Man in a Hurry and Other Fantasy Stories. Alan Nelson
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leaped out at him; should he make a shoplifter out of his brother-in-law, or a shopdropper? Should he leave the gloves right side out or wrong side out? Each alternative offered such dazzling possibilities that, for a moment, Dr. Departure felt himself almost torn in two by the exquisite but mutually exclusive choices. Then, the answer came to him…what if he left one glove right side out and the other wrong side out…?
* * * *
“Why, Bert!” Mrs. Departure said, opening the door to her brother, Dr. Schnappenhocker’s, a week later. “Come on in!”
“I can’t,” Dr. Schnappenhocker replied, handing her a cardboard carton filled with assorted articles. “Just thought I’d drop these off. They’re a few more things Manly deposited in my office when he was…well, before I cured him.”
Mrs. Departure took the carton.
“I must say you’re a miracle man, Bert. Just one treatment, and now he’s as fit as a fiddle.”
“It was nothing,” Schnappenhocker said, backing down the steps nervously. There was a tenseness about his eyes and he kept jerking at the ends of his fingers.
Mrs. Departure closed the door and returned to the dining room, where her husband was wolfing down a tremendous dinner.
“That was Bert,” she explained. “With another carton of junk. You know, I’m worried about the man. He keeps bringing all this stuff over here, insisting it’s yours, but it all belongs to him! Here’s his fountain pen, his copper letter opener, even his appointment book! And what makes it even stranger,” she went on, shaking her head, “every time he deposits a load, he manages to sneak off with an armful of our stuff!”
She went to the window and peeked through the Venetian blinds. “Look at him out there! Unscrewing the nozzle of the hose! Why, the man’s turning into a human pack rat!”
“Probably been working too hard on that speech,” Dr. Departure said, beaming and helping himself to another pork chop. “Always knew Schnappenhocker would crack up someday.”
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