Why Is Jesus in the Microwave? Funny Stories from Catholic Classrooms. Mary Kathleen Glavich, SND
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prayed only for family members and pets. To teach the children to make their intentions more inclusive, Sister decided to act as a model. She began to offer prayers such as “For all police officers and firefighters who work to keep us safe” and “For people in hospitals and those who try to bring them back to good health.”
One day Sister asked, “Does anyone notice that my prayers are different from everyone else’s?” Heads nodded vigorously.
“How are they different?” Sister asked.
Mark responded, “Well, we all pray for our relatives. But you don’t seem to have any.”
Eager Beaver
On the first day of school, Sister Harold explained the daily routine. She said, “When I tap the bell, we’ll all stand and say a little prayer.”
A voice rang out, “Sister, don’t make it two decades, just one. I want to get going.”
Prayer Posture
The first-graders were talking about prayer. Johnny informed everyone that he prayed every night. “Can you say your night prayers for me?” Sister Mary de Xavier asked.
The boy thought for a while and then asked, “Can I get on the floor?”
“Sure,” Sister replied.
Johnny got down on the floor, lay on his back, and folded his hands on his chest. Then he recited his night prayers.
False Alarm
Whenever fire engine sirens were heard during a lesson, Sister Ricarda and her students prayed for the firefighters and the people in danger. Sister discovered that this practice had made quite an impression on the children after she taught them the prayer for the faithful departed, who may be enduring the fires of purgatory.
One day she was surprised to hear some children praying, “Eternal rest grant unto them, O Lord, and let perpetual light shine upon them. May their souls and the souls of all the fire department, through the mercy of God, rest in peace. Amen.”
Messages from Heaven
After a time of quiet prayer, Sister Marie asked her first-graders what God had said to them.
A child answered, “God told me he loves me.”
Another said, “God said, ‘Thank you for coming to Sunday school.’ ”
To one child, God sounded just like her parents. She said, “God told me to turn down the TV.”
6. Saints
“Sister, where are you in the picture?”
St. Charade
One eighth-grader refused to take notes as his class viewed filmstrips on the lives of the saints. He insisted to Sister Andrew that he could remember the material. Later a quiz proved him wrong when he made these identifications: St. Martian Despress (for Martin de Porres) — He cured people and then they died; St. Catherine of Siena — She cut off her hair, and then she became a noun.
Living Saint
Sister Mary Beth took her first-graders to the church for a tour. The children stood in awe before the large, colorful stained-glass window that depicted Pentecost. It showed the Holy Spirit coming down upon Mary and the apostles. One child whispered seriously, “Sister, where are you in the picture?”
Modern Translation
The seventh grade was telling the story of John the Baptist’s life. When it came to the part where John declared that he was not worthy to unloose the Savior’s sandals, one student gave an original version. He stated, “John said he wasn’t worthy to untie Christ’s saddle shoes.”
Mary’s New Vocation
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