Montana Gold. Genell Dellin
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held the look he gave her and he felt his heart beat in his chest. When they’d lived in that trailer, they’d been lovers. That was for damn sure.
“That was a good old camper,” she said, smiling as she took a sip. “Think of the thousands of miles we put on it.”
“And how many chaps and jackets you had to paint to buy the gas when I wasn’t winning,” he said.
He loved her smile. He always had loved it.
“Can’t you just see us? That old faded turquoise camper with the rusty red one-horse hooked on behind? How is Tardy Girl doing, by the way?”
“She’s great. I’m keeping her in where it’s warm. We’ll go see her in a little while.”
“Those were great days, Chase. I’ll never forget them.”
“Sometimes I think we oughtta try it again,” he said lightly. “At least here in this house, you’d have a kitchen big enough to cook in and scratch your butt at the same time.”
She almost sloshed her coffee out. “Chase! That’s not a very appetizing image.”
But she was laughing. She was still smiling that smile.
“Well, how about it? I ain’t had no good homemade cookies since we lived in that faded old turquoise trailer.”
“You have so! I make you some for Christmas every single year!”
“Or biscuits,” he said in a pitiful tone. “Or gravy.”
He gave her his most soulful look.
“Why don’t you just stay over tonight and cook my breakfast in the morning, Andie?”
She raised her eyebrows at him. “Because I think you only love me for my cooking.”
He waggled his brows at her and looked her up and down with his teasing grin. “Nope. I love you for other reasons, too.”
She shook her head. “You never really loved me, sugar. You just thought you did. Your real love is the Rodeo Road.”
He held her gaze and the grin. “Well, yes and no. But now I’m building a home.”
She lost her smile. “And you want a woman in it. Well, that’s not love, either, Chase, honey.”
“We could give it a whirl and find out.”
“Nope. I came over here to tell you something. Let’s sit down.”
He stared at her. “You told Shane he’s not my blood son?”
She seemed startled. So that wasn’t it.
“Not yet. He’s got enough to deal with right now.”
“He’s still clean and sober?”
“As far as I can tell. Thank God.”
“Well, then,” he said heartily, wanting to stave off whatever was so important she’d started at sunup and driven all the way over here to tell him. All of a sudden, he knew he didn’t want to hear it.
But she was going to tell him no matter what he wanted, so he turned two chairs to face each other and they sat. He waited.
“Spit it out. Why’d you come to see me, Andie Lee?”
She held her mug in both hands, carefully balanced on her thigh. The storm gray of her eyes darkened as she held his gaze.
“I had to tell you face-to-face. I’m going to get married, Chase. Blue loves me and, God knows, I love him. He’s asked me to marry him. We’re thinking we’ll elope one of these days.”
Somehow, he couldn’t get his breath.
Blue. He’d met him once but he’d not forget him. Well, damn. The way Andie Lee had looked at him should’ve told Chase what would happen. Right then, he should’ve known it’d come to this.
Big, handsome, quiet, powerful Indian guy. Shane said he was magic with a horse.
God knows, I love him.
But why did hearing her say that tear him up inside? He was just her friend now. He was the one who had let her go years and years ago.
“You’re the only woman I ever loved, Andie Lee Hart.”
It was true. But he knew as he said it that what she’d said was true, too. He probably didn’t even know what love was.
She smiled sadly and reached out to caress the side of his leg with the toe of her boot.
“I believe that, Chase Lomax. And it’s an honor I don’t take lightly. I loved you, too.”
“I didn’t choose my job over you, though,” he said. “I just never was the kind of man to settle down.”
He took a gulp of coffee. He needed some help, and caffeine seemed to be the only kind at hand.
“You’re scared of commitment,” she said. “You had many a year to marry me when I was in love with you and you never mentioned the word.”
“I wouldn’t say I was scared.”
“I would.”
That made them both laugh.
“I took on raising Shane with you. And that’s a big responsibility. It’s a commitment.”
“And that’s only one reason why I will always love you,” she said.
“But you love him more. This Blue character.”
“Yes.”
“Damn. That’s cold.”
“Don’t whine,” she said. “You asked me and I’m not going to lie to you. All you were after all your life was to be a champion and be famous and now you’ve got that and more, too.”
He had no answer to that except for more whining, so he shut up.
“You’re building a home here,” she said. “And maybe someday you’ll give up and give in and ask a good woman to share it with you. Even if you go that far, I don’t know if you’ll ever really let her have your heart.”
He stared at her, then got up and walked to the railing and leaned back against it.
“You’re not a head doctor, Andie.”
“No, but I’ve thought about it a lot and I know you better than anybody else on this earth. Chase, you’ve got to learn to open up and give a little. Let somebody in.”
Hard hurt stabbed him and he let it show in his eyes.
“Yeah,” he said sarcastically, “like I let you in.”
She shook her head. “You didn’t. You loved to rodeo more than you loved to be with me. Way more.”
“It’s my job,” he snapped.
“And your wife and your lover. You trust it always to be there more than you ever would a flesh-and-blood woman.”
“I trusted you, Andie.”
“Chase, before I left you, you could’ve married me and still rodeoed. I was in love and I would’ve agreed to that. But the word marriage was never spoken between us. You never tried to hold me.”
He just stared at her, knowing that he looked like a pouting boy, not caring if he did. She wasn’t his lover anymore, granted, but, damn it, she didn’t have to jump up and marry somebody else. She was his Andie Lee.
“You’re the only woman I ever loved and you left me. You left me.”
“Yes,” she said. “I was sick of trying to raise a boy in a trailer meant for a campout. But I stayed until he had to go to school.”