Wanted: A Family. Janet Dean
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babies—each one pure as the first dusting of snow. “White. I’d like white.”
“That’s not as practical as I’d expect from you, but white it shall be.”
“I’ll use it for church and special occasions. I’ll get the yarn on my next trip to town.”
“I have enough money to pay for it. It’ll be my gift.” Her eyes flashed. “No arguing.”
“You win,” Callie said with a grin then sobered. “I’ve been asked to tell you something.”
Elise laid her needles down, met Callie’s gaze then looked away. “From your expression, I’m not sure I want to hear it.”
“Hearing what I have to say doesn’t mean you have to agree to anything, but I thought you should know.” She took Elise’s hands. “Sally and Albert Thompson are interested in adopting your baby.”
Elise sucked in a gulp of air. “They’ve wanted a baby forever.”
“They have. But what they want isn’t important. You need to make the decision that’s right for you and your baby.”
“Sally would be a wonderful mother, but— Oh, Callie, I know I’m young and don’t have a way to earn a living, but I want this baby.” She sighed. “Is that selfish?”
“If it is, then I’m selfish, too. We’re both facing some of the same issues. I’m not sure how I’ll handle all the expenses of raising a child, but with God’s help, I’ll find a way.”
“Mama said a child means fevers, defiance and turmoil. But hugs and jelly kisses compensate for every worry and sacrifice.” Her eyes glistened. “Taking the bad with the good—that’s love. I love my baby. I can’t let it go.”
“Then that’s settled.”
Tears brimmed in Elise’s eyes. “I don’t know what I would’ve done if you hadn’t taken me in, but I won’t live on your charity forever.”
“I’m sorry for the trouble between you and your father, but I enjoy your company.”
“I’ve been thinking. Do you think my knitted baby things, shawls, caps and mittens would sell? I want to help with expenses.”
“What a great idea! You’re a wonderful person, Elise.”
Elise’s face fell, as if she saw nothing good in herself. A husband would simplify her life. “We’ve never talked about this and I haven’t wanted to pry, but would you consider marrying the baby’s father? Or isn’t that an option?”
“He’s not from around here.” She withdrew her hands from Callie’s and knotted them in her lap. “Remember the trip I took to North Carolina to see my cousin Carol Ann?”
“Yes, you were excited about taking the train and getting away from the cold for a couple months.”
“I met Gaston at a square dance. I fell hard.” She sighed. “I sneaked out of the house to meet him several times. I got caught up in his kisses…one thing led to another.” Her cheeks flushed. “I was devastated when I had to leave him. We corresponded. I lived for those letters…” A sob tore from Elise’s lips and she hung her head. “I was such a fool.”
Callie laid a hand on Elise’s arm.
“Once I told Gaston about the baby, he…stopped writing. Aunt Audra said he must’ve left town the day he got the news.” Elise swiped at her tears. “My aunt blames herself. No one’s to blame but him. And me.” She met Callie’s eyes. “He said I was pretty and he loved me.”
“You are pretty.” Callie pulled a handkerchief from her sleeve and handed it to Elise.
She blew her nose. “I’m not using his sweet talk as an excuse for breaking God’s commandment. Papa wasn’t much for praise. Gaston’s words…were so different from what I was used to hearing from Papa. I believed every thing he said.”
The baby’s father wasn’t an answer, but would Elise’s dad relent and allow Elise to return home? “Can the rift between you and your father be mended?”
Fresh tears filled Elise’s eyes. “Papa doesn’t love me. How could he love me and say the things he’s said to me? Mama says he’s hurt and he’ll get over it.” Her lower lip trembled. “When?”
God gives His forgiveness quickly, at the speed of lightning. But mankind often took longer. “Have you asked your parents to forgive you?”
“More times than I can count. Mama’s forgiven me, but I’ve disappointed her.” She gave a strangled laugh. “I’ve disappointed myself. But Papa…”
“Give him time. Once the baby is here, he’ll come around.”
Elise fingered the yellow blanket in her lap. “I’ve asked God to pardon me, but I don’t feel forgiven.”
A lump formed in Callie’s throat. She understood. Too well. Hadn’t she asked for forgiveness for her part in bringing about Martin’s death? Yet as much as she knew Scripture, as easily as she could quote the Psalm—“As far as the east is from the west, so far hath He removed our transgressions from us”—sometimes she didn’t feel absolved. “The Bible makes it clear we’re free from sin when we repent. But sometimes it’s hard to feel pardoned. Perhaps clemency seems too easy, like we got off scot-free.”
Elise snorted. “Memories are longer than Methuselah’s beard. From what I’ve seen, folks expect forgiveness for their mistakes but aren’t quick to offer it. I don’t mind so much for myself, but I won’t be able to bear it if anyone looked down on my baby,” she said, her hand hovered over the movement of a little foot or hand.
How could anyone begrudge a kind word to an innocent child? Callie tilted up Elise’s chin. “When things look dark and you and I can’t see what lies ahead, we’ll have to rely on God to light the way. Will you try that with me? One step at a time?”
Elise offered a wobbly smile and nodded. “This unmarried forgiven expectant mother is on the march.”
Grinning, Callie glanced at the clock. “We’d better get on the march. We’re due to see Doc Wellman in less than an hour. After our appointment, we’ll stop at the Mercantile.” She pulled the money Sarah gave her from her pocket. “Your mother wants you to use this to buy things for your baby. She cares about you and your child.”
“I know she does, but she won’t go against her wedding vows and defy Papa.”
“Those vows are important.”
Vows. Callie had taken them and from that first week wondered—
She refused to finish the thought. Even if Martin had never matured, even if she’d had to carry the load for both of them her entire life, even if sometimes that load wearied her, she’d always be grateful for the baby she carried.
She forced her thoughts back to Elise. “Even if your father never changes his mind, you’ll have a home here with me.”
Elise burrowed into Callie’s open arms. “What would I do without you?”
“We’re in this together. We’ll be fine,” Callie spoke softly against Elise’s copper curls, “if we seek God’s guidance at the start of each new day.”
Elise straightened and met Callie’s eyes, the misery in their depths banged against Callie’s heart. “If I’d done that last summer, I…I wouldn’t be in this mess. I’m a fool for falling for a footloose man.”
Through the lace curtains in the parlor window, Callie watched Mr. Smith climb the porch steps. A strong, handsome…drifter. Her breath caught. Footloose described Jacob Smith. She’d remember that. Both she and Elise had learned they could be fooled by a man.
Elise rose and tugged Callie to her feet, hugging her or trying to, but her round belly