Tuk-Tuk to the Road. Antonia Bolingbroke-Kent
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of the Arctic Circle, the summer temperature here should be a balmy 20 °C.
First on our Russian agenda will be the city of Chelyabinsk, a key centre of military production during the Soviet era and scene of the world’s worst nuclear accident before Chernobyl. The city is also the last metropolis on the eastern side of the fabled Urals, the geographical divide between Europe and Asia. As far as mountains go, however, they are little more than a wrinkle on the earth’s surface, and our three-wheeled friend should tuk over them without any problems.
On our western descent of the Urals we’ll go through Ufa, birthplace of Rudolf Nureyev and capital of the self-consciously autonomous Bashkortostan Republic, before tukking through the southern tip of Tatarstan and into the Volga region. This is the heartland of Russia. ‘Mother Volga’ is one of the nation’s most enduring symbols as well as Europe’s longest river, at 2303 miles. We’ll be travelling through the area at the best time of year, when the river’s banks become a haven for swimmers, sun worshippers and sybarites. As we tuk down the Volga we’ll take in the cities of Samara and Saratov. The latter was home to Yuri Gagarin, the first man in space.
Next stop is Volgograd, a day’s tukking down the Volga from Saratov. Better known by its former name, Stalingrad, the city was the scene of the Second World War’s bloodiest battle. At least 600 000 German troops died here, and a further 180 000 were captured by the Soviets. The total number of Russian dead is unknown, but again the figure is probably around 600 000.
This will be an opportune spot for Team Ting Tong to relax, refuel and prepare for the final leg of the odyssey. We might even indulge in the odd vodka, knowing the legendary Russian propensity for the drink.
From Volgograd it’s almost a straight line due west to England, via Lviv, Krakow, Prague, Cologne, Brussels and the Channel Tunnel.
Random country facts: the name ‘Ukraine’ translates as ‘borderland’ or ‘on the edge’. Ukraine is one of the world’s main centres of sugar production.
Ukraine gained its independence from Russia in August 1991 and is so far unblighted by mass tourism. Oxen still plough the fields in many parts and rural areas are yet to be tainted by the encroaches of the modern world.
Our first major pit-stop will be Kharkiv, 250 miles north west of the Russian border on the M03 via the towns of Krasny Luch and Slovyansk. Eastern Ukraine is an area little visited by tourists. During the Soviet era this was a military industrial centre; today it is the business (and mafia) end of the country.
At Kharkiv, Ukraine’s second largest city, we’ll take the M03 west for a further two days to the capital Kiev, the apotheosis of the nation’s new-found wealth. Here, old women selling corncobs rub shoulders with Prada-clad urbanites, and blacked out SUVs and Mercedes are the norm. If time allows, we’ll park up, kick back and check out some of the sights—mummified monks at the Caves Monastery, Independence Square and the Chernobyl Museum (the destroyed reactor is a mere 60 miles north of the capital), to name a few. But we’ll have little time to loiter. Next stop is Lviv, 400 miles west on the M06.
Commonly billed as ‘the Florence of the East’ and ‘the new Prague’, Lviv is a city full of beauty and historical interest—and the obligatory Soviet-era tower blocks. Lonely Planet describes it as ‘a true gem that is only now starting to get the attention it deserves’. We’ll stop here for a night before the final lap of our Ukrainian tukathon. From here it’s less than 50 miles west to the Polish border at Shehyni.
Random country facts: Poland shares its borders with seven countries. Chopin and Copernicus both hailed from Poland.
By the time we reach Poland, the trickiest parts of the trip should be behind us. We’ll have put over 2000 miles between us and the Central Asian steppes, and Brighton will be well within our reach. We hope!
We’ll spend less than a week skirting across the southern underbelly of Poland, going via Rzeszow, Krakow and Opole before entering the Czech Republic 60 miles east of Prague.
Krakow is Poland’s most historic city and was the royal capital for more than 500 years. Amazingly it was almost unscathed by the Second World War, which ravaged Wroclaw and Warsaw. Today it is a World Heritage Site. No other city in Poland has so many historic buildings and monuments, and nowhere else will you encounter such vast collections of art. This is a city not to be missed and we’ll take a day out of our home run to explore its treasures.
Krakow is also famous for its close proximity to Auschwitz, a name synonymous with Nazi brutality and the horrors of the Holocaust. The camp is just south of our route and will certainly be on our itinerary if time allows.
This area of Poland,Upper Silesia,is heavily developed and industrialised and home to ten per cent of the population. It doesn’t promise to be the most scenic part of our adventure so we’ll open up the throttle and push on to the Czech Republic via Opole in Lower Silesia.
Random country facts: Pilsner and Dvorak are two of the Czech Republic’s most famous exports. The national sport is European handball.
The Czech Republic will be a short but sweet fragment of our tukathon. We’ll cut 200 miles across the heart of the country in about five days. We could do it in less, but since this is one of Europe’s most historic countries it would be foolish to do so.
Prague is the obvious highlight, but it might come as a shock after the tourist-free expanses of Russia and Eastern Europe we’ll have experienced. If we can bear the hordes, we’ll stop here for a night and do the tourist thing before pushing westward towards Germany. Our route will take us through the dark forests and fairytale castles of West Bohemia as well as the ancient spa town of Karlovy Vary. Since Emperor Charles IV allegedly discovered the hot springs here in 1358, luminaries such as Beethoven, Karl Marx, Chopin and Peter the Great have all made the journey here to drink the curative waters.
Last up in the Czech Republic will be Cheb, a medieval town built on the banks of the Ohre River.
Random country facts: the autobahns were begun by Hitler in the 1930s as a work-relief programme for the unemployed. Germany is the second most populous country in Europe after Russia.
Once into Germany we are well and truly on the home stretch. We’ll probably spend only a day here,speeding west on the autobahn. Cologne’s famous cathedral could be on the agenda if time allows.
Random country facts: Belgium is officially trilingual. The Belgians are the world’s greatest beer drinkers.
Belgium and France will pass by so quickly we’ll hardly notice we’re there. Having spent a month traversing China, it’s likely we’ll tick off Belgium, France and the UK in a single day. I’m sure we’ll find time to sample some of those famous chocolates though.
Random country facts: France has the highest per-capita consumption of cheese in the world. Napoleon suffered from ailurophobia, fear of cats.
France will be notable only as the last foreign destination of Tuk to the Road. After 12 weeks—we hope—on the road, we’ll drive