Lead Me Not. James B. Johnson

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Lead Me Not - James B. Johnson


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as he’s taken from me. Do you understand?”

      “You’re telling me this is not just an accommodation for you?”

      “Hell, no. I love the son of a bitch.”

      “Blasphemy—”

      Aloha leaned back against the wall and wrapped her arms around her knees. “Self-righteousness ought to be against one or more of the ten commandments. Reckon we can amend them and not piss off Moses?”

      “I know you’re trying to be funny and take the edge off this, but your mouth can be down in the gutter with your morals sometimes.”

      Aloha shrugged. “Some guys like it when you talk dirty.”

      “Not Daddy.”

      “He doesn’t really care. But I’m trying to learn to be a class act for him.”

      “Maybe it is that you’re simply looking for a father.”

      “Naah. One thing Rudd isn’t to me is a father figure.”

      Denise tried again. “Aloha. You are living in sin with my father, made worse by the fact that you are underage—”

      “Is it any worse than when your mother was living here? Me and Rudd get along and care for each other. Can you say that about her and Rudd?”

      No, Denise admitted. But this was against the Gospel. “Since we’re being so honest, tell me. Just how old are you, really?”

      Aloha gave Denise a calculating look, then shook her head. “Sometimes I feel like a hundred and eighteen, but it’s none of your goddamn business. You come marching in here and try to ruin a beautiful relationship—”

      “I’m trying to protect my father. What you gonna do, girl, when all the nosey neighbors figure out that you are living here in sin with a man and are not married?”

      “This is nineteen seventy-eight,” said Aloha.

      “One day one or more of those jerks who make everything their business is going to tell a cop, call the state’s attorney, something. Add it up yourself. You’ll be long gone and where does that put Daddy? The Leon County Correctional Facility.”

      Aloha made a pistol with her hand and went, “Bang, bang, bang. I usually have a plan for almost everything. The only one I can come up with is that my parents arranged this and it is legal—”

      “You living here is legal; the illicit sex part is not legal, Aloha.”

      “I’ll run to my room and act innocent.”

      “I have no doubt you can do that thing. Do not, do not get my father into trouble. And even if you slink out of it, you’ll ruin his reputation. As soon as a cop walks into that front door, the entire city will know. Business associates and friends alike.”

      Aloha shook her head. “I don’t have all the answers, Denise. What I know is I love Rudd and—and that’s that.”

      “We’ll see what he has to say when he gets home.”

      “He’s already said, Denise. Else I wouldn’t be here.”

      Denise was feeling lonely and left out.

      “Buddy?”

      “What about Buddy?”

      “You and he used to date—”

      “We went out a few times.” Aloha shrugged. “He was too old for me—oops!”

      Denise cocked an inquiring eye. “Are you using my father as a surrogate for my brother?”

      Aloha shook her head. “He was a boy, just another boy trying his best to get into my pants. I didn’t let him. There was nothing between us—then or now.”

      “Buddy is an engaging, good-looking guy. I’d think—?”

      “Nope,” said Aloha. “He needed to grow up.”

      That was true, Denise admitted to herself. But Buddy had really liked Aloha. Upon reflection, Denise could construe Buddy to be the male equivalent of Aloha.

      Denise had a frightening thought. Suppose Buddy came home? Not very likely, she thought. But if he did finally decide to face the devil in his past, watch out!

      Denise needed to pray and pray and pray some more.

      “Hello,” Rudd called and the front door closed loud enough for them to hear it. “Aloha? Denise?”

      He came down the hall wearing slacks, a beige shirt with a tie, his normal work outfit. “Hi girls. Denise I saw your car. Glad you’re home.”

      Denise stood. “I don’t think so, Daddy. I don’t wish to disturb your little love nest.”

      He regarded her calmly. “Is this how it’s going to be?”

      Aloha went past them and into the hall. “I gotta do some laundry.”

      “You don’t have to go,” said Rudd.

      “I think I do.” Aloha disappeared.

      “The number of the beast,” said Denise. “Six six six, Mr. Six.” She held out her fist and popped out one finger. “Mom gone, the first Six.” Another finger. “Buddy gone, a second Six.” A third. “Now me. The last Six.”

      “You’re not gone, Denise. You’re here.”

      “Not for long.”

      His face hardened. “It appears you’ve made up your mind without any facts again. Well, so goddamn be it.”

      “She’s turned you against me, Daddy.”

      “Nope. You have turned yourself against us. Aloha,” he looked surreptitiously down the hall and dropped his voice, “speaks so very well of you. She’s said she can’t wait for you to come home this weekend, that maybe you and she can do things together. A movie. Shopping.”

      It startled Denise. But she couldn’t help herself. “Because we’re so much closer in age?”

      Rudd looked at her for a few moments. “You sound like your mother now. I’ll forgive you because I know you did not mean that.”

      “Aloha is taking advantage of you—”

      “Did you stop to think, maybe it’s the other way around?”

      “You’re a man. You take what comes your way and that’s that.”

      He breathed deeply. “This is difficult to say when Aloha is so much younger. But if I did not care a lot about her, more than you can imagine, I would not have allowed this to happen. I tell you, Denise, it is more than physical.”

      “Real love?” Frost edged her words.

      “I cannot not do it. I’ve fought it and fought it, Denise. I found I have no choice. Do you understand? I have no goddamn choice—”

      “Do not take the Lord’s name in vain—”

      “No goddamn choice. My gut and my heart and my soul are driving me. Not my goddamn brain. It’s as if it were a physiological imperative. I don’t know how old she is and I don’t want to know. I am attracted to her as I’ve never been to anyone in my entire life. She is a compulsion to me. So much so that I make no excuses nor will I deny her. It’s like an addict or an alcoholic—”

      “Second Corinthians tells us to cleanse ourselves from all filthiness of the flesh and spirit.”

      Rudd stuck his face toward hers. “See my haunted eyes?

      “What are you going to do when Mrs. Leverenson or some other busy-body calls the authorities?”

      “I don’t know.”

      “What are you going to do when she gets pregnant?”

      “Maybe


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