sun glistened brightly on her desk. She still felt proud of her practice, five years on.
Chiara raced behind her, taking off her jacket and placing it on the coat stand by the door before following her. ‘Just be careful. Surely with everything you’ve been through with your nonna’s death, the funeral, and everything to sort out, you aren’t feeling yourself? Think about it, Liv, it’s been a terrible few weeks. And, I’m sure Will probably thinks you need some space after all the stress. I think you’ll miss him, and what’s more …’ Chiara licked her lips ‘… remember, you’re now forty, and the biological clock is ticking. You’ll have to meet someone and …’
Olivia shut her eyelids for several seconds. Those words. Chiara knew she detested them. ‘That can’t influence it. I’ve thought it through. I’ve already come to terms with the fact that I’ll never be a mother. It’s not the be-all and end-all. Clearly, I’m like my mum: I don’t think I have maternal bone in my body. And, like her, I could find myself wanting to abandon my child.’
It was shameful to think it had been another reason for staying with Will for the last three years, especially when there were so many doubts in her mind about motherhood. If she couldn’t have that someone special to help her bring up children, what would be the point? It was better to make a clean break, make different life choices.
And Will would have the freedom to find a richer relationship for himself. Besides, there could be a reason he spent weekends and evenings at work and football. Chiara may fight her over it, but that much was true. He didn’t want to be with her.
‘Don’t be ridiculous. You’re making excuses. It was probably circumstance rather than something from your mum’s genes. You love my Sophia and I’m sure you’ll love this one,’ Chiara said rubbing her rounded tummy with her hand. ‘Just because she left you in England with your dad’s parents doesn’t mean you would do the same. That’s absurd. She was young and must have had her reasons. Liv, surely you don’t want to be on your own for the rest of your life. Perhaps the romance just got a bit lost, like it did with me and Liam for a few years. Perhaps a break to Italy is what you both need right now to rekindle that romance.’
Olivia smiled affectionately at her friend’s persistence and at the memory of Chiara and Liam’s trip to her nonna’s farm in the spring whilst she looked after eight-year-old Sophia, their daughter. The excitement they both exuded on their return had been palpable. It had definitely reignited the romance in their relationship. In fact, it had prompted both a wedding date and plans for another baby. The latter had emerged sooner, but the order was of little consequence to them – the difference being that Chiara was deeply in love with Liam, as he was with her. Italy had certainly worked its magic for them.
Olivia took out her phone from her handbag, punched in her PIN, and tapped something on her ‘Wedding’ list for her future