Fiona Silk Mysteries 2-Book Bundle. Mary Jane Maffini
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it was because I was wearing the wrong clothes or standing the wrong way or being generally unworthy of notice. I don’t know why you are asking these things, but you’re definitely barking up the wrong husband.”
“Could be. The scene on the highway as you described it has a personal feel to it. Don’t you agree?”
“Yes, I do agree. It felt personal at the time. I was kind of shaken. But I don’t believe it was. I drive a ten-year-old Skylark with timing problems. I’m used to jerk behaviour aimed at me.”
“Maybe.”
“I bet you don’t encounter it in your full-size police vehicle, looking like you do.”
“What do you mean ‘looking like I do’?”
“I mean a large man who carries a gun. And anyone could tell you’re a cop. I’m pretty sure that would be a good deterrent. So you don’t comprehend how the rest of us live. By that I mean non-cops, non-men, old car drivers.”
“Okay. You don’t have to get huffy. So you think he gave you the finger because you were a woman driving an older model car? Because there are a lot of people who fit that description. You know what bothers me, as a cop?”
“No, what?”
“The coincidence that you actually knew him.”
“Speaking of being bothered, any word about the woman in the Escalade with him?”
“That woman who wasn’t there? No, madame. There’s no word about her.”
“Well,” I said, with all the dignity I could manage. “Thank you very much, Sgt. Sarrazin. Goodbye now.”
He wasn’t ready to hang up. “Listen, about that cookbook of yours.”
I didn’t recall mentioning that project to Sarrazin.
He kept talking. “It’s still officially spring, so you have to include asparagus. I do mine on the grill with really good olive oil and sea salt. I can write out the technique for you.”
It was hard to decide which was less erotic: asparagus or Sarrazin. “I’ll take it, I said.”
I’d been stuck for hours in front of my computer working on a plan for the book. Let’s just say the screen was still blank, and it matched my mind. Finally, I had the slightest glimmer of an idea. I picked up the phone and called Lola.
“How about this? I’ll do a little back story of a couple who meet, and I’ll set up the meals they make as their relationship deepens.”
“Oh, blech! Stay away from romance, Fiona. Just make it sexy with beautiful, lively food. Come up with something that has a lot more sizzle than that. And remember, time is short.”
I was alternating between staring at the blank screen and at a piece of paper, when the front door banged.
“Okay,” Josey said, “if we are going to make this work, we have to do our homework.”
“Speaking of homework, how’s the exam preparation going?”
“Piece of cake. It’s time to get serious about your book.”
“I am serious about the book, Josey. See, I’ve started to work on it.” I pointed to the piece of paper in front of me. So far, the only word written on it was “asparagus”. But it was a start.
“We gotta go beyond print. We need television to sell it. I’ve been looking into this. All the chefs on The Cooking Channel have lots of cookbooks. And sometimes magazines. The show sells the books. Books sell the show, and the show sells products. Business, Miz Silk.”
“I don’t know, Josey.”
“You see all the fuss about En feu! Hot Stuff! and the number of people in town just because they’re going to be shooting it. Food is big business, and not just the food you eat. It affects everything. If Rafaël or Marietta buys something at CeeCeeCuisine, everyone’s going to want it. Every restaurant in the village will be competing to get them to come for dinner.”
“Really? I find that hard to...”
“Oh, believe it. TV chefs are real stars. They get a huge viewership on The Cooking Channel, on W and Life and other channels too. You should check it out. Woody’s got cable and digital and the movie channel and everything.”
“Woody would never watch something like The Cooking Channel.”
“You’re wrong, Miz Silk. He’s hooked on Extreme Sauté and. The Slam Dunk Chef and Close This Restaurant! NOW!”
“You’re making up those programs.”
“Nope. He likes Killin’ on the Grill too. Trust me.”
“I despair.”
“Don’t despair. You should try to make it work for you. If we get you a television show, think about what will happen with your cookbook. Into the stratosphere.”
“Couldn’t happen.”
“Sure it could. There’s no one on now with your type of looks. I think the camera would like you.”
“What?”
“That’s what they call it.”
“Who calls what that?”
“TV people. Doesn’t matter. The thing is people like you. You have sort of a way about you. Sympathetic. Personal. All that kinky ashy-blonde hair.”
“It’s very nice of you to say that, Josey, but...”
“I read somewhere that Naughty Marietta gets ten thousand emails a week. Or maybe it’s ten million.”
“People email television chefs?”
“Well, sure. This new book could catapult you into full-time celebrity. You’d have to have a blog.”
“I don’t believe this. I am a writer, not a cook, not a cookbook writer, not a celebrity. And the last thing I would ever want is ten thousand emails a week. What’s a blog? It sounds disgusting.”
“Okay, forget the blog. But this is a pretty big opportunity.”
“Sure. What would they call the program? Shoot This Chef?”
“Come on, Miz Silk. They’d come up with something. Maybe Romantic Recipes with Fiona Silk. Or Fiona’s Feel Good Food or something sexier. Silky Sensations or hey, how about—”
It was time for a counter-attack. “When do you watch all this television with school and homework and your business?”
“Not the point. They’re on all the time. Everywhere. You can’t miss them. And I need to find new business opportunities if I’m going to get my driver’s licence. That takes cash. Your project is perfect. And the main point is these people are in St. Aubaine. You have a chance to meet them.”
I must have turned pale, because Josey said, “Don’t worry about it. I can do the background work. First you have to be a bit professional. You have to learn who’s who and what’s what. You have to catch on to the personalities and the language. When I was making the list for your supplies, I noticed you don’t have any wooden spoons or spatulas or any of those nice little clear glass bowls in different sizes. You need to get your kitchen stocked up to test your recipes.”
The bowls again. I said, “I was planning on very simple foods, nothing at all complicated to make. I don’t imagine people will be reading an...I mean a romantic cookbook for the cooking instructions.”
Josey said, “Have it your way. But you’re still going to have to jazz up your kitchen. Even if I do the prep work, I don’t even know how the food stylist would manage.”
“The what?”
“Never mind. I’ll