Empire of Dirt. Wendy Fonarow
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of evoking a feeling of pity or compassion. The most common characterization of indie fans and artists is that they are prone to extreme suffering because of their sensitive, introspective natures. Dele Fadele of NME characterized indie as an “inward-gaze” (NME, December 12, 1992). This quality of introspective sensitivity has Puritan resonance: the internal and passionate experience of the numinous was essential in Puritan philosophy. As Ed Ward points out, “In Puritan religious thought there was originally a dynamic equipoise between two opposite thrusts, and tension between an inward, mystical personal experience of God’s grace and the demands for an outward, sober, socially responsible ethic, the tension between faith and works, between the essence of religion and its outward show” (Campbell 1987: 219). Thus, the inward experience of profound personal sensitivity is part and parcel of indie’s Puritan metaphysics.
There are certain topics that recur as themes and tropes within indie song lyrics and reflect the motif of pathos in the indie community. Indie songs are often brooding and contemplative and address the issue of not belonging:
What the hell am I doing here? / I don’t belong here—(“Creep” by Radiohead)
I’ll be the corpse in your bathtub / Useless—(“Newborn” by Elbow)
I sit all alone / Alone is all I’ll ever be—(“Season” by Ash)
i can show you sadder poetry / than you ever dreamed there could be / i know all the saddest people / most of them are dead now—(“Save a Secret for the Moon” by the Magnetic Fields)
I think I’m drowning / asphyxiating … —(“Time Is Running Out” by Muse)
So you go, and you stand on your own / and you leave on your own / and you go home and you cry / and you want to die—(“How Soon Is Now” by the Smiths)
These are a mere sampling of the vast compendium of depressed, despondent, and disconsolate lyrics that characterize indie’s core. Many indie song titles also convey a sense of despairing paralysis: “Isn’t Anything,” “Nothing Much to Lose” (My Bloody Valentine); “Nowhere,” “Decay,” “Paralyzed” (Ride); “She Is Suffering” (Manic Street Preachers). More aggressive or angry lyrics reflect angst, an introspective mode of aggression (see the Guardian, July 7, 1995). This second mode is best summed up by the band Nirvana’s often-quoted title “I Hate Myself and Want to Die.”
Indie’s introspective pathos and obsession is reflected in its playful self-mockery. Nowhere does this acknowledgment and ironic self-criticism manifest itself with more regularity than in the weekly press:
Readers, let me tell you about my life. I’m called David, and I am an Indie guy. Every day, I play my Indie Records and put on my “Captain America” T-shirt, just like the one Kurt Cobain used to wear. I like to be called Dave, but the neighbors call me sad. Nobody understands me, but I am a fun person. When I am not hanging outside the Camden Falcon hoping to get a glimpse of Steve Lamazq [sic], I spend time advertising in the music papers for pen pals to go to gigs with…. The lyrics are pretty profound too…. Do you think if I carry their record around it’ll help me get a girlfriend? (Melody Maker, January 29, 1994)
Stereolab are now just about the perfect indie art rock band. That’s not necessarily a compliment. It means they don’t sell millions of records, you can’t dance or mosh very well to it, and shagging to it is a bit of a tall order. But they are so many of the things wet dreams are made of for wannabe art-pseudish young people with skin problems. (NME, September 25, 1993)
Instead of sharpening their wits on illicit sex, drugs and joy-riding, they chose to stay in their bedrooms, wank and listen to their Poppies, Neds, and Megas records. (NME, March 20, 1993)54
Here, being a member of the indie community is presented as highly unattractive. The last passage in particular speaks directly to the image of the pathetic indie fan, isolated in the private space of the bedroom, with music as his only sexual outlet.55 The bands that are referenced—Pop Will Eat Itself (Poppies), Ned’s Atomic Dustbin (Neds), and Mega City Four (Megas) were all known as “T-shirt bands,” thus characterized because of the bold slogans on their T-shirts and their fans’ habit of sporting them. T-shirt bands were described as outgoing, effusive, and fun. However, the NME passage above demonstrates that even though there are some lively and exuberant movements in indie, in postscript they too are represented in terms of the “pathetic” indie fan isolated in his bedroom. Both serious and comical, indie’s self-parodies play with a negative caricature of its own identity. Indie accuses itself of being “elitist and insular” (NME, February 5, 1994), “pitiful, tedious, hyper-elitist indie saddos” (letters page of Melody Maker, November 6, 1993), or, most comprehensively: “Congratulations, you win a year’s subscription to Luddite Muso Indie Saddo Magazine” (NME, January 2, 1993).
Clearly this introversion and valorization of pathos and melancholy are expressions of the Romantic thread in indie music. In indie, one finds the exaltation of emotion and sensitivity, the sorrows and sufferings of young Werther, the privileging of creative spirit over an adherence to formal rules, and an interest in specific cultural/local identities.56 Colin Campbell accounts for the development of Romanticism in terms of a cultivation of emotional sensitivity and responsiveness as “a further evolution of that essentially pietistic current of feeling” traceable to Puritanism (Campbell 1987: 179). This sensitivity luxuriates in the pleasure of emotional experience, and the more acute the emotions are, the more profound and morally validating the experience is:
The later Romantics … widen[ed] the range of emotions from which pleasure could be obtained…. In this respect, the Romantics came to emphasize that algolagnic sensibility, or “agony,” which Praz considered unique to them; a delight in the “Medusean” beauty or the pleasure that comes with pain…. Disillusionment, melancholy, and an intense longing for the perfect pleasure that will not die, thus become characteristic attitudes of the dedicated romantic pleasure-seeker. (Campbell 1987: 192)
In indie, this Romantic thread meets with the Puritan thread of asceticism, nostalgia, and intense moral rigor and helps us to partially understand indie’s pleasure in pathos. Indie fans love their music. They get an inordinate amount of pleasure from listening to it and talking about it. They see depth and value in the examination of personal suffering. The Romantic/Puritan duality manifests itself in the elevation of pathos and melancholia as the highest forms of experience. Indie does have songs about happiness, enjoyment, and playful youthful pursuits, but these are far less valued than the songs of pathos. When I asked informants for examples of sad or melancholic songs, they could all tell me lyrics right off the top of their heads, but when I asked for examples of happy or upbeat songs, I was invariably told that they would have to get back to me (which they seldom did). The Puritan distrust of sensual pleasures and valuing of the profound internal emotional experience of the divine finds its common ground with the Romantic in emotional melancholy. While Romanticism exalts the experience of all of the senses, indie fetishizes sensitivity and suffering. Unrequited longing is held as superior to physical satisfaction. Emotional Puritanism and Romanticism overlap, producing pathos as the most elevated form of emotional experience.
Indie’s ethos can be summed up by two major spirits—independence and pathetic melancholia. The Puritans and Romantics were nonconformists, born of rejection. This spirit of nonconforming independence suffuses the infrastructural and generic characteristics of indie. Within indie, independence conveys rejection of the status quo and an embrace of the spirit of rebellion. However, indie’s relationship to melancholy is even more interesting. Pathos and melancholia function as badges of worthiness indicating that one is a genuine disciple. For indie, suffering is the sign of elect status—it demonstrates sensitivity and depth of character. Because of their contemplative melancholia, indie fans view themselves as the elect who can recognize the truth in music.
Indie as a Mode of Aesthetic Judgement
Can you feel the sadness in our love? It’s the only kind we’re worthy of … The Divine Comedy
While indie fans prefer indie music, other styles of music are at times embraced