Coma. Federico Betti
Читать онлайн книгу.
news was a cure-all, that changed in a better way also his mood: they have been dark days and now he had his smile back.
He thought about the happy moments together and, unlike a week before, now he started to believe that they could have fun together again like before, go back to have dinner in those restaurants that they really enjoyed testing, go to the movies, or even simply go in a pub in the town centre for a beer.
If thing really went as predicted, just as at this point it seemed to be, he had to thank from the bottom of his heart the medical staff of the hospital for how much they did and they were still doing.
At the beginning he was quite pessimistic, but by now he was almost sure to be able to let some ghosts go away: his brother was going to make it.
The next day, when he got to the hospital, he was very different from the usual: the smile reappeared on his face, thing that missed from a while; he was finally happy, and also started joking with the nurses: after a few days, now he was close to them and knew what to say or do with them, so that they smiled without getting mad.
The evening arrived in a flash and, when they told him that he couldn’t stay there anymore that day, he went out to go home, this time with his heart lightweight.
XIV
I’m driving, I don’t know where to, but I’m driving.
I’m in a weird car, with the steering wheel in front of me, without the passengers’ sears, and around me it’s all empty and dark.
I can’t figure out where I am.
I have a terrible headache that pulses inside my temples and it creates a strong pain, that grows from minute to minute.
I’m not alone: I see a shadow that comes close to me, so I plucked up my courage and I ask everything, assailing it of questions.
When it gets next t me, the shadow appears like something… I don’t know how to define it… so, it seems a halo. It doesn’t have a face, I can only see the well-defined profile, as if it was the outlined protagonist of a comic book in black and white.
“Who are you?”, I ask, but this figure doesn’t answer. And I believe it, it doesn’t even have the mouth to do it.
The human figure is turned to me, as if it’s watching me, but he can’t see me being without eyes.
It looks like an extra in a horror movie, where I am the main character. However, I realize that I am not scared, but I feel uncomfortable: I feel exiled in this car, without the chance to get out of it and, even if I wanted to, maybe I wouldn’t manage to go anywhere.
Maybe, the only way to get out of this deadlock situation, or at least the most reasonable, would be to kill myself; I’ve been here for a while, I don’t even know how long, and I haven’t had any clue at my disposal to clarify my mind. This makes me take a huge risk: the risk of going crazy.
I’ve always been a calm and relaxed person, that almost loses his mind if he’s out of certainty, of a reference point.
I’m groping in the dark, and not only in a metaphorical way.
The shadow is still there, still, beside me. It moves an arm, or whatever it is, as if he was waving at me. “Are you there?”, he seems to ask; I wave back, but it’s like neither of us saw the other one. I still can’t understand.
I move an arm to try to touch the shadow. I can’t do anything of what I want to, and it’s like unattainable.
Nothing to do, maybe it is not the moment yet for some developments.
So, what should I do? Wait a little bit longer? Who will choose when things are going to change?
The shadow pulls back, goes back where it came from, and I stay still, sitting without any chance to know what is really happening, so I decide to close my eyes: at least like this I mange to rest my mind, maybe.
Xv
When Luigi Mazza woke up, his eyes opened really slow to get used to light again.
To make him wake up the doctors gave him a dose of a stimulant that turned out to be optimal.
“Hello, mister Mazza”, one of the nurses greeted him, “are you feeling well?”
Luigi took a while before answering. “I have a bit of a headache. Could you give me a painkiller, please?”
“Don’t worry. You only have to rest, for now”
The man kept staring at the snow-white ceiling and didn’t say anything, almost waiting the words of his speaker. “Today you shouldn’t move from here, at least until this evening. If you want, you could go for a little walk later, before going to sleep.”
“I’m not tired, I just have this headache.”
“I feel you”
“Where are the others?” he asked.
“Your brother didn’t arrive yet today; I don’t know about anyone else that came to visit you in these days” explained the nurse.
“Mm... I don’t know them either, I guess”, was Luigi Mazza’s answer, I only know that there was someone else, because I saw him”
“You think so? I think not, but maybe I could be wrong.”
There was a moment of silence that emphasized the perplexed face if the man while watching the nurse, that finished saying: “In the meanwhile, get some rest, you need it. You must be rather weak.”
Luigi Mazza kept looking at the man with the white coat without saying anything, even when he went out of the room.
What happened to me? Where am I? Where is everyone?
XVI
That afternoon, Mario Mazza arrived at the Maggiore Hospital to be with his brother and, towards the evening, Luigi heard his brother saying: “Do you remember anything about the accident?”
The question floored him, not knowing what the topic of the conversation was.
“Accident?”, asked Luigi back, “What accident?”
“You’re here because you were involved in an accident on Bologna’s orbital road, up on exit 7. Don’t you remember?”
Luigi looked at him with the typical expression of someone who hears something for the first time.
“No, I don’t remember anything about this accident. When did it happen?”
His brother looked at him a little bit worried.
“Are you sure? Not even vaguely?”, he asked.
“Mm… no, I’m sorry”, answered Luigi.
“I see. I’ll try to talk about it with the doctors that are following you… now you have to rest, you already walked much, let’s get back to your room: you need to lay down.”
“Alright”, Luigi nodded, “maybe I’ll read something”
“No, I’d rather read for you. Let’s go to your room now, then I’ll go get a magazine from the newsstand.”
They did so and, when they went back, Mario Mazza was holding under his arm a copy of a monthly travel magazine.
“I know that you’ll like this”, he started, leafing through the pages, “Let’s see if there’s something nice here”
After a moment of silence, Mario Mazza started talking again, while his hospitalized brother was listening interested. “Wow... the Caribbean, Europe, Canada… wonderful places, really… here a nice article about the Norwegian fiords. What do you think? Would you like to go this summer?”
“You know that I love to travel… I would go anywhere there’s something to see. Sooner or later I will see the fiords too” answered Luigi.
“The