THE COLLECTED WORKS OF E. F. BENSON (Illustrated Edition). E. F. Benson
Читать онлайн книгу.
will draw a decent setting for it. Do look at Mother. She has got the family lace on, which is made of string. I think it is Saxon. Oh, of course the coronets are about her. How foolish of me not to have guessed."
"It is more foolish of you to think that Nadine would look at you," said Esther.
"I didn't ask her to look at me, and I shan't ask her to look at me. I shall recommend her not to look at me. But I shall marry her or Antoinette. I don't see why you are so stuffy about it. Or perhaps you would prefer Antoinette for a sister-in-law."
"If she is to be your wife, dear, I think I should," said Esther.
Seymour laid his hand on hers. His smelt vaguely of wall-flowers.
"How disagreeable you are," he said. "I don't think I shall say anything about your dress in The Lady. I shall simply say that Lady Esther Sturgis was there looking very plain and tired. I shall describe my own dress instead. I had an emerald pin, properly set, instead of its being set like that sort of cheese cake you are wearing. No, it's not exactly a cheese cake: it is as if you had spilt some crème-de-menthe and put a little palisade of broken glass round it to prevent it spreading. What a disgusting dinner we are having, aren't we? I never know what to do before I dine with Mama, whether to eat so much lunch that I don't want any dinner, or to eat none at all so that I can manage to swallow this sort of garbage. To-night I am rather hungry: won't you come away early with me and have some supper at home? Perhaps Nadine will come too."
"If Nadine will come, I will," said Esther. "I suppose we can chaperone each other."
"Certainly, if it amuses you. Shall we ask anybody else? I see hardly anybody here whom I know by sight. I think they must all be earls and countesses. It's funny how few of one's own class are worth speaking to. Look at Mama! I know I keep telling you to look at Mama, but she is so remarkable. She said 'sir' just now to the man next her. He must be a Saxon king. I wish she was responsible for the wine instead of father: teetotalers usually give one excellent wine, because they don't imagine they know anything about it, and tell the wine merchants just to send round some champagne and hock. So of course they send the most expensive."
"I think we ought to talk to our neighbors," said Esther. "Mama is making faces."
"That is because she has eaten some of this entrée, I expect. I make no face because I haven't. But I can't talk to my neighbor. I tried, but she is unspeakable-to. I wish my nose would bleed, because then I should go away."
One of the frequent pauses that occurred at Lady Ayr's dinners was taking place at the moment, and Seymour's rather shrill voice was widely audible. A buzz of vacant conversation succeeded, and he continued.
"That was heard," he said, "and really I didn't mean it to be heard. I am sorry. I shall make myself agreeable. But tell Nadine we shall go away soon after dinner. If you will be ready, I shall not go up into the drawing-room at all."
Seymour turned brightly to the woman seated on his right.
"Have you been to 'The Follies'?" he asked. "I hope you haven't, because then we can't talk about them, since I haven't either. There are enough follies going about, without going to them."
"How amusin' you are," said his neighbor.
Seymour felt exasperated.
"I know I am," he said. "Do be amusing too; then we shall be delighted with each other."
"But I don't know who you are," said his neighbor.
"Well, that is the case with me," said he. "But my mother—"
His neighbor's face instantly changed from a chilly neutrality to a welcoming warmth.
"Oh, are you Lord Seymour?" she asked.
"I should find it very uncomfortable to be anybody else," said he. "I should not know what to do."
"Then do tell me, because of course you know all about these things: Are we all going to wear slabs of jade next year? And did you see me at Princess Waldenech's wedding this morning? And who manicures you? I hear you have got a marvelous person." Seymour really wished to atone for the unfortunate remark that had broken the silence and exerted himself.
"But of course," he said. "It is Antoinette. She cooks for me and calls me: she dusts my rooms, and brushes my boots. She stirs the soup with one hand and manicures me with the other. Fancy not knowing Antoinette! She is fifty-two: by the time you are fifty-two you ought to be known anywhere. If she marries I shall die: if I marry, she will still live I hope. Now do tell me: do you recommend me to marry?"
"Doesn't it depend upon whom you marry?"
"Not much, do you think? But perhaps you are married, and so know. Are you married? And would you mind telling me who you are, as I have told you?"
"You never told me: I guessed. Guess who I am."
Seymour looked at her attentively. She was a woman of about fifty, with a shrewd face, like a handsome monkey, and his millinerish eyes saw that she was dressed without the slightest regard to expense.
"I haven't the slightest idea," he said. "But please don't tell me, if you have any private reason for not wishing it to be known. I can readily understand you would not like people to be able to say that you were seen dining with Mama. Of course you are not English."
"Why do you think that?"
"Because you talk it so well. English people always talk it abominably. But—"
He looked at her again, and a vague resemblance both in speech and in the shape of her head struck him.
"I will guess," he said, "you are a relation of Nadine's."
"Quite right: go on."
Seymour was suddenly agitated and upset a glass of champagne that had just been filled. He took not the slightest notice of this.
"Is it too much to hope that you are the aunt who—who had so many snuff-boxes?" he asked. "I mean the one to whom the Emperor gave all those lovely snuff-boxes? Or is it too good to be true?"
"Just good enough," she said.
"How wildly exciting! Will you come back to my flat as soon as we can escape from this purgatory and Antoinette shall manicure you. Do tell me about the snuff-boxes; I am sure they were beauties, or you would not—I mean the Emperor would not have given you them."
"Of course not. But I am afraid I can't come to your flat to-night, as I am going to a dance. Ask me another day. I hear you have got some lovely jade and are going to make it the fashion. Then I suppose you will sell it."
Seymour determined to insure his jade before Countess Eleanor entered his rooms, for fear of its subsequently appearing that the Austrian Emperor had followed up his present of snuff-boxes with a present of jade. But he let no suspicion mar the cordiality of his tone.
"Yes, that's the idea," he said. "You see no younger son can possibly live in the way he has been brought up unless he has done something honest and commercial like that, or cheats at bridge. But that is so difficult I am told. You have to learn bridge first, and then go to a conjurer, during which time you probably forget bridge again. But otherwise you can't live at all unless you marry and the only thing left to do is to take to drink and die."
"My brother took to it and lives," said she.
"I know, but you are a very remarkable family."
A footman had wiped up the greater part of the champagne Seymour had spilt and now stood waiting till he could speak to him.
"Her ladyship told me to tell you that you seemed to have had enough champagne, my lord," he said.
Seymour paused for a moment, and his face turned white with indignation.
"Tell her ladyship she is quite right," he said, "and that the first sip I took of it was more than enough."
"Very good, my lord."
"And tell her that the fish was stale," said Seymour shrilly.
"Yes,