Chapter Thirty-One

      A month passed and at five one Saturday afternoon, Kevin was sitting on the side of their bed, Pearl beside him. She was looking scrawny and miserable, and he tensed, fed up with her constant complaints.

      ‘I’m at the end of my tether, Kevin. I don’t feel that Johnny is our baby. Your parents seem to have him all the time, and every morning when I wake up I find him in their bed.’

      ‘Whose fault is that? You still don’t hear him crying in the night, and you should thank God that my mother does. She looks awful lately, with dark circles under her eyes from lack of sleep, but you don’t hear her complaining.’

      ‘I can’t understand why I don’t hear him. I wasn’t a heavy sleeper before Johnny was born, so why now?’

      ‘How should I know?’ Kevin shifted on the bed, hoping that Pearl had said her piece, but no, she was off again.

      ‘I’m grateful that she hears Johnny, but it’s getting me down that she undermines everything I do. I’m fine with Johnny when we’re on our own, but when your mother’s around she acts as though I’m incapable of looking after him and it’s turning me into a bundle of nerves.’

      ‘Don’t exaggerate, and I’m sure she only telling you what’s best for the boy.’

      ‘What’s best in her opinion. But Johnny’s our son, not hers. As soon as the café closes your mother shoots up here to take him over. Where is he now? He’s not in here with us, that’s for sure. He’s in the living room with your parents.’

      ‘He’s their first grandson and they’re bound to be a bit doting.’

      ‘Please, Kevin, go and get him.’

      ‘Why me?’

      ‘Your mother won’t give him to me. Please, love, she won’t say no to you.’

      With a sigh Kevin rose from the bed. ‘All right, anything for a quiet life.’

      As Kevin stepped into the living room it was to see Johnny on the floor, his mother changing his nappy. He grinned as his son’s fists waved, but then his chubby little hands moved down, one of them touching his tiny penis.

      ‘Stop that,’ Dolly admonished as she slapped his hand away. ‘You’re a dirty little boy.’

      Kevin’s face darkened and, rushing over, he snatched his son up into his arms. ‘Don’t say that, Mum. It ain’t right.’

      ‘Say what?’

      ‘That he’s dirty when he touches himself. He’s only a baby, for Christ’s sake, and doesn’t understand.’

      ‘It’s best to start as you mean to go on, and I intend to break that nasty habit as soon as I can.’

      Kevin’s anger mounted, words spilling out of his mouth without thought. ‘It’s perfectly natural – something that grown men do too. What’s wrong with giving ourselves a bit of pleasure?’

      ‘Kevin, don’t speak to me like that – it’s disgusting!’

      Johnny started to cry and Kevin heaved a deep breath in an effort to calm down, his voice now registering controlled anger. ‘Mum, there’s nothing disgusting about masturbation. In future, if my son wants to play with himself, he can. You made me feel dirty as a child – even going so far as to tell me you wouldn’t love me if I touched myself. Well, you ain’t doing the same to Johnny.’

      He saw his mother’s jaw gape, but before she had time to speak he turned to leave, managing a mocking smile as he added, ‘And anyway, you needn’t worry. I think it’ll be some time before Johnny manages to toss himself off.’

      ‘You filthy boy! How dare you speak to me like that? Get out of my sight.’

      ‘Don’t worry, I’m going,’ Kevin snarled as he stomped from the room.

      Pearl took Johnny from his arms, comforting the squalling child, whilst Kevin flopped down beside her. The baby quietened and Kevin watched as Pearl expertly folded a nappy, laying their son across her lap as she fastened the triangular shape in place with a pin.

      Kevin was still seething. Deciding that he was safe, that the coast was clear now, he was filled with renewed determination. ‘It’s about time we found a place of our own, Pearl.’

      Her head swung round, her eyes wide with delight. ‘Oh, I’d love that.’

      ‘Right, and to raise some money I’d better see about finding a job.’

      ‘The local paper is due out tomorrow. There’s bound to be something advertised.’

      Kevin smiled faintly. It wasn’t employment he was seeking, but Pearl didn’t know that. What he needed was to raise money quickly and that would be impossible, working in a sodding engineering factory.

      He stretched out on the bed, already formulating a plan. He’d considered this job ages ago but, thinking it too risky, had discarded the idea. Now, though, the need to get away from his mother overcame his doubts.

      Sleep eluded Pearl. At last Kevin was going to get a job. Excited about the future, unusually she was still awake after midnight.

      She turned onto her side, but had just snuggled under the blankets when the bedroom door swung slowly open. In the dim light Pearl saw her mother-in-law creeping into the room, moving stealthily to the cot, her hands reaching inside.

      Pearl swiftly turned on the bedside light. ‘What are you doing?’

      Dolly visibly jumped, her voice blustering as she said, ‘I thought I heard Johnny crying.’

      ‘He hasn’t made a sound.’

      ‘How would you know? When was the last time you heard him crying in the night?’

      ‘What’s going on?’ Kevin asked as he pushed himself up on one elbow. ‘Can’t a bloke get a bit of sleep?’

      ‘Your mother said she heard Johnny crying, but I’ve been awake all this time and can assure you he didn’t make a sound.’

      ‘Well, I must have been mistaken,’ Dolly snapped. ‘Anyway, now I’m here I might as well take him. No