Wrong Knickers for a Wednesday: A funny novel about learning to love yourself. Paige Nick

Читать онлайн книгу.

Wrong Knickers for a Wednesday: A funny novel about learning to love yourself - Paige  Nick


Скачать книгу
and pushes out my boobs in all the right places, giving me a devious extra cup size or two. When I breathe out, I hear some of the Velcro in the seams complaining, making room for all of me to settle in the limited space. Feeling fat again, my moment of confidence vaporised, I waddle closer to the mirror. My eye wanders to all Marilyn’s clothes stuffed in the closet. Curious, I rifle through the hangers. Dresses, blouses, and at least six of the identical replica Marilyn Monroe white halter-neck dress. I pick up a pair of glitzy white strappy stilettos from the bottom of the cupboard. They’re gorgeous, but how the hell does she walk in them? They must be at least six inches tall and weigh a ton. I slip my bare foot into the right shoe, wondering how it will look with the Grammy dress I’m wearing. My foot swims in it; it’s at least three sizes too big. I’m about to look for a size on the sole, but I hear footsteps coming down the passage. A second later, there’s a rattle at the door handle. Panicked, I flip Marilyn’s shoe back into the cupboard with a thud and leap away from the incriminating evidence, trying to act natural, but knowing that I probably look guilty as hell.

      ‘Oh. You’re still here?’ she says in her pouty-whispery Marilyn voice. ‘Quelle surprise!’ She looks from me to the cupboard and back again, and then eyes the red Grammy dress.

      ‘Get used to me,’ I say, shoving a hand on my hip with more confidence than I feel. ‘I’m not going anywhere.’

      ‘God, in that dress I hope not,’ she counters.

      I sag and breathe out, and the Velcro gives way with a loud rip. Marilyn grabs her bag from her bedside table and leaves with a snort.

      *

      The dressing-room is deserted. Which gives me a chance to sit on my torn chair and look into the light-bulb-framed mirror. I tug at a passport-sized photograph of a small, smiling blonde girl that’s wedged between the mirror and the frame. Gwen Stefani must have left in a hurry, and Marilyn missed this little memento when she tossed the other pictures. I look for Gwen Stefani-like features and wonder if this little girl is her daughter, sister or maybe a niece? Maybe even herself in a different life? I wonder if this little girl knows what her mom, sister, aunt or future self does for a living.

      Empty like this, three hours before show time, the dressing-room feels echoey and overly bright. The overhead fluorescent lights buzz like the ghosts of hairdryers.

      Paris offered to show me around before we opened, and I want to get ready first. I also want to avoid dressing in front of all these perfect, surgically enhanced women, which is ridiculous, since they’re all bound to see me near-naked a little later. I tuck the photograph into my bag, too sentimental to toss it. I pull out the purple jumpsuit, together with the same black wedges I wore last night. (It had taken me twenty minutes to wipe off the puke.) They’re the only pair of shoes in Nat’s suitcase that I’ll be able to dance in without breaking my neck. I need to feel as stable as possible for this, whether the real Rihanna would approve of low wedges or not. I shove my backpack and handbag into the locker that has my name on it, and now contains all my worldly possessions. I wonder how many other legends have done the same thing over the years. Bette Midler? Roxette? Maybe even Barbra Streisand?

      Конец ознакомительного фрагмента.

      Текст предоставлен ООО «ЛитРес».

      Прочитайте эту книгу целиком, купив полную легальную версию на ЛитРес.

      Безопасно оплатить книгу можно банковской картой Visa, MasterCard, Maestro, со счета мобильного телефона, с платежного терминала, в салоне МТС или Связной, через PayPal, WebMoney, Яндекс.Деньги, QIWI Кошелек, бонусными картами или другим удобным Вам способом.

iVBORw0KGgoAAAANSUhEUgAAAu4AAARwCAYAAAC1odHDAAAABmJLR0QA/wD/AP+gvaeTAAAACXBI WXMAAC4jAAAuIwF4pT92AAAAB3RJTUUH4AcVBhcUFKPmxgAAABl0RVh0Q29tbWVudABDcmVhdGVk IHdpdGggR0lNUFeBDhcAACAASURBVHja7L3ZjiRJlqb3HRFVtcXdw2OPjNyqsvburi42C9M17CYH BDiYwQAk54YXvCL4CgSfgG/AV+AdSRDTgybBm25iuICcxjRZ1dNLde25RmVmhO+bLaoicnghaubm 5raomamZe0S6Ap6Rbm5mqrId+c8v/zlH/nK3o8y5VAQA0blvnXHJ2Pes8l1vzqViEA3D/on/f9uf 9278Jq+R2z9+t6U/7vrrzb5EDKCobtJObM6Gatm+qnviou9f9/fV/Txvjk1+Pfbhdc/nN2F+rLLH 3Hack1SdzGVzFuis8UYrolT+nq/MBjdcGKP9MzAg3LqFs7nJfDvbP38c39iZOhyPuLHNXsfT+iN+ Vr8C/fVmjfnCG9+NbHrjNnTRDX78mae3f1E7OPn9i62pq9+3GrB8M8mXq+O1nI1Zbg69/jgkrHW+ 3o49ubo9u4n1sQhBbqp2QD0b7Zu4IqTGPtHX4NnvANf1fpMl+0Zekzla13qXsWfRW/S8ssB95Q2a uzc19qv0/22wT3oLnmuVPtPXbD5usp26Yjukhj6QGx4HXcMY3oY96M3AOaZ6I6oyAVp6bzqT3XhT rvW1Z72spMqldOm2LrjbysqO990yfbnJ/q9njuoYk/VmzU2V+HOza379m/Ni/VqntGN2/y7S/7X3 ytQ9a902aPk1NVgjt9uG17fOq7335vaMUZuw2JhMbpeKoBu0MdVs2qT5+jrNwdt90rsIQW7qX2Bm 5gSYBeqXub+KKX/KY4bh/aV8lnV3dhiZwNfvJ3P647INy03+Sd8/7/sGz1nluHV8PMf7e3EDYRYw aGbOnDA3tMDCwgZg9HkX6f9p7Z3V/vExW2bNrc9whoprfJJzZBaaI7Pm1Pj9xo3m6N/r6M/1gKx5 7R//u96YdnfeprTIpnXZpvpswCo2bdLnV/2+qs7GsvrdWXuSVtiz5tn0Ku2/dJjmf/9tl9eN2oTF xuSyD0ZtnGhASlwhU/r30lEwK9uQcZumE3FFvXvuTe7h0/tzPc80CUdVW2OTn6d2jfsk5mDV4NZZ mrNRjThc1VaKXmpqNwNKJr3Kwn22iH5skpZ0HnuzCLsz/t7x/l5mw6k20ev5nk2Bknn9Mfq8yzDW 4+2dB4KG62Hq/K+m99vE+hm3D4Ng7es2QCfMfYEw+H3C1Bx5TeN/GP2qwWeG7JbqyGdk5Dtk+LqU W+q1MRywVhomKEXkskmj/5ZGQyb9rfz3Ghk2+CpRZhNllzZpORt8e+Ns6kmYMGU96ZTtb2E7uZxN vxF7dWXtBMa7dRbOqCMGYFX7uqae2uj8n3wfZdLLcgXnLE4iTI+tm97n056vekzAeAxCRYyzgT1I xnDjutdctT16ev8my0+o6ZvFbPAtMyyjTvldF7jf+K4tSy3Y2c9Tve2KDrf5Rfts+f6u83664ueF ZXT80elath2yfkOvY7/oIh/SMSBW9Xm1YvvneJBSU7un3UYnjIdO6Ccdwcc6+LOMdZWMvV9QVcQa xIJaRYyAAWNLgGEMYjS+JgpWEKtgA5IoYgET4utC+TdBRBAJ8e82QKJgFBJFjSDm8vuv7KaiqIt4 HSPxOexIsz3gNf7dxx91Ak7AGVBBvaIe1Jf/HwQcaCFoYaIvEAAvhMF3OVAX4neFacBfR5yECXNg 7F8Z/bssu8bXT5LEYNI59kRHplwY+T2ih6tPHi7nlxiJ84rY3xriPBgh5UaA7MjkZYJN0DjeA79N 9HqUhwJBFyB6Bo6YMndv0QmO5/jvChgrYBWsIklcW8P9Mwi+q+Diw4vVsS1Rrz/gyLyThefTDKMz BgmuOOs6Zo5VJkOISY7ztdcvfxRBRBeY76usB13itUVxyip7/Kp4YNbnZIXvW6TPpQJuXCtgmDBm i41PsvzALudJTmIeBnuz6OTf6/diqzCA42zVctHmy9xfgq6+7qaBtBVPbxdljhZmmnQZT36c3Cy3 s1W8dJ3lZ8rVyTlxU5phSAZIdZTt1SlzRWqY/zryjColq6xVD+qmA71Rh0PkshvG+8bE/rrcHHU4 TqO/IxEgqQw2Sr18z8h9VRXTMJgmkHpMZpCGYlKQ1GBSQTIwScBakIZgGh5peEwbpBGQDCQFSQWb BkwmmCSCEmkotBw0HWQKTYXhewW1Y9uMUbQDIY/vsy2DyQRs7B/NIfQV7SvkivZBOwYuUuim4AWf K76vhL7g+4rmAh2DPxf8hSHkWoJ4oegpIRe0p/gLJXQF8nAJ3rU8jQglcAljoEZHgI6WDsHo3yjn SCjX4Jw95tp624Dk9dpa0Sm2z0Y/S0z8/+jQDUC1XDrRtgTnVjBNizZCXOY9g+8EtGDoIEUHq3QA VKaCZzHlDpsoiuIRApfDBFGrakSxMtCtVtvIrwJ3mW3/RUd+uLqmJB7bJy2godAI2LbFZLH9qkBh 6L/0hLMARXQmp86J0TlVAuc43/TqPFxknug4oJbhaZOMOlKmtKZS/r9o+W/598EcDyNAI1zaRNXL 17T0plRLrbmPbdDyplfmn2yeIZ68Di+JjboxSV3gddaeruXzL3K6vBDOGBBDq46PbK5Ppj5ClTzu qwG9r3be75ntH2cPJrx2lU2Qa3IApdSnTdu4BsbN6JXf1QwmcKhj7i30ujLuqJlR1LC4vziV4Z1M gskALA9kDVfeYq7GLQx/v/xqaSRIEsB6yMA2UiQr2SojJcskQ2lG3ADKB/ICwRCKgM89OBCfRDCX j+1sMjKHBic3ExyxS9

Скачать книгу