Josephine Cox 3-Book Collection 1: Midnight, Blood Brothers, Songbird. Josephine Cox
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now, and by the way he shot round that corner, he’ll not bother you again.’
Calmed by his quiet voice and gentle manner, Eileen looked up with tearful eyes. ‘You’re a good man, Thomas.’ Taking his work-worn hand into hers, she gently kissed it. ‘And I’m a silly old woman. They should put me away for what I’ve done to my Libby.’ Eileen had fleeting moments of lucidity, and this was one of them.
Glancing to where her daughter was making a pot of fresh tea and some scrambled eggs, she gave an almighty sigh: ‘My lovely girl!’ When she wiped her eyes, Thomas felt her sorrow. ‘She never married, you know. And it’s all because of me.’
Thomas gently quietened her fears: ‘I’m sure she’ll find the right man one of these days,’ he promised. ‘Besides, she’s only thirty, so there’s time enough yet.’
Eileen was amazed. ‘Oh dear! Is she thirty already?’
‘I believe so, yes.’
‘So, she really is wasting her life, then?’
‘No.’ Thomas had a special fondness for these two women. ‘Libby loves taking care of you. You know yourself, she would have it no other way.’
In her mind, Eileen was beginning to drift again.
‘Thirty isn’t old, but it’s not young either, is it, Thomas?’ When she looked away, he felt her pain. ‘It was me who brought that bad man home. I didn’t mean to. I was looking for my Ian. I need him, and Libby needs a father.’ She gave a little sigh. ‘My little girl is thirty, and all these years she’s been without a daddy.’ Her voice broke. ‘And I’ve been without a husband.’ She added gratefully, ‘Oh, I know you’ve been kind to Libby and me, but you’re not her father, are you, Thomas? And she’s thirty already.’ She looked at him curiously. ‘You do know that, don’t you?’
Thomas smiled. ‘Oh, my! What I wouldn’t give, to be thirty again!’
‘You and me . . .’ Eileen stroked the back of his hand, ‘we’re old, aren’t we, Thomas?’
He laughed out loud. ‘Aw, I don’t know about that.’ While he was well into his late sixties, Eileen was only just sixty. And though at times her mind was broken, she was still an attractive woman, with her high cheekbones and sparkly brown eyes. She had a kind heart and, when her intelligence was not overshadowed, she displayed a bright, appealing sense of humour.
‘D’you really think Libby will find her man? I mean, you’re not just trying to pacify a silly old woman, are you?’
He shook his head. ‘You’re not to worry, sweetheart. Libby will be all right. And you mustn’t be so hard on yourself. You’ve had a lot to contend with.’
She smiled up at him. ‘You know, don’t you?’ she murmured. ‘You understand the way it is.’
‘I do, yes,’ he replied softly. ‘I understand, because I’ve been there.’ He reflected a moment, before going on: ‘Sometimes, when you can’t bear to think about the cruelty of life, you hide inside yourself.’
Eileen was amazed at how Thomas always managed to say the right thing. ‘Is that what I do – hide inside myself ?’ She felt somehow pacified. ‘I never knew that.’
Shifting positions, he sat down beside her. Sliding his arm round her shoulders, he drew her close to him. ‘You’re not the only one, Eileen, love,’ he confided. ‘At some time or another, we all have a need to hide inside ourselves.’
‘Do we really?’ Something in his manner made her curious.
‘Yes, sweetheart, we do.’
She leaned into his embrace. ‘Thomas?’
‘Yes, m’dear?’
‘Do you hide sometimes?’
He smiled, a slow, rueful smile that carried him back over the years. ‘Oh yes. Like I said, we all do.’
‘Why is that, Thomas?’
He took a moment to search for the right words. ‘Well, sometimes, when life gets too hard for me to handle, it helps me to go to a quiet place, somewhere deep inside, where nobody else can follow.’
For reasons he would rather not say, Thomas knew all about that. ‘It’s my own little haven, y’see?’ He glanced down into her upturned brown eyes, and his heart was pained. ‘Are you feeling better now, m’dear?’
Eileen’s smile was beautiful. ‘Yes, thank you, Thomas. You always help me.’
He smiled back. ‘Well, that’s good. I’m always glad to help, as you know. And don’t ever forget, I’m always here for you and Libby. You know that as well, don’t you?’
‘Mmm.’ Already her mind was shifting.
From across the kitchen, Libby heard their conversation. Deeply touched by his genuine kindness, she listened while buttering toast. These two people were not angels, by any means. They each had tempers when riled and they took no prisoners. Yet they were kind and generous, and beautiful in spirit.
Over the years, since she was a little girl, Libby had looked up to Thomas, who had proved to be a great comfort to her mother. Libby had strong affection for this dear man, and the friendship was between Thomas and her mother was a joy to see.
Their innocent chatter made her yearn to have a man of her own. To be making plans for the future. To be someone’s sweetheart. To walk down the aisle, plan a home, and be a mother. And most of all, to share the burden that life had become. And yet, she had coped, because of her deep, abiding love for her mother. No one had wanted this sorry situation, but they still had each other, and the ever-watchful Thomas.
Like Thomas, she understood about that special hiding-place where no one else could follow. Libby had often visited that special place inside herself, to dream and wish and hope. It was a wonderful, brief respite from the way her life had evolved. Though when she came back to reality, nothing had changed. Nothing ever would. But for that short, precious time, when carried along by her imagination, she was free to dream.
In many ways, Libby considered herself blessed. She had her health and strength and so did her mother, apart from her slowly deteriorating mental state; although thankfully, Libby was able to make her days as normal and enjoyable as possible.
The two of them had a pretty home, paid for by the man who later abandoned them. She and her mother were warm and cosy, and they shared a deep bond of love. One way and another, there was enough coming in to feed and clothe them both, even though they had to watch every penny.
Libby often reminded herself that there were many people worse off than them. She counted her blessings. Life threw challenges at you: some you could deal with and some you couldn’t. Life was no easy ride for anyone, she knew that. She also knew that all you could do was to get through the best way you could.
‘Breakfast is ready, Mum. Thomas, would you like some scrambled eggs? I’ve made plenty.’
As the three sat and enjoyed a hearty meal, Eileen began worrying again. She was sad because her darling girl was nearly thirty years old and still not wed. So there were no children or grandchildren to love. Eileen truly believed it was all her fault, even though both Libby and Thomas tried to convince her otherwise.
‘It’s like Thomas said – I just haven’t met the right man yet,’ Libby assured her cheerfully. ‘One day I’ll be filling the shelves in the supermarket, and just like on the TV ads, some handsome fella will pick up the tin of beans I accidentally dropped, and before you know it, I’ll have met my future husband and father of my ten children.’
‘Hey, you’d best not have ten children,’ Eileen teased. ‘I won’t be able to fit them all on my knee!’ But in her more lucid moments, Eileen knew the truth: her daughter had been robbed of marriage and children, and all because of having to look after her.
‘I had a husband,’