Lament for a Lounge Lizard. Mary Jane Maffini
Читать онлайн книгу.
busy.”
Bridget would have chug-a-lugged hemlock before she would have turned over Benedict’s last rites to Abby or Zoë. Stupid of me to even suggest it.
“Oh. Wait a minute. What about all his drinking buddies? One of the O’Mafia? They’re perfect. They can’t possibly be employed. I mean, they’d know what would be important for Benedict.”
Important for Benedict. As if he were still alive. Of course, when I considered the amount of aggravation he could still generate, it was as if he’d never died.
“You must be kidding. Those idiots? What do you think is the likelihood of Benedict’s ashes ending up in the right place? And, anyway, hard as it is to believe, they all have jobs too.”
“Wait a minute, so what if they have jobs? How much time can it take to arrange this scattering?”
“Precisely. It’s not a matter of time. It’s a matter of having it handled properly. It has to be somebody who has brains and flexibility, and a bit of time on their hands, such as yourself. It has to be somebody I could trust to do the job properly. As Benedict would have wanted it. That would be you.”
Deep sadness backlit her smile. And it crossed my mind that Bridget loved Benedict even more dead than she had when he was alive. No wonder. Dead Benedict didn’t provide on-going irritations in the way of unpaid bills, brushes with authority and the tendency to leave socks and young women lying around. So I figured Bridget might not like to hear that disposing of Benedict’s ashes in exactly the way he wanted wasn’t such a big deal. Even allowing for the prospect of everlasting life, Benedict would be too busy dealing with the heat wave to worry about the ashes-to-ashes part.
I played my last card. “I have a deadline for my new romance novel. That’s my job. A big project would throw me off.”
A stubborn little crease appeared between Bridget’s eyebrows. I could see why she was a success in the competitive world of retail. “It won’t take long. Then you can concentrate.”
I hardly got any work done when things were going well. Imagine the phone calls a scattering would generate. Ducky, just ducky. Panicky thoughts danced in my brain as I searched for one last excuse. The panic must have seeped onto my face.
Bridget drew a conclusion. “Oh, Fiona, Fiona, don’t worry about the cost. Benedict’s estate will reimburse you.”
“What estate, for God’s sake? Benedict didn’t have an estate. He was up to his ears in debt all the time, and we both know it. You’ll be lucky if you don’t get stuck with a lot of loans you foolishly co-signed instead of having the cash to have a big party with a...”
“With an urn. And quite a nice one.” Bridget smiled the smile she probably reserved for bankers about the overdraft. “There’s enough money.”
“Come on, Bridget. Pull the other one.”
“It’s true. Benedict had an old term insurance policy. And I’m the beneficiary, since I’ve been paying the premiums for fifteen years, mainly so I wouldn’t get stuck with those debts you mentioned I’d foolishly co-signed for. I wasn’t born yesterday.”
“Oh.”
“The point is, after the loans and things are paid, I have enough to send him off in style. With a party. So select your date and make your arrangements.”
I cast around for more objections. Bridget reached into the green bag and produced a squarish object in a burgundy velvet bag. Behind the successful businesswoman exterior, I sensed Bridget’s emotional protection crumbling. She slipped the velvet bag off the object which I had already figured contained Benedict’s ashes. She ran her fingers over the sleek mahogany box containing the urn. A couple of tears dripped onto it.
Fine. I know when I’m beaten. “I guess I could do it.”
Bridget stood up and hobbled toward the fireplace. She got her balance long enough to place the urn in the centre of the mantel. “Thank you. You know, I came to ask you to do these things, but the thing is, I really wanted to talk to someone who knew and appreciated him.”
I bit my tongue.
She talked. And appreciated. Two hours later, I decided to call Cyril Hemphill to pour Bridget home.
The urn remained.
Now I couldn’t even look at my fireplace.
Nine
Another trip to the village. No way to avoid it. I was out of dog biscuits again and, trust me, life wasn’t worth living without them.
Plus Phillip had called twice (Los Angeles and Denver). Even Tolstoy didn’t care for the increasingly hostile tone of his messages, which was another reason to get out of the house, but the real problem was that I couldn’t take my mind off this scattering thing. How the hell was I ever going to reclaim my home with that miserable urn squatting on the mantelpiece?
On the bright side, the microscopic cheque I found in my mailbox meant a little of the green stuff to spread around.
It was raining too hard to walk. The Skylark responded with a click of the key in the ignition, the engine turned over and went back to bed. The good news was that at least I’d paid my Canadian Automobile Association premium, and it still had a month to run. For once, it was a slow day for Remorquage Bye-Bye. Tolstoy and I dashed through the downpour as the tow-truck pulled up.
“Can you take it to Marc-André Paradis’ garage?”
“Where’s that?”
“Up Highway 105, um, somewhere.” Water dripped off my nose.
“Never heard of it. You want to pay me to drive around and look for it? Extra eighty bucks an hour.”
Everybody’s an entrepreneur. The guy probably had a sex life too. “No thanks. Just haul it to Tom and Jerry’s.”
Tolstoy and I spent the next hour sulking to the tune of the “Water Music”. But sulk or no sulk, I needed to get around. I bit my lip for a long time before I called Cyril Hemphill. At least Cyril was happy about it. He and Tolstoy grinned dopily at each other in the front seat. I sat in the back enveloped in fog and bad feelings.
Cyril twisted right around to chat with me. “Don’t you worry, Miz Silk, I’m setting people straight about that murder.”
Tolstoy regarded Cyril with admiration.
“Yep, I told them no way a woman like you could beat a man to death. Leastways, not when you were...”
Конец ознакомительного фрагмента.
Текст предоставлен ООО «ЛитРес».
Прочитайте эту книгу целиком, купив полную легальную версию на ЛитРес.
Безопасно оплатить книгу можно банковской картой Visa, MasterCard, Maestro, со счета мобильного телефона, с платежного терминала, в салоне МТС или Связной, через PayPal, WebMoney, Яндекс.Деньги, QIWI Кошелек, бонусными картами или другим удобным Вам способом.