Candlesight. Michael Liddy
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captured within. For a moment she wondered at why Jared had given her such a precious object, each piece so skilfully and lovingly crafted. Surely it shouldn’t ever be let out of sight.
The traffic was thankfully light - she loved school holidays - and was able to reach the factory just after twenty past five. As usual the street was silent and deserted, and the factory was almost completely dark. Amelia reached for her mobile phone, but then tossed it onto the passenger seat. “It’s the dark ages again where you can’t find anyone.”
Stress swelled up within her, a culmination of the day’s frustration and this forced inactivity. Her mind was used to immediate action and reaction; she felt almost completely unable to sit still. With a profound act of discipline she concentrated on her breathing, and slowly, steadily, she began to calm down.
Some twenty minutes later, a familiar form emerged from the side door to the rear loading entrance. Hunched over, head downcast and with hands deep in pockets, he trod a well worn path without looking around him. Amelia wondered if Jared ever noticed beauty around him, or if it was just from magazines and books.
As he drew level with her car on the opposite side of the road, Amelia opened the driver’s door and climbed out. Jared didn’t look up as she approached, and only abated his pace and abruptly stopped when he was almost upon her. His expression was at first startled and then confronted as he realised someone was near and then who it was.
Amelia closed the remaining distance and then watched him in silence for a moment. “Hello Jared.”
It was several seconds before he responded and when he did, his voice was hoarse, his expression a frown. “What are you doing here?”
“You didn’t think I’d want to talk to you after I’d seen this?” She lifted the book from her pocket and held it toward him.
At a loss for words, he fidgeted and kept his eyes downcast, finally lifting them to her, his expression earnest. “I didn’t want you thinking I was a lowlife.”
Amelia screwed her face up into a tight frown. “Why would I possibly think that?”
He took a deep breath, but it was long seconds before he finally replied. “You speak well, go all over the world... you’re something.”
She shook her head. “I was lucky, Jared, nothing more. I was born into a well-off family, but none of that matters really. It’s what you do with what you’ve got, and you’ve done something amazing.”
Jared mulled on that for a moment, and finally seemed to accept the point she was making. He gave her a rare appraising look, one that suggested he was allowed to, as opposed to his continual attempts to have all attention completely diverted away from him. There was also a deeper acknowledgement; her being here told him he was important in some way.
Sensing that he was relaxing, Amelia took the chance to ask him the question that hounded her most. “Jared, I can’t believe you copied these from books, they’re way too involving, too real. Where did you see these places? At the cinema?”
For the barest of instants a look of shock passed across his features, as if he’d been caught at something. Jared seemed on the verge of blurting something out. No words came forth though, and after a long pause, he simply nodded. “There’s an old theatre near here, they play all sorts of things. I have a good memory, I sketch.”
Knowing there was something he wasn’t telling her, and noting that he’d said before he didn’t go to see films but not sure if it was significant, or just an extension of his typical shyness, Amelia instead moved on. “The images are majestic, and very engaging. Looking at them, it feels like I’m there, all sorts of different times and places. You get all that from a few glimpses on a movie screen?”
Looking down, Jared bit his bottom lip and pushed his hands deep into his pockets. Returning his gaze to her, there was an entreating expression on his face. “I’m sick of being alone.”
The unexpectedness of the statement drew an immediate response from her. “What do you mean?”
“Once you’ve asked me all you want, are you going to go away?”
Amelia didn’t understand. “You mean today?”
He shook his head. “No. Soon though. Days, weeks.” There was a silence and a strange tension, Amelia knew he wanted to continue and was completely uncertain how to prompt him. She wanted him to continue; she felt an enormous swelling of emotion at his exposure to her. The words, when they came, were stilted. “I gave you my book because I didn’t want you to think I was stupid, but I also wanted you to keep talking to me.”
Reaching her hand to his shoulder, Amelia rested it there gently and was filled with warmth that he didn’t retreat away. “Even if you hadn’t said anything, I could tell from that first glance in the factory that there was a lot to you. I like the way you look at things, I really want to keep seeing you if you want.” At his hesitant and open smile she continued, “I think we could find things to talk about for ages.”
There was a long silence as they stood together. The open connection between them was completely unexpected, and neither knew immediately how to continue. Amelia played over in her mind the conversation that lead to his frank statement, dwelling on the emotions it made her feel. Jared was nothing like the men she’d experienced in her life, from family through private school and university. There was an honesty to him that was refreshing and completely without guile, and beyond his obvious talent, she found that very attractive, despite his social ineptness. That his appearance was completely without any sense of presence or personality hadn’t made any impact. She was being completely honest when she said their first glance had been meaningful; there had been an intensity and bearing to that tiny expression which was arresting.
It was as she replayed their conversation that something occurred to her. She fidgeted a little before asking the question, not particularly wanting to, but finally wanting to end the silence. “Where do you go to watch all these things?” Amelia lifted the journal from her pocket.
Jared’s expression became momentarily clouded by reluctance. This time, however, he responded immediately. “I don’t go to the movies.”
Frowning, she prompted him before he became elusive again. “Then how do you draw these places?”
He took a deep breath. “No one’s ever taken time to talk to me like you do. Ever.” Jared regarded her entreatingly. “I can talk to you about what I draw if you want.” He paused. “If I do, I don’t want you to tell anybody.”
Amelia stared at him in consternation for some time before responding. She couldn’t imagine what he was alluding to, but it was obvious from his demeanour and tone that he was sharing a very close confidence. Feeling wary, she replied quietly. “Jared, you don’t know me that well.”
Pushing his hands back down into his pockets again, he seemed to retreat, taking her comment as rejection. “Ok.” He kept his expression downcast and turned to walk away.
Her emotions lurching, Amelia reached for his shoulder and halted him in the motion of turning away. He stopped and looked back at her, his features blank. “Wait,” she said in a rush. “Of course I want you to tell me, I want to know. I just want you to be careful.”
Dropping his eyes, Jared mumbled a response. “Always careful, always quiet.” He glanced up before adding, “But that makes me nothing and I’m sick of always being nothing.”
At that moment her phone chimed loudly in her pocket, and with irritation she dropped her hand from Jared’s shoulder and retrieved it. Glad it wasn’t the repetitive sequence of a call, her heart raced as she saw the appointment reminder. The dinner with Arthur in an hour.
With a sharp intake of breath Amelia stammered, “Damn!” Stepping back from Jared she stared at him earnestly, her mind already miles away from him. “I really want to talk to you more about this, but