His Texas Bride. Deb Kastner
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grief, to have missed such an obvious conclusion. His guilt and shame at the loss of his mother were obscuring his judgment much more than he had realized.
Ellie watched the mix of emotions crossing Buck’s face as he took in all this new information—hurt, anger, grief and confusion warring for prominence. She said a silent prayer for the man she’d once loved with her whole heart.
“You don’t have to make any decisions today,” Larry informed Buck. Larry stood and gave Buck’s shoulder a conciliatory pat. “Take as much time as you need.”
Buck flashed Ellie an apprehensive look, his pupils dilated and foggy, lending a grayish tenor to his eyes. He nodded slowly.
“I guess I do need a little time,” he murmured, his voice ragged.
Despite the feelings warring inside her, Ellie wanted to move to Buck’s side, to hug him. Just to hold him again, let him know he had a friend. But she wasn’t sure how he’d take it, so she didn’t move from where she leaned against the tabletop. She clasped her hands tightly to the table edge to keep from launching herself at him.
“I’m going to get out of here and give you two a bit of privacy,” Larry continued, his voice as low and compassionate as always. “I’m sure you have a lot to discuss. Let me know when you’ve reached a definitive decision regarding the ranch, Buck, and we’ll go from there.”
Ellie slipped into the chair vacated by Larry, thinking it would be better to be seated directly across from Buck. She wasn’t sure Buck was ready to talk about anything, but as Larry had indicated, she and Buck had a lot to say to each other—providing Buck was willing to listen to the whole story and did not just write her off without an explanation.
Ellie felt badly about not informing Buck of his mother’s decisions earlier. In hindsight, she decided it had been wrong not to contact Buck immediately when his mother had become ill. But so much had happened so fast. Ellie hadn’t had the time to think things through.
And Mama Esther had asked her to remain silent, wanting to tell Buck herself in her own time.
But as it had turned out, Esther hadn’t had that time, and Buck had been hit over the head with what must feel to him like a good-size boulder.
“I’m sorry, Buck,” she apologized sympathetically, realizing she’d already said that but not knowing how else to start the conversation.
Buck buried his head in his hands with a groan and refused to look at her.
“Do you have a headache?” she asked softly, her fingers twitching with the need to reach for him. “I have some aspirin in the medicine cabinet I could get for you.”
Buck groaned again, louder this time. “No, thank you. I feel like my head is going to explode, but I don’t think aspirin is going to help.”
He looked up at her and almost smiled, the corner of his lip twitching upward just the slightest bit. It gave Ellie hope, even that hint of a smile. She smiled broadly in return, hoping he could grasp the compassion she felt for him.
“I don’t think anything will help me right now,” he said with a shake of his head, which then made him wince as if in agony—which he probably was, emotionally, at any rate, Ellie thought.
“Do you want to talk about it?”
“Do I have a choice?” he grumbled.
So much for hope.
Ellie’s heart dipped into her stomach, which tightened painfully. “We don’t have to talk right now,” she assured him, keeping her tone soft despite a rising sense of alarm, which was pealing like bells in her head. “Like Larry said, you can take as much time as you need. I’m sure you have a lot to work out in your own mind before you can even remotely consider a decision.”
Buck stared at her, his emerald green eyes wide, but said nothing.
Ellie clasped her hands in front of her. “Or maybe you’ve already made your decision.”
“Ellie,” Buck said slowly, “you know that what Larry told me changes everything.”
Ellie lifted an eyebrow. “Oh? In what way?”
She’d half expected him to toss her out on her ear and take the ranch over right away. He had the legal right to do just that. There were no formal rental agreements on the ranch. It wasn’t that kind of relationship.
Mama Esther had very much been a mother to her, especially these past few years.
“Ellie, I’m not going to take your home away from you,” Buck said as if he’d read her mind. “At least not right away, I won’t.”
“You must have had plans,” she responded. “For the money, I mean.”
“Plans,” Buck repeated. “Yeah. Right. Plans.” He paused and shifted, leaning heavily on the back of the chair. “I really don’t know what to do now.”
“It’s entirely your decision, Buck,” Ellie assured him, even if inwardly she felt like begging him to spare her ministry. “This is your ranch now.
“I know you said you would consider selling to me, but I’m in no position to buy.”
“To be honest, now that I’ve had time to think about it, I’m not positive I want to sell,” he said frankly. “I can’t see myself moving back to Ferrell, but the divorce wiped out my savings. It’s something to think on.”
All the more reason Ellie could and would not ask for favors, which left Ellie with nothing except the possibility of Buck coming back into her life on a permanent basis. She didn’t know how to feel about that.
Not without him making some serious concessions to her, and she wouldn’t ask him for that.
She stared out the west window, where the sun was setting, and suddenly had an idea she thought might help both of them. Maybe, just maybe, she could save her ministry after all. It was worth a shot, anyway.
“Do you and Tyler have a place to stay while you’re in town?” she asked.
Buck shook his head. “Nope. Planned to stay at the ranch.” He laughed, but it was a bitter sound. “Guess I should be looking for a hotel, huh?”
“Absolutely not,” she said emphatically. “You two are most welcome to stay here at McBride’s. It is, after all, your property, Buck.”
“I don’t want to impose,” he said gruffly, turning his gaze away from her.
“Don’t be silly. There are plenty of guest rooms here. I often have clients stay over for the week.”
Buck scoffed. “Like an overglorified bed-and-breakfast?” he guessed.
Ellie bristled and clasped her hands tighter. “Not at all like a bed-and-breakfast. Actually, that’s part of the reason I’m asking you to stay.”
“And what would that be?”
“So I can show you what I do here. I thought maybe if you saw firsthand all the good work I’m doing here, you might….” She stopped herself from completing the sentence.
“What am I going to see, Ellie?” Buck demanded, his voice now sounding irritated, if not downright angry. “That you sold out like the rest of the town? That you’re pulling in tourists who want to see what the country life is like for a day?”
“You have no idea what I do here,” she snapped back, more offended than she could say.
“So tell me,” he said, not sounding as if he was going to listen to her at all.
Not really.
“What makes you think this ranch is a tourist trap?” she demanded, suddenly defensive.
“The whole town is a tourist trap now, isn’t it?” he replied bitterly.
“That really bothers