The next morning I woke up and sighed with satisfaction. My back didn’t hurt, my pillow smelled fresh and clean, and I wasn’t itching any place suspicious. There are very few things as good in life as sleeping in your own bed, and I liked mine so much at that moment I rolled over and didn’t get out of it until ten thirty.

      That right there is one of the big reasons I decided to become a private eye. I don’t like other people telling me what to do and when to do it. I’d much rather take care of business on my own schedule. If I want to sleep in, I sleep in, and if I want to work all night, then I work all night. This is also why I don’t have roommates to speak of. Lovers can be as bad or worse than bosses, and I tend to like them better at a distance. Once in a while one captures my attention and I’m willing to be amused for a bit, but I meant it when I told Seth I’m selective. I haven’t had a lot of success in the relationship department, and there aren’t many people in the world I want to spend that much time with anyway.

      Seth, on the other hand, treats sex and dating like one big party, and everyone’s invited. He’s deeply appalled by my loner lifestyle and is forever trying to set me up with people, both male and female. Because in his book, you never limit your options. For all I know, he’s got the right idea. I’ve been attracted to a guy or two in my time, but never did anything about it.

      When I’d finally had my fill of clean sheets and a soft mattress, I got out of bed and stretched luxuriously. I dug around in a box in the corner until I found a couple good CDs and took my player into the bathroom, where I cranked up Elvis and took a long, hot shower. That, too, was like heaven after Seth’s place where I think new forms of life were breeding. Next time I use his bathroom, I’m wearing a Hazmat suit.

      After a fairly obscene amount of time, even by my standards, I finally turned off the water and scrubbed myself dry with a towel—also clean, fluffy, and fresh smelling. Maybe I should have Seth stay at my place for a couple of days and see if he doesn’t develop a yen for clean living himself.

      The last thing missing from my perfect morning was hot brew. I wrapped the towel around my waist and went out to the kitchen, grooving to Heartbreak Hotel. I ground up coffee beans and measured them into the basket of the coffee maker, filled it with water, and switched it on.

      I was about to go get dressed when there was a knock at my front door. Seth had left a doggie bag in my car with a hunk of prime rib, a few stuffed shrimp, and a pile of dinner rolls, and I figured he was back to get it. God forbid he should starve.

      “Anything you leave in my car is fair game,” I chided as I yanked the door open.

      “Is that so?” said a regal looking dame with a slow Southern drawl. “In that case, you’re likely to find me decorating your back seat, darlin’.”

      She was dressed in a flowy pantsuit kind of thing and glittered with jewelry, almost to the point of being overdone. Her perfect make-up and frosted hair suggested she was an expert at making herself pretty and never went anywhere without doing just that. I’d put her in her mid-sixties, but even so, she was unusually attractive, and back in the day she must have been quite a dish. The way she was looking at me made me feel like a main course. Cheap, and a little dirty even. Then I remembered I was half naked.

      “Oh, ah...I’m sorry, I was expecting someone else,” I said lamely.

      “That’s quite all right, honey,” she said as she swept into the room. “You look just fine to me.” She cocked her head and smiled, holding up the plate she was carrying. “I brought you some hot buns.”

      I clutched at my towel, because I had the distinct feeling if it fell off, I was the one who was going to get the shock of his life. This woman knew exactly what she was doing.

      “You are Dino Martini, aren’t you?” She extended a bejeweled hand over the plate of cinnamon rolls and said, “I’m Della Vinson Owen. I’m your next-door neighbor. I came to welcome you to our little family.”

      “That’s very nice of you, ma’am,” I said giving her hand a squeeze. “I’m sure I’ll enjoy them very much.”

      She snatched the plate out of my reach and headed for the kitchen. “They’re my own personal recipe, I’m sure you’re going to just love them. Now, you have a seat and I’ll pour us some coffee, and we can get better acquainted.”

      That fact that me getting dressed wasn’t included in her list of instructions didn’t escape my notice, and I began to get the feeling I could be in a bit of trouble. Not that I was especially worried about my virtue, but the last thing I needed was to piss off my neighbors right out of the gate.

      “I was so happy when Adele told me we had a new tenant, and that he was a charming young man,” she was saying as she poked around in my cupboards for plates to serve the rolls on. “I share the apartment next door with Ruth Fletcher.”

      “Adele said I was charming?” I raised an eyebrow.

      She laughed. “Well, she didn’t use that word, exactly, but she didn’t use a lot of other words I’ve heard her call people, so I just read between the lines. And here you are, charming as anything.”

      She set the table with silverware and napkins, and put the rolls in the middle, then went back for coffee. Since it appeared I was going to have a brunch date whether I liked it or not, I snuck into the bedroom for some pants.

      When I came back out a few minutes later, dressed in light slacks and a green silk shirt, she clapped her hands together and said, “Oh my, don’t you look handsome. I do like a man who’s a snappy dresser.”

      She took me by the arm and led me to the table, pulling out a chair for me to sit down in, and taking a seat opposite. She leaned forward, chin in hand, and said, “Now, tell me all about yourself.”

      “Not all that much to tell, ma’am.” I tore off a hunk of my cinnamon roll and buttered it. “I grew up in New York, went to school there, then got sick of the cold weather, so I came down here. I like it, so I’ve stayed here ever since.”

      “And what do you do for a living? I bet it’s very exciting.”

      I knew that was a standard line and it didn’t matter what I said. She’d claim to be incredibly impressed even if I told her I sorted bolts, but I really hated to sound like I was playing into it. Besides, I hadn’t exactly been honest with Adele about my job. If she didn’t want floozies traipsing through her building, I didn’t think she’d be too keen on having a P.I. there, either.

      “I’m kind of a personal consultant,” I said. “I help people sort out problems.”

      “My goodness, that sounds very interesting,” she said, right on cue. “You must be a very clever man.” The coy smile she gave me was right out of the Southern belle handbook, and I had to admit she wasn’t at all bad to look at even if she was about twenty years out of my range.

      I shrugged and took a sip of coffee. “I guess I have a knack for figuring things out. You learn to be pretty street smart when you grow up in a city like New York.”

      “I’ll just bet.”

      “What