Roots of Empathy. Mary Gordon
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reflects the cultural makeup of the school. When babies are from one of a number of a school’s cultural groups, the good feelings and connections that develop between the children and “their” baby inevitably spill over into a stronger sense of inclusiveness within the community. We encourage families where the father can come for visits as well as, or instead of, the mother; this can provide a sorely needed perspective in classrooms where children have little or no experience with a male in a nurturing role. We have had single parent families both mother-led and, occasionally, father-led.
In one of our kindergarten classes, baby Tama visited each month with his mother, and on a number of occasions his father was able to join them. Their reflections on the experience reveal the exchange of learning that occurred. Tama’s mother, Theresa, who is of Maori heritage, sang Maori lullabies in the classroom and was impressed with the intense involvement of children who were five years old. She commented that “The children were genuinely interested in what Tama could or could not achieve so it was very easy to answer their questions. We were surprised at the maturity the children displayed and the words they became used to using—like temperament, transition, milestones and communication. Some of the children found the words difficult to say but they clearly understood what they meant.” Tama’s parents, as so many parents in our program do, commented on how much the interactions in the classroom taught them about children.
Branching Out
Roots of Empathy has grown exponentially. It is offered in schools across Canada and Australia. We have reached almost 29,000 students so far in 2005. The news spreads from community to community—by word of mouth, through media coverage and through educators sharing best practices. When a community hears there’s a school-based program out there that involves a local family, makes a positive difference in how children treateach other today and prepares them to be good citizens and good parents in the future, Roots of Empathy is invited in. Members of our staff then collaborate with the community to build a committed group of people who champion the program, choose potential instructors and work with the schools to get the program up and running.
Globalization has made the world a much smaller place and heightened the commonality of the issues we struggle with. We are plagued with conflict and violence in schools. Our program offers practical hope. We are at a time and a place where a new way for ward is sorely needed. Through the eyes of a baby, Roots of Empathy takes us back to the basics of what it is to be truly human.
Roots of Empathy in Our World
I invite every parent, every educator, every individual concerned with shaping the next generation to examine the learnings culled from the parent–baby relationship. The chapters in this book are presented to you as windows into the world of Roots of Empathy. They are designed to reveal to you the layers of learning experienced by children in the classroom and reveal the wisdom of children’s responses to those experiences.
Parents will draw from Roots of Empathy an affirmation of the fundamental influence they have on their children from the first breath and even in utero. The dance of intimacy, conducted through glances, smiles, rocking and soothing words gives infants a secure base from which to successfully engage the world—from forming healthy relationships to exploring their physical space, tackling problems and learning how to learn. In the holistic environment of this program, we name, describe and give life to concepts in neuroscience and child development. Parents will recognize in these lessons that what they do instinctively is critical to raising a generation of children who have the skills and emotional competence to create a more civil society. Through Roots of Empathy, we can break the cycle of passing on damaging behaviours, whether these be violent or neglectful or unempathic, from one generation to the next.
Educators—teachers, school administrators—in many, many school settings across Canada have witnessed what this program adds to the dynamics of the classroom, to the life of the school and to the learning of individual children. By witnessing the development of a baby over the course of a year in the context of the parenting relationship, the program ensures a solid foundation in social and emotional learning. Communication skills, through discussion, art, writing and music, are an important component of every class we offer. An elementary school vice-principal told me, “I get so excited about all of the curriculum connections—I know if I were the classroom teacher with this opportunity, my whole program would revolve around Roots of Empathy.” An additional compelling feat u re of having this program in schools is the strong body of evidence that links the development of empathic skills with academic success. When empathy training is integrated into the classroom, critical thinking skills, reading comprehension and creative thinking are enhanced.5
Many observers and participants who have witnessed the unfolding of Roots of Empathy in a classroom over the course of a year have suggested that it is nothing short of revolutionary in its potential to change the way young people see themselves and their world. Change-makers directly involved in social policy development, whose vocation it is to find ways to address the ills that plague our society, be it domestic abuse, child abuse, bullying in schools, the devastating effects of FASD (fetal alcohol spectrum disorder) or youth violence, will find support in this program. Every tenet of the program is aimed at inculcating respect for oneself, understanding and compassion for others, and a sense of responsibility for the world, its citizens and its future. In this respect, it is a powerful preventative program aimed at addressing those very ills that policy-makers are concerned with. Key longitudinal studies done in the United States show that the cost of prevention in children’s early years is a fraction of the cost of responding to the needs of individuals when they fall off the rails and become involved with social services and the judicial system.6 Justice Edward Ormston, a criminal court judge, once told me, “If the lessons that children learn in Roots of Empathy could have been taught to the people I deal with every day, we’d have far less need for prisons.” Justice Ormston is now a member of our board.
The way we treat and care for children has an indelible impact on our school system, our economy and our future. We cannot afford to underestim ate the critical role of empathy in moral development and our motivation for justice.7 Nor can we afford to underestim ate the importance of the early years and the family in building the kind of world where full participation of every citizen is a given, where we breathe peace and social justice and where empathy is in the water supply. Roots of Empathy shows how an infant can lead the way.
EMPATHY: WHAT IT IS AND WHY IT MATTERS
What Is Empathy?
IN ONE GRADE 4 CLASS, nine-year-old Sylvie was wearing running shoes that did up with a Velcro strap. Some of the other children taunted her, saying she wore “baby shoes” and “geeky shoes.” She was the target of a double-barrelled criticism—her shoes were not only cheap and unfashionable, they were immature. This is the kind of humiliation that would shrivel the spirit of any nine-year-old. But then something happened. When the class headed outside for recess, Sylvie’s best friend June swapped one shoe with her. The empathic insight and quick thinking of that child gives us hope. Her actions said, “I’m your friend and I’m proud to wear your shoes and be just like you.” She turned a mean, exclusionary attack into something playful, without saying a word. Every other child in the class got the message: “This is my friend, make fun of her and you are making fun of me. Keep it up and you may find yourself outnumbered by kids who care.”
In his paper “Truth and Ethics in School Reform,” the philosopher Thomas McCollough writes, “Moral imagination is the capacity to empathize with others, i.e., not just to feel for oneself, but to feel with and for others. This is something that education ought to cultivate and that citizens ought to bring to politics.”1 Empathy is frequently defined as the ability to identify with the