All the Romance You Need This Christmas: 5-Book Festive Collection. Romy Sommer
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time, Jess. I think you’ve been scared of a lot of things. Maybe coming here – maybe this is where you need to be in order to finally face those fears.’
I frowned again. My head was actually beginning to hurt with all the thinking it’d had to do over the past couple of days. I’d suddenly been thrust from my safe, but ultimately sad life back home in England, into this magical, wonderful little winter wonderland, and the things that were going on here were enough to make anyone think they were in the middle of some elaborate dream.
‘You do whatever it is you have to do, Jess, in order to face those fears head on. I will see you soon.’ And with a flash of that smile he turned to go, leaving me with a sudden warm glow and a slow realisation that he was right. I had been scared of a lot of things for such a long time. But facing up to things wasn’t something I’d been willing to do. Until now.
‘Everything okay?’ Zac asked, sliding back down into his seat opposite me.
I nodded, slowly looking up to face him, and when I did it almost took my breath away. Now that the hat had been removed and I could see his face properly, he really was beautiful. He had the most gorgeous green eyes that were filled with a warmth I hadn’t seen since – since Jase; his chin rough with dark stubble making him look rugged and sexy, his black hair all messed-up, which only made him look all the more attractive because he carried it off so well.
‘Jess…’
I took a deep breath, narrowing my eyes as I saw Mikku by the café door, smiling that smile at me, and once more that far-off distant voice seemed to emanate from somewhere, only this time it seemed to be getting nearer, whispering in my ear, words I couldn’t quite make out but whatever it was saying, I was suddenly overtaken by a strength I hadn’t felt for a long time.
‘Zac, I’m…’ I looked at him, at this man who’d come into my life so suddenly and unwittingly turned it upside down. ‘I’m sorry.’ I felt the control start to take hold, and another inner sigh of relief swept over me. Because, as I looked at this man, I knew exactly what I had to do next; knew exactly what I wanted to do. Zac had given me back something I’d needed to find, feelings I’d needed to feel again. I’d be a fool to walk away from this and I knew I couldn’t anyway. I just couldn’t. ‘It’s been a strange couple of days, that’s all. I guess I’m still getting used to this place.’
He smiled and my heart leapt in a way it hadn’t done since Jase had first walked into my little shop all those years ago. This was the first time I’d felt that little flutter like a hundred and one butterflies dancing around inside me. How could I ignore that? I’d never thought I could ever feel that way again, yet I was feeling it now. And it was nice. It felt – it felt good. ‘Yeah. This place sure seems to have a habit of making weird and wonderful things happen, that’s for sure.’ Zac sighed.
I narrowed my eyes. ‘Oh yeah? Like what?’ Was he experiencing things even half as weird as I was?
Zac shook his head, dismissing that statement with a brief wave of his hand. ‘So, what brings you here to Lapland, Jess?’
‘I needed a break, somewhere a bit different, y’know? And I’ve always wanted to visit here; we’ve – I’ve always wanted to see the Northern Lights, and I hear this is as good a place as any to catch them.’
Zac nodded, gazing down at his hands cupped around his mug of hot chocolate.
‘Have you seen them?’ I asked, a small part of me hoping he hadn’t, because if there was anyone I wanted to share that experience with now it was him – for so many reasons.
‘Not yet,’ he replied, his green eyes fixing me with a look that sent a shiver right down my spine and I felt my skin break out in goosebumps, even though I was anything but cold, sitting here in front of this roaring fire. ‘But they’re something I’ve always wanted to see, too.’
I smiled, suddenly feeling as if a light had just been switched on somewhere deep inside me. Everything was beginning to feel a whole lot brighter; things were actually starting to make sense and I hadn’t felt that way for a long time. I wasn’t actually sure I’d felt anything for the past year. I’d been numb, I suppose, except for that overwhelming sadness and an aching loss that I’d never thought I could ever fill – until now.
‘Maybe we could try and make sure we see them together then,’ Zac said, his eyes locking onto mine and I suddenly felt as though I wanted to laugh out loud, tell the world that I could now see an end to the dark days that had taken over my life since Jase had gone. But he hadn’t gone, had he? Not really. And he never would. No matter what happened here.
‘I’d like that,’ I replied, still smiling. In fact, now I’d started smiling I wasn’t altogether sure I could stop. I took a sip of hot chocolate, letting the beautiful, rich, warm liquid slip down my throat. It was the most comforting feeling – that, and sitting here with Zac. ‘So, Zac… what brings you to Lapland?’
He ran his fingers through his hair, making it stick up in small, random spikes. ‘I’m a ski instructor. I’m here for the season, teaching a few days a week. The rest of the time I’m reliving my youth. I’m still a big kid at heart, I’m afraid. The idea of growing up kinda scares me, so throwing myself down snow-covered mountains and taking to my snowboard at the age of thirty-eight doesn’t faze me in the slightest.’
I couldn’t help but smile again. Jase had also been a big kid at heart with his love of motorbikes and surfing, his need to have that adrenalin rush he would sometimes crave.
‘And what about the band?’ I asked, taking a long sip of the delicious hot chocolate.
‘We’re all ski instructors, and we put the band together when we realised we all really wanted to be rock stars but had left it a bit too late to live that dream.’ He shrugged, smiling. ‘But, hey, they love us here. We do a few gigs in the bars and pubs around town. It’s fun.’
‘You’re good,’ I smiled back, watching the excitement in his face as he talked about the band. ‘My brother, Matt, and my dad have a rock band. They do gigs locally back home, got quite a good following too. I guess you could say music’s in our blood.’
Zac looked right at me, his eyes almost burning into mine. ‘That’s something else we have in common then.’
I couldn’t say anything for a second, his gaze throwing me off-balance slightly. ‘Have you… have you been a ski instructor long?’ I asked, sitting back in my chair, suddenly feeling relaxed and calm, and happy. Yeah. I was happy. And I’d almost forgotten what that felt like.
Zac smiled again. ‘Yeah, for a good few years now. I’ve done most of the resorts in Europe, and a couple in Canada, so… well; I’ve always wanted to come here, to Lapland. And this year I thought it was time to act on that urge. I thought it was time to see just what this place has to offer before I go home.’
His eyes never left mine as he spoke and I felt as though I never wanted to leave this gorgeous little café with its fairy lights and its Christmas music. I felt safe in here. ‘Where exactly is home, then?’ I asked, taking another sip of hot chocolate.
‘Edinburgh. Not all that far from you, I’m guessing from your accent,’ he said. ‘So, where exactly in north-east England do you hail from then, Jessie?’
‘Tynemouth. Do you know it?’
Zac nodded. ‘I’ve been surfing there a few times, at Longsands. Have you always lived there?’ His eyes were fixed firmly on me but I broke the stare briefly, looking over at the fire still burning away within its festive surround.
‘Yeah. I have,’ I replied, suddenly realising that I hadn’t really spread my wings all that much. I was forty-two years old yet I’d never left the safe and secure confines of my home town. But I knew that was because I’d never really felt the need, not when I’d had everything I could ever want right there with me. Nothing else had mattered with Jase by my side.
‘And, what do you do there, in