A Candle For Nick. Lorna Michaels
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you.” The woman smiled at Nick, then turned to Kent. “Your son is a sweetheart.”
Your son. Mallory’s hand flew to her mouth as Kent nodded and murmured a thank-you. Oh, God, Mallory thought. The words she couldn’t say a few minutes ago…
Would the stranger’s offhand remark cause Kent to notice Nick’s resemblance to him? And then would he figure out their relationship himself? For a moment Mallory felt sick. The sounds of children’s shrieks and laughter buzzed in her ears, the smell of frying potatoes made her stomach turn over.
She took a deep breath and on legs that felt too weak to support her, walked to Kent and Nick. No wonder the woman thought they were father and son. Anyone could see it. Even the way they stood was similar.
“Hey, Mom, did you hear?” Nick said as she came up to them. His signature grin lit up his face. “That lady thought I was Dr. Berger’s kid. Funny, huh?”
“Uh-huh.” Hilarious.
“We didn’t tell her she made a mistake because she’d have been embarrassed, right, Dr. Berger?”
Kent’s smile was a carbon copy of Nick’s. “Right,” he agreed and put a hand on the boy’s shoulder. “You’re a good kid, Nicholas.”
“Yeah, my mom’s done a great job with me. That’s what everyone says.”
“They’re right.” Kent turned to Mallory, admiration in his eyes.
“Thanks.” She let out a shaky breath. Apparently Kent hadn’t interpreted the woman’s comment as anything more than the natural assumption that a man and boy standing together were father and son. She’d avoided disaster this time, she told herself, but if too many people noticed the resemblance and mentioned it, Kent really would catch on. Better not to get too involved with him. No more spontaneous meals at McDonald’s. Nick could chat with him in the clinic, but that was all. She’d talk with Nick about that as soon as they got home.
She was silent in the car, pondering what to say to keep Nick from becoming too chummy with his doctor. This evening had given her a scare: her secret baby almost revealed against a backdrop of Happy Meals.
Lord, didn’t she have enough to worry about? Nick’s blood counts, his reactions to chemo and, looming ahead, the transplant. She’d forced herself not to think too much about that. It was too terrifying. She’d face the transplant when the time came.
From behind them came the sound of a soft snore. She turned to look at Nick. He was sprawled in the backseat with his arms splayed, his head against the cushion, eyes shut and mouth partially open. “He’s exhausted,” she murmured. “We shouldn’t have stayed so long.”
“Mallory, you can’t lock him away from life. He has to be a normal kid, as normal as possible.”
“I know,” she sighed, “but I worry.”
Kent glanced at her and gave her a half smile. “Sure you do, but you have to take time off, too, and take care of yourself.”
Suddenly angry, Mallory glared at him. “That’s what all doctors say, isn’t it? Well, I can tell you it’s impossible to take time off. What should I do—soak in a bubble bath? When you’re a parent, wherever you go, the cancer goes with you.” She bit her lip. She’d almost added, How do you think you’d feel if you were Nick’s father?
“You’re right.” Kent lifted his hand from the steering wheel, moved it toward her as if to touch her, then stopped and returned it to the wheel. “I’m sorry,” he murmured. “It’s easy to speak in clichés when you’re on the other side.”
Mallory sighed. “And I’m sorry for jumping at you.” She forced a smile. “So we’re even.”
Kent pulled up at her apartment.
“Nick, we’re home,” Mallory said.
He opened his eyes and stared at her sleepily, then yawned. “Okay.”
Kent got out to walk them to the door. Mallory sent Nick inside, reminding him to brush his teeth before bed. “And—”
“I know,” he said, “with the soft toothbrush.” He grinned at Kent. “The leukemabrush, right?” Then he asked, “Aren’t you coming in, Mom?”
“In a minute. I want to talk to Dr. Berger.”
“’Kay. ’Night, Dr. Berger. I’ll see you Thursday.”
Mallory waited for Nick to shut the door, then squared her shoulders and turned to Kent. “About tonight—”
“He really is okay. Just a little tired.”
She shook her head. “That’s not what I wanted to talk about.”
“What, then?”
She took a breath. “How often do you do this?”
“This?”
Was he being deliberately obtuse? “Eat at McDonald’s.”
He chuckled. “The last time was…oh, about ten years ago.”
“Then why tonight? Surely you’re not in the habit of going out for fast food with your patients.”
His smile vanished. “No, I’m not.”
“Then why Nick?”
Frowning, he hesitated a moment, then shook his head. “Damned if I know. Maybe because he’s yours.” He brushed his hand over her cheek, then as if he thought better of his gesture, he turned and walked quickly to his car.
Mallory stood still and watched him get into the car and pull out of the parking lot. Her cheek tingled where he’d touched her, even that faint contact setting off a wave of longing she thought had died long ago. It must have been simmering beneath the surface, needing only the brush of his fingers to come to life again.
She opened the door and went inside. This couldn’t happen. Dammit, she wouldn’t let it.
“That you, Mom?” Nick’s sleepy voice called.
“Yes.”
“I’m in bed.”
She went to his room, sat on the edge of the bed and laid one hand on his cheek. She wished she could kiss him good night, but that wasn’t allowed. Too likely to spread germs. She settled for blowing a kiss with her other hand.
Nick pretended to catch it. He yawned widely, then said, “Tonight was cool.”
The perfect opening. “We need to talk about that.”
His eyelids drooped. “’Kay,” he muttered.
“I’m not sure it’s a good idea to, um, be friends with Dr. Berger. To ask him out to dinner and, um, things like that.”
His eyes opened. “Why?”
“Well, doctors have to make decisions about their patients, and being friends makes it harder.”
“Adam Cage’s family is friends with the Donnellys, and Dr. Donnelly is Adam’s doctor.”
“Yes,” Mallory acknowledged, “but this is different. For instance, you needed that bone marrow aspiration. It hurt but it was important. Sometimes doctors have to make you feel bad to get you well, and doing that is hard if they’re close friends with their patients.”
Nick said nothing. He was clearly thinking this through.
“Do you understand?” Mallory asked.
“Yeah, kinda. You don’t want me asking Dr. Berger to go somewhere with us.”
“Exactly. I know you like him a lot, but…”
“That’s okay, Mom. I get it. I can visit with him at the office.”
Mallory squeezed his hand. “That lady at McDonald’s