The Essential Guy de Maupassant Collection. Guy de Maupassant
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was born--the child! When I fully understood what had happened to me, I experienced at first such fear; yes, such fear! Then I remembered that he was bone of your bone, and flesh of your flesh; that you had given him life, and that he was a pledge from you. But one is so stupid when one knows nothing. One's ideas change just as one's moods change, and I became contented all at once; contented with the thought that I would bring him up, that he would grow to be a man, that he would call me mother. [_Weeps._] Now, he will never call me mother. He will never put his little arms around my neck, because I am going to leave him; because I am going away--I don't know where; but there, where everybody goes. Oh, God! My God!
JEAN
Calm yourself, my little Musotte. Would you be able to speak as you do speak if you were as ill as you think you are?
MUSOTTE
You do not see that the fever is burning within me; that I am losing my head, and don't know longer what I say.
JEAN
No, no; please calm yourself.
MUSOTTE
Pet me; pet me, Jean, and you will calm me.
JEAN [_kisses her hair; then resumes_]
There, there; don't speak any more for a minute or two. Let us remain quietly here near each other.
MUSOTTE
But I must speak to you; I have so many things to say to you yet, and do not know how to say them. My head is beyond my control. Oh, my God! how shall I do it? [_Raises herself, looks around her and sees the cradle._] Ah, yes, I know; I recollect, it is he, my child. Tell me, Jean, what will you do with him? You know that I am an orphan, and when I am gone he will be here all alone--alone in the world! Poor little thing! Listen, Jean, my head is quite clear now. I shall understand very well what you answer me now, and the peace of my closing moments depends upon it. I have no one to leave the little one to but you.
JEAN
I promise you that I will take him, look after him, and bring him up.
MUSOTTE
As a father?
JEAN
As a father.
MUSOTTE
You have already seen him?
JEAN
Yes.
MUSOTTE
Go and look at him again. [Jean _goes over to the cradle._]
JEAN
He is pretty, isn't he?
MUSOTTE
Everybody says so. Look at him, the poor little darling, who has enjoyed only a few days of life as yet. He belongs to us. You are his father; I am his mother, but soon he will have a mother no more. [_In anguish._] Promise me that he shall always have a father.
JEAN [_goes over to her_]
I promise it, my darling!
MUSOTTE
A true father, who will always love him well?
JEAN I promise it.
MUSOTTE
You will be good--very good--to him?
JEAN
I swear it to you!
MUSOTTE
And then, there is something else--but I dare not--
JEAN
Tell it to me.
MUSOTTE
Since I came back to Paris, I have sought to see you without being seen by you, and I have seen you three times. Each time you were with her--with your sweetheart, your wife, and with a gentleman--her father, I think. Oh, how I looked at her! I asked myself: "Will she love him as I have loved him? Will she make him happy? Is she good?" Tell me, do you really believe she is very good?
JEAN
Yes, darling, I believe it.
MUSOTTE
You are very certain of it?
JEAN
Yes, indeed.
MUSOTTE
And I thought so, too, simply from seeing her pass by. She is so pretty! I have been a little jealous, and I wept on coming back. But what are you going to do now as between her and your son?
JEAN
I shall do my duty.
MUSOTTE
Your duty? Does that mean by her or by him?
JEAN
By him.
MUSOTTE
Listen, Jean: when I am no more, ask your wife from me, from the mouth of a dead woman, to adopt him, this dear little morsel of humanity-to love him as I would have loved him; to be a mother to him in my stead. If she is tender and kind, she will consent. Tell her how you saw me suffer--that my last prayer, my last supplication on earth was offered up for her. Will you do this?
JEAN
I promise you that I will.
MUSOTTE
Ah! How good you are! Now I fear nothing; my poor little darling is safe, and I am happy and calm. Ah, how calm I am! You didn't know, did you, that I called him Jean, after you? That does not displease you, does it?
JEAN [_weeps_]
No, no!
MUSOTTE
You weep--so you still love me a little, Jean? Ah, how I thank you for this! But if I only could live; it must be possible. I feel so much better since you came here, and since you have promised me all that I have asked you. Give me your hand. At this moment I can recall all our life together, and I am content--almost gay; in fact, I can laugh--see, I can laugh, though I don't know why. [_Laughs._]
JEAN
Oh, calm yourself for my sake, dear little Musotte.
MUSOTTE
If you could only understand how recollections throng upon me. Do you remember that I posed for your "Mendiante," for your "Violet Seller," for your "Guilty Woman," which won for you your first medal? And do you remember the breakfast at Ledoyen's on Varnishing Day? There were more than twenty-five at a table intended for ten. What follies we committed, especially that little, little--what did he call himself--I mean that little comic fellow, who was always making portraits which resembled no one? Oh, yes, Tavernier! And you took me home with you to your studio, where you had two great manikins which frightened me so, and I called to you, and you came in to reassure me. Oh, how heavenly all that was! Do you remember? [_Laughs again_.] Oh, if that life could only begin over again! [_Cries suddenly_.] Ah, what pain! [_To_ Jean, _who is going for the doctor_.] No, stay, stay! [_Silence. A sudden change comes over her face_.] See, Jean, what glorious weather! If you like, we will take the baby for a sail on a river steamboat; that will be so jolly! I love those little steamboats; they are so pretty. They glide over the water quickly and without noise. Now that I am your wife, I can assert myself--I am armed. Darling, I never thought that you would marry me. And look at our little one--how pretty he is, and how he grows! He is called Jean after you. And I--I have my two little Jeans--mine--altogether mine! You don't know how happy I am. And the little one walks to-day for the first time! [_Laughs aloud, with her arms stretched out, pointing to the child which she thinks is before her_.]
JEAN [_weeps_]
Musotte! Musotte! Don't you know