The Power of Positive Aging. David Lereah
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Of course, the most effective way to achieve mindfulness is to practice intense meditative techniques. As mentioned earlier, to attain true mindfulness you should aspire to 30-minute meditation sessions. The more you meditate, the easier it becomes to maintain awareness of your breathing, which helps empty the mind.
Here is a simple way to meditate:
➢ Sit or lie comfortably
➢ Close your eyes
➢ Breathe naturally
➢ Focus your attention on your breathing and how your body moves with each inhalation and exhalation
➢ Focus and repeat a mantra such as “ohm” or “I’m”
➢ Come back into focus when you wander
➢ You are now in a meditative state
I admit, I had a difficult time meditating during my treatment; I was easily distracted due to my heightened anxiety. However, instead of getting frustrated and more anxious because of failed meditation, I chose to practice what I call simple meditation—meditating for just 2 to 5 minutes per session. Although meditating for less than 5 minutes seemed fruitless, it was effective over a period. Of course, if you can meditate for 30 minutes or more, do it.
After meditating, people are more likely to focus their attention in the present. Meditation makes your mind calmer and more focused. Even a simple 2-to-5-minute breathing meditation can help you overcome the stress of aging, and it will help you find a measure of inner peace and balance. If you are able to perform an intense 30-minute meditation, you will transform negative energy to positive energy, and go from being despondent to satisfied. Ripening positive thoughts is the purpose of the transforming meditations found in the Buddhist tradition.
When you achieve a deep meditative state, I believe you touch your spirit. You will experience a calming sensation; you will feel less stress and you will be free from your ego. Thoughts about the past and worries about the future are absent; you are now in the present moment. Meditating several times a day is like refueling your spiritual tank—it gives you the spiritual energy to cope with the inconveniences of aging on a daily basis.
For people who do not want to fully integrate meditation into their lives, I suggest trying out my simple approach of meditating two times per day for just 2 to 5 minutes for each session. Apps such as Simple Habit, Calm, and Headspace offer brief, easy-to-use meditation sessions. (See chapter 14, A Lifestyle Plan for Positive Aging, for additional suggestions.)
Morning. Take 2 to 5 minutes out of your morning to meditate. Morning meditation awakens your spirit, putting you in the best position to deal with aging-related issues throughout the day.
Evening. Take 2 to 5 minutes out of your evening to meditate. Evening meditation helps cleanse your ego of negative thoughts that have built up throughout the day.
Avoid Multitasking
For many people, it gets easier to slow down life and avoid multitasking as they age. Life gets simpler with fewer responsibilities, and a simpler life is a more calming and peaceful life, which allows you to better focus on present moments.
Practice Tai Chi and Qigong
If you are looking for a way to reduce stress and practice mindfulness, consider tai chi or qigong.
Tai chi is an ancient Chinese tradition that is practiced as a graceful form of exercise. It involves a series of movements performed in a slow, focused manner that is combined with deep breathing. Today, tai chi is used for stress reduction and a variety of other health conditions. It is often described as meditation in motion. Tai chi is suitable for older people who may not otherwise exercise, since it is low-impact and does not involve rigorous and intense physical activity. Tai chi requires no special equipment and can be done indoors or outdoors. You can do it alone or in a group class.
Qigong is an ancient Chinese health-care system that integrates physical postures, breathing techniques, and focused attention. It is similar to tai chi. Both qigong and tai chi practices are available in group exercise classes. You can even watch YouTube videos to learn more about the practice. Tai chi and qigong are well suited for people over age 55 because they are low-impact physical activity programs. They also require less stressful stretching than yoga.
Block Out Past Thoughts
Don’t compare yourself now to when you were younger and could run a marathon. It is your ego that longs for past accomplishments. Tame your ego to block out past thoughts that are keeping you from living in the present. This was, perhaps, my most difficult challenge. At first, my ego would not accept my cancer diagnosis; I was still living in the past. Yet without acceptance, I could not move forward and effectively battle cancer. Blocking out past thoughts was a difficult but necessary condition for my success.
It’s OK to reminisce about your past with a cheerful disposition, but if past memories trigger negative emotions, push your ego off center stage and take control.
Don’t Worry about the Future
This is easier said than done, especially if you are battling a life-threatening disease like cancer. Again, tame your ego. If you are frightened by the future—about getting cancer, becoming immobile, losing your hearing, or not being able to eat a big, fat juicy steak—turn these negative emotions into positive emotions. You can do this by blocking out your thoughts about the future and choosing to live only in the present moment.
AN EXCEPTION TO MINDFULNESS
There are exceptions to living in the present. Terminal cancer patients (i.e., stage 4) who are going through trying times in their therapy are prime examples. Their present moment is a horrific one. They need to envision a better future or remember an enjoyable time from the past to feel slightly better. The present moment can be a torment.
When you are at a point of no return and death is near, you may find comfort and peace of mind by reflecting back into the past on parts of your life that were better than what you are experiencing at the present moment.
Final Thoughts
If there was ever a time to live in the present and be free from worries about the past or the future, it is when we are growing old. Living in the present helps us deal with the inconveniences of aging, like life-threatening disease and other severe health conditions, as well as declining physical appearance, bodily functions, and mental health. Achieving mindfulness is certainly one of the keys to practicing positive aging.
CHAPTER FIVE
Positivity
Physical and mental decline are inevitable, but your decline is not. Your mind, spirit, and beliefs have a profound influence on the marks of aging and these marks can be reversed by shifts in awareness. I have already shown how the power of mindfulness (living in the present moment) can positively affect your approach toward aging. There is another powerful force to help you age successfully: positivity.
The dictionary defines positivity as the practice of being or tendency to be positive or optimistic in attitude. According to Courtney Ackerman of Positivepsychology.com, “Positive thinking is a mental and emotional attitude that focuses on the bright side of life and expects positive results.”14
A more pertinent description of positivity in the context of positive aging is given by Kendra Cherry at Verywell Mind (2017): “Positive thinking actually means approaching life’s challenges with a positive outlook. It does not necessarily mean avoiding or ignoring the bad things; instead, it involves making the most of the potentially bad situations, trying to see the best in other people and viewing yourself and your abilities in a positive light.”15
Positivity is different from the Law