Satan’s Tail. Dale Brown
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stopped and took a breather.
‘Don’t be such a damn wimp,’ said Zen. He plunged beneath the water, stroking away.
It occurred to Mack that swimming underwater when you couldn’t use your legs to help must be – was – extremely difficult. But then, just about everything you did when you couldn’t use your legs was extremely difficult. And Zen didn’t complain or ask for help – hell, he got mad when people tried to help him.
Which Mack understood. He’d thought after Zen’s crash that Zen got mad only with him, because he held a grudge. Now he realized Zen got mad with everyone. The reason was simple. Most of the people who wanted to help you – not necessarily all, but most – were thinking, You poor little baby, you. Let me help you.
For someone like Zen or Mack, being treated like a baby, being pitied – well the hell with that!
But you needed help sometimes. That was the worst part of it. Sometimes you just couldn’t drag yourself up a full flight of stairs, not and bring your wheelchair with you.
‘Ready to start again, Major?’ asked Penny.
‘Oh yeah. Starting,’ said Mack, pushing.
‘Ten laps, gimp boy!’ yelled Zen from the other side of the pool. ‘You owe me ten laps.’
‘Right,’ muttered Mack.
‘I’m going to do twenty in the time it takes you to do one.’
‘It’s not a race,’ said Penny.
The others liked Zen, so they wouldn’t tell him to shut up, Mack thought. And he wasn’t going to tell him to shut up either, because that would be like saying Zen had won. No way. Let him be the world’s biggest jerk. Great. Fine. Just because you couldn’t walk didn’t make you a stinking hero or a great human being. Zen was a jerk before his accident, and he was a jerk now.
A bigger jerk.
‘Legs,’ said Penny.
‘Yeah, legs,’ grunted Mack.
Humboldt County, northwestern California 1235
Kick’s family lived on a cul-de-sac not far from the town center in McKinleyville, California, the sort of location a real estate agent would call ‘convenient to everything.’ Starship parked at the far end of the circle. As he walked up the cement driveway, he started to regret his decision to come. He paused at the bottom of the steps, but it was too late; someone came up the drive behind him, and as he glanced back, the front door opened.
‘You’re his friend. How do you do?’ said Kick’s father at the door. ‘Have a drink, please. Make yourself at home.’
‘Maybe just a beer, I think,’ said Starship, stepping inside.
‘Bud’s in the fridge. Help yourself.’
Starship moved inside. As he reached the kitchen he saw Kick’s sister bending into the refrigerator – and noticed that she had a large engagement ring on her finger.
‘Oh, Lieutenant Andrews,’ she said. ‘I’m glad you changed your mind.’
‘I can only stay for a few minutes.’
‘Want something to drink?’
‘A beer maybe.’
‘Just like my brother.’ She reached in and got him a Bud Lite, then introduced him to some of the other people in the small kitchen. Two were friends of Kick’s and about his age; Starship thought the men shrank back a bit as he shook their hands, maybe put off by his uniform. There was an aunt, the sister’s fiancé, a cousin, and the minister, who proved to be much younger up close than from the back of the church. Starship took his beer and moved toward the side of the kitchen. The others were talking about something that had happened at the local school.
‘It was an unfortunate situation,’ said the minister as Starship slid to the side.
‘Yeah, really bad,’ said Starship.
‘He died a hero.’
‘Do you think that matters?’
The minister blanched. Starship hadn’t meant it as a challenge – hadn’t meant anything, really. The question simply bubbled out of his private thoughts.
‘Don’t you?’ said one of Kick’s friends.
Starship felt a moment of hesitation, a catch in his throat as if his breath had been knocked from him.
‘I don’t think he’s not – wasn’t brave, I mean. I think it sucks that he died,’ he said. ‘I think it’s really terrible. And he was – he volunteered. We all did, and it’s important what we do.’ He knew he was babbling but he couldn’t stop. ‘He was a brave guy, I mean, as brave as most people, I think, but it wasn’t like – it’s not like a movie thing, you know, where the guy charges out and people are shooting at him. We do have guys like that. They just march right through anything. And to be a pilot, I mean, you do face death, you know. But, you don’t think about it like – it’s not a movie thing. It didn’t happen like you’d think it would happen in a movie. We were there and then he was dead.’
Finally he stopped talking. He felt thankful, as if someone else had been making his mouth work and he had no control.
‘The Lord does have a plan for us all,’ said the minister.
Starship wanted to ask him how he knew, and more important, how someone could find out what the plan was. But he was afraid of opening his mouth again. He didn’t want the others to misunderstand him, and he didn’t want to insult the minister. Starship knew he wasn’t the most religious person in the world; he believed in God, certainly, but if he found himself in church more than twice a year, it was a lot.
No one else in the kitchen spoke. Starship thought everyone was staring at him.
‘That was a nice passage from the Bible,’ the cousin told the minister.
‘There’s a lot of solace in the Old Testament,’ said the minister.
Starship realized that the reverend was struggling to find the right words to say. Which surprised him. Weren’t ministers supposed to have this stuff down cold?
‘Did you know Kick well, Lieutenant?’ asked the cousin.
‘Uh, we were in the same unit. We were together –’ Starship stopped short of telling them how Kick had died. Partly it was for official reasons: Details of the mission remained classified. But mostly he didn’t want to talk about it – didn’t want to describe how he’d pulled his friend from the wreck, only to discover he was dead.
Everyone stared.
‘He was a heck of a pilot,’ said Starship finally. He could talk about this – this was easy, nothing but facts and no interpretation; easy, straightforward facts. ‘I’ll tell you, I saw him fly an A-10A once. We, uh, we had one at the base.’ He checked himself again, knowing he couldn’t mention Dreamland, much less what aircraft were there. ‘Had that A-10A turning on a dime. Ugly plane.’
One of the friends mumbled something in agreement, then ventured that Kick had always liked to fix cars when he was in high school. Starship downed the rest of the beer, then slipped out as quickly as he could.
Aboard the Abner Read, off the Horn of Africa 3 November 1997 2042
Storm adjusted the loop at his belt, easing the brake on the safety rope system so he could move more freely on the deck of the ship. Angled and faceted to lessen its radar profile, the ship’s topside was not particularly easy to walk on, even in relatively calm seas, and with no railing along the sides of the ship, the safety rope was an absolute